Neighbor dies.

Geo-TH,In · Mar 16, 2015

Found out a man down the road passed, aggressive pancreatic cancer. By the time he learned what he had cancer it was too late, nothing they could do. Man died in a few weeks. Man wanted to stay at home so he went on hospice. His boy came to stay with him. His boy was going to get everything until his dad discovered his boy was in a big hurry for him to die. Boy played with dad's meds, tried to kill his own dad. Well the man changed his will before he passed, boy got nothing. Boy should have gone to jail. Have you ever heard of something as crazy? I guess money is the route of evil.

Olen (TN) · Mar 16, 2015

Yep sounds like my sister.

TomH in PA · Mar 16, 2015

Things like this do happen. But sometimes a person on pain medication doesn't always think clearly.

My father-in-law kept calling the state police because he was convinced that the people at the nursing home had stolen the car Oprah gave him for saving some guy from a bunch of gangsters. This was a man who had been in a wheel chair for years after a broken hip.

And I know around here, if something happens (like a death) and neighbors don't know all the details, they'll make them up.

rrlund · Mar 16, 2015

Got a sister in law like that. My mother lives with her and my brother. Enough said.

JF in MI · Mar 16, 2015

Have a SIL like that. When MIL was dying from brain cancer every time the SIL took care of her she wound up in the ER (from messed up meds). Finally had to get a live in nurse.

DENNIS MIN · Mar 16, 2015

Geo,

Unsure of all the goings on... but my mother-in-law swore I took advantage of her finances.

I cannot think of another day that I wasn't more peed off.

You may call me a lot of things...money grubber I am not.

She didn't know. I am sure she would take it back.

D.

cole in mo. · Mar 16, 2015

When dad died mom was in the nursing home, younger brother and a sister got power of attorney. Took over everthing, real estate, all dads finance holdings, everything they wanted from the estate. Had a sale, sold the property, I didn't even get the old 2520 marlin dad always told me would be mine.

Billy Shafer · Mar 16, 2015

When my mom died. The sister second in line. Tried to take over. I informed her that as I was the oldest.I make the rules. We will do as mom wanted.She fought me till the end mad as you know what.Really blew up when I had a black lady sit as head of the family.Told her the lady was moms best friend. Always looked after her.If the skin color is a problem. Don't come to the service.

T in NE · Mar 16, 2015

My grandparents took in an elderly man when I was little. His live in caretaker was holding his meds and generally trying to hasten his demise once she conned him into writing his will to give her everything. She had several houses she gained ownership of that way.
Mom and dad bought Tom's house off her son after Tom passed. She had died of a massive heart attack. Her son just said she finally got hers.

Paul from MI · Mar 16, 2015

Sure can relate, my MIL hired an attorney to sue my wife and I to return her car(she wasn't safe driving anymore). We were paying all of her bills. We ended up paying to sue ourselves!

tedregentin · Mar 16, 2015

Your quote from Scripture is incorrect. The correct quote is "The love of money is the root of all evil."

JF in MI · Mar 16, 2015

Understandable. If my MIL had died suddenly it would have been a disaster (sizable estate) because she believed her family was 'tight' and there was no need for a will despite begging from several of her daughters. She was diagnosed with brain cancer and rethought the will thing and had a personal attorney friend make up an ironclad one. Whew! 95% of the fighting was eliminated and all involved got fair shares. Thank God my wife was NOT executrix.

dgasper · Mar 16, 2015

In times like that, some people's real character comes out doesn't it. It isn't always pretty.

oldtanker · Mar 16, 2015

(quoted from post at 19:43:14 03/16/15) In times like that, some people's real character comes out doesn't it. It isn't always pretty.

That's why we are spending our kid's inheritance!

Wife has 1 sister and 4 brothers. No one cares about the estate except one brother who thinks he deserves everything. Has told everyone that he's going to hire a lawyer to break the estate. One good BIL is married to money. His wife told the rest of us not to worry, that as long as we are in agreement she will hire a top notch attorney to represent her husband and the others. I really don't care. I don't have a dog in this fight. MIL doesn't have anything my wife want's or needs.

