Laugh for the day.........

Goose · Mar 25, 2015

A letter from an insurance company came in the mail today addressed to my father, and was emblazoned in large letters stating, "Dental Coverage Guaranteed!"

Uh, my father died in June of 1985.

rrlund · Mar 25, 2015

Kind of like a recorded message I had on the answering machine the other day. One part of the message was "You don't have to unless you want to". So,if I want to,that means I have to? Guess I'd better have the will power not to want to.

Goose · Mar 25, 2015

Best message I ever heard on an answering machine was when I was with an insurance company, I attempted to call a client.

I got her answering machine with a message, "I've made some changes in my life recently and if I don't return your call that means you're one of the changes".

JF in MI · Mar 25, 2015

I guess that's why it's 'Guaranteed'.

ditchwitch · Mar 25, 2015

lmao, thats great

cool hand · Mar 25, 2015

An amusing answering machine message I encountered was "This is Jim. I ain't home. You know what to do."

Fawteen · Mar 25, 2015

My favorite is from my friend the retired cop:

"You have the right to remain silent. If you choose to give up that right, leave a message at the tone."

KenL · Mar 25, 2015

I used to have this one on my phone. Hi, I'm probably home but, I'm not answering the phone because I'm trying to avoid someone so, leave you name, number and a short message. If I don't call you back, it's you.

jeffcat · Mar 25, 2015

Oh that is just mean! I like it though.

john *.?-!.* cub owner · Mar 25, 2015

I got a similar ad. Guess I need to go ask dentist where my teeth are. False teeth for 3 years now.

TimV · Mar 25, 2015

A good friend had "you've reached the house of Nobody. Nobody is home right now. Leave a message and Nobody will call you back".

MichiganMike · Mar 26, 2015

A friend of mine has two sons. They became friends with a German exchange student. My buddy had this German guy leave the typical message, You know, no ones able to answer the phone right now,etc.etc. only had him Barking it in deep loud German...lol Parents would call checking on other kids...hang up thinking they had the wrong number. Try again, A few brave but very timid voices would leave a message. It kept us laughing, then his wife would call the people back...lol MTP...

Pooh Bear · Mar 26, 2015

We came home one evening to find a message on our answering machine. We just have the generic message that was on the machine when we got it. Some girl (wrong number) left a message.
"This message is for Homer from (her name). I'm getting(...named off some groceries). If you need anything else let me know before I get off work."
I got the number from caller ID and back traced it to Piggly Wiggly in the next town up the valley. So I called her back at the store. The manager(?) answered.
"Hello, Piggly Wiggly. How can I help you?"
"Uh, yes, I'd like to speak with (her name)."
"One moment, can I tell her who is calling?"
"Oh, she has no idea who I am."
"Ok, she will be right here."
She comes to the phone and picks it up.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this (her name)?"
"Yes it is."
"You called earlier about an order for someone named Homer?"
"Yes, I did."
"Well, Homer is our dog, and we don't allow him to place orders over the phone anymore."
She burst out laughing.
"You may want to call the number you were trying to reach and give the message to that 'Homer'."
We talked for a bit about how funny it all was then hung up.

jimg.allentown · Mar 26, 2015

How about "this is not Jim. This is only a recording of his voice. If you want to talk to Jim, leave a message and he will call you back."

Laugh for the day.........

Goose

Well-known Member

rrlund

Well-known Member

Goose

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JF in MI

Well-known Member

ditchwitch

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cool hand

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Fawteen

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KenL

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jeffcat

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john .?-!. cub owner

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TimV

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MichiganMike

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Pooh Bear

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jimg.allentown

Well-known Member

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