Rick

Dick2 · Mar 17, 2015

I think some people see things more clearly when they are facing death, and this may be one of those cases.

Personally, I think family are not entitled to anything by right of birth. If they didn't do anything respectable to earn a share, they shouldn't get one.

Every time I hear of such things, I'm reminded of neighbors. Their daughter ran off with some guy right after high school. Son never married and stayed home and farmed the land and took care of the folks. When the folks died, half the land and money went to the daughter that they hadn't seen since she left. Son was so depressed at the injustice that he hanged himself a couple years later.

Mike (WA) · Mar 17, 2015

I have written wills in my law practice for the last 25 years, and have been surprised at the number of folks whose primary purpose of re-doing their will was to cut Billy or Muffy out of it.

Legal tip- if you want to cut somebody out in the worst way, just cross his name out. That's the worst way, because cross-outs are usually just ignored by the probate court. Second worst is to re-write and just not mention him- He will contest the will, saying "You know, Dad was getting pretty forgetful in his old age, and probably just forgot about me." The proper way is to re-write, list all your "heirs at law", and then say that you are specifically disinheriting him: "I direct that my son Billy take nothing under this Will, blah blah." The blah, blah can be nice- "because I have previously provided for him", or naughty "because he is the most mean-spirited, self-centered and avaricious person I ever had the misfortune to meet, much less sire", or anything in between.

Mike (WA) · Mar 17, 2015

Forgot to mention something- if you do cut Billy out, DO NOT LEAVE THE ORIGINAL WILL IN YOUR HOUSE. While the rest of the family is at your funeral, Billy will be at your house, looking for the Will, armed with the knowledge that if there is no Will, he will take under the laws of intestacy, which means he will get a full share along with his brothers and sisters. When he finds the Will and sees that, as he suspected, he has been cut out, that's the last anyone will ever see of the Will.

MarkB_MI · Mar 17, 2015

Don't be surprised if Junior gets his share in the end. Assuming there was enough money in the estate to attract the attention of a lawyer.

Ken Macfarlane · Mar 17, 2015

This is closer to what I've seen happen. My grandfather thought family members were trying to take his money. The truth was he was kicked out of an expensive assisted living home and he promised his daughter to pay the same rent and stay with her.

After 1 month he refused to pay rent but she obviously looked after him anyways. At end in the hospital he was yelling about family trying to take his money. I saw the paperwork later, nobody took or stole any money other than the government because he never planned tax consequences of dying.

JML755 · Mar 17, 2015

Mike (WA),
Thanks for the free advice which seems very sound. Hope I never have to use the part about disinheritance. :lol:

My 2 experiences with estates:

Dad remarried after Mom died at 57. She was a gold-digger sort and he actually had to go back to work after being retired several years because she was spending his pension as fast as he got it. She took all of Mom & Dad's heirlooms that we expected to be passed down(crystalware, silverware). I think each of us kids got some little token thing. But it didn't really matter to us that much. She even asked the funeral director if they could pull his gold fillings before he was cremated. :roll:

My elderly aunt passed at 90, had never married but was VERY close to me and my 5 siblings. Sister and I were co-executors, but I took care of selling all the stocks/bonds and distributing her estate per her wishes. It was pretty equal but there were some dedications of specific insurance policies or funds to certain people who could use the money more than others. No one questioned anything, trusting that I would do the right thing. Took well over a year to get it all settled and a fair amount of work (especially since a number of the stocks were blue-chips that had been split up over the years so figuring cost-basis was time consuming) but when I gave out the final checks, no one even looked at the financial breakdown of the estate. Just said thanks for taking care of it.

Meangreen · Mar 17, 2015

@MikeWA - Been down that road with a friend of mine. He died in an accident and his only daughter who generally only came around on holidays got into his house first (actually had a neighbor break in for her since she didn't even have a key) and seized control of his will. His sister was then given a copy of the will that was missing at least one page which gave her control over everything in his estate. Supposedly according to his best friend some of his stuff was supposed to be handed out to certain people, but we will never know for sure. Oh well it's just stuff anyway...

PJH · Mar 17, 2015

George, there are all kinds in this world. Lots of folks with no conscience and motivated solely by greed.

I have noticed some things though - the caregiver will often be the goat. One of our previous preachers fell out with his own sister. Sis was caring for their father, and preacher thought his dad should have the exact same bank balance at death that he had when he moved in with sis. The old man was not a free-loader, and insisted on paying for his own meds, vittles and part of the living expenses in the home she was providing. The old man died 10 years ago, and the preacher still won't speak to his sister, insisting that she robbed the family of part of their inheritance. If he'd been in a nursing home for that extended time, there would have been NO inheritance left for the family, but preacher gets red in the face when I mention that.

1130Leo · Mar 17, 2015

One thing is for sure, death brings out the evil side of the family. My former sister managed to steal everything she could before the old man died, then somehow made an estate worth about $120k end up being worth less than $40k. Even had the old man "sell" her acreage worth about $20k on his death bed, literraly 2 days before he passed for a supposed $5k, that she never even paid, not even out of her part of the estate. I have not spoken to any of the family since the court date to dispute her having him sign a sale agreement when he clearly was not in any shape to do so, the judge and the idiot lawyers sided with her. One can not choose their family, and also can't keep a close enough eye on them to make sure they do what is right. She will get hers in the end, kharma is a pain in the hiney...

oldtanker · Mar 17, 2015

(quoted from post at 06:39:15 03/17/15) George, there are all kinds in this world. Lots of folks with no conscience and motivated solely by greed.

I have noticed some things though - the caregiver will often be the goat. One of our previous preachers fell out with his own sister. Sis was caring for their father, and preacher thought his dad should have the exact same bank balance at death that he had when he moved in with sis. The old man was not a free-loader, and insisted on paying for his own meds, vittles and part of the living expenses in the home she was providing. The old man died 10 years ago, and the preacher still won't speak to his sister, insisting that she robbed the family of part of their inheritance. If he'd been in a nursing home for that extended time, there would have been NO inheritance left for the family, but preacher gets red in the face when I mention that.

Why don't you just ask him if greed is one of the 7 deadly sins?

Rick

pete 23 · Mar 17, 2015

Only thing I will add is if you are in a position of having control of someone else's property, like power of attorney or court appointed guardian or conservator, just talk about it with others who have an interest in the situation. Let them know what you are planning and why. Most likely they will go along with it when they see your reasoning for doing so. Do not just go ahead and sell stuff, or buy stuff. My brother in law thought he knew best(married a woman at age 40 who was widowed with four kids) and it ruined the best friendship I ever had in the world with him. I had to handle my brother's affairs and it all ended up fine.

PJH · Mar 17, 2015

He's the smartest man on the planet, Rick, and won't tolerate questions from the underlings. I do make him change colors occasionally.

oldtanker · Mar 17, 2015

(quoted from post at 11:22:28 03/17/15) He's the smartest man on the planet, Rick, and won't tolerate questions from the underlings. I do make him change colors occasionally.

LOL I love asking preachers questions! Most often I get "I don't have time to talk right now".

Rick

longear · Mar 17, 2015

my uncle passed several years ago. he owned half of the family farm I own the other half. he always talked of signing his half over to me. never got around to it. he left everything to his girl friend. when she lost everything and the bank was taking over she was cleaning out the house. I asked if I could have an old family photo. she snapped NO that belongs to me. she didn't even know anyone in the picture but it belonged to her.

I don't dislike many people. but I got no use for her.

RodinNS · Mar 18, 2015

I'm curious why you would think the boy was motivated by greed? If you've ever watched someone die of pancreatic cancer you might be inclined to bump up the morphine too. The other side of that equation is how sound of mind was the man while near death and hyped up on morphine? My guess would be... not too sound at all. So I wouldn't be too quick to make judgement on this without knowing all of the facts. It could be a far different situation than you suspect or were led to believe.
I also doubt very much that the will would stand if challenged given the circumstances.

Rod

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