Do you live a separate life from your spouse?

SDE

Well-known Member
Some husbands and wife are partners. They do a lot together. Others are married and they each do their own thing. One post below shows a woman driving a tractor. Another post is about a family, and the wife is somewhat clueless as to what her husband has got going, in regards to their finances. I was thinking about this last Friday. I was going to start one of my tractors and then tow another to a different part of the shed. A two person job. Who do you ask? A spouse or do you call a friend?
Just curious
Steve
 
My smoking hot wife of 26 years will help me do what needs done. She won't drive our semis but even runs the combine if needed
 
She helps me,and I try to tell her as much as I can,but I get so tired of hearing "Huh?" and having to repeat myself every time I say anything. I know it's just habit. She hears just fine when she shouldn't.
 
My wife writes all the checks and pays all the bills. But don't like to be pulled or be the puller. So call a neighbor. Vic
 
It all depends on many factors. Some times if I have to move a tractor with a tractor I just hook up a 3 point draw bar and back up to the dead tractor and chain the front wheels to the draw bar and lift and take off. Some time I get the boy or wife to help. Had my WD45 die out in the field this past summer and took the D-17 out with 3 point draw bar and tow it out of the field then unhooked the hay rake and then hooked the rake to the D-17 and finish raking the hay. Did not even bother to say any thing to the wife
 
I would like to answer. My wife that hates about all that I do "READS" the Forum. Still under the some roof Still Love one another. I guess if I just read on I can just agree with one or two that works. Help On Dear Boys.. LOL
 
When my wife was alive she was my goffer and check writer. I still had balance the check book. She was mathematically challenged along with directionally challenged. Now I use auto pay to avoid late fees. Keep my records on computer and have overdraft protection.
 
My wife of 38 years (+5, we dated before marriage) has done the whole spectrum from helping me build our home at age 25 to keeping things together when I was not able.

Since a neighbor had a terrible towing accident that injured his wife, I have taken a different view of asking for her help, I can ask a neighbor and be safer for us both.

We are at the stage of enjoying our grand kids, and managing our health, our greatest asset.
 
My wife helps me with whatever help i need no matter what.
The only thing she refuses to do is doing books and come in the corral with me to chase the Bison into the handling system,..she says she ain't suicidal!
 
Totally separate. She has no idea how many tractors I have; I have no idea how many coats she has! If big Red rolled me down over one of these steep hills, someone else would have to find me.
 
Happy to be divorced, been that way 8 years now, and intend to stay that way. I've had an occasional girlfriend help me out a day raking hay or giving me a ride to pick up a vehicle at the mechanics. Even had a city girl push me out with a track loader. She'd never driven anything but a car with an automatic but she was riding with me in the dump truck and I buried it to the frame. She was driving or we were walking. But other than that I'd rather work alone or with a hired hand.
 
My wife and I do most everything together. Milk cows, wrap hay, pick stones, But.... She won't drive a tractor, or a heavy truck,pickup is fine but nothing bigger. Wife does all the bill paying and book keeping so I think it is a fair trade.I would rather drive a truck or tractor than push a pencil any day. And of coarse she knows how many tractors I have and what they cost, she writes the cheques.
 
When I take a step backwards, I might be standing on her toes. I always tell her she is like a little kid tagging along. Great helper on anything she can handle. She enjoys helping me clean up parts etc on tractors. She has terrible rhuamthoid arthritis for last several years along with scroiliois in spine so that limits her help now days. I do padlock the walk behind lawn mower to keep her from using it as she still insists she can do it. Now days, I am learning to do a lot more cooking, cleaning , laundry etc.
 
For many years, out of necessity, my wife was a machinery operator. She would fit ahead of me while I was planting, drive the baler, help lay tile, pick rock, help build bins, and haul and unload grain back here. But she never liked it. In time she got sick enough of it and working with me, that she kind of quit, and I kind of decided that if we were going to continue to live together, we couldn't work together. Fortunately about then I was able to upgrade machinery so I could do it myself.
She always hated with a passion trying to tow a disabled or stuck vehicle.
I do all the paper/financial work.
 
my wife has logged thousands of hours driving tractors doing all kinds of jobs. she gave me four boys now she doesn't have to drive a tractor very often.
 
I love my wife, she's my partner when its time to tow-start a tractor. Here are some pictures of her on a BN with the P&O trip plow in spring of '13. And just today she became a Grandmother!
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You are lucky, my wife of 28 years wasn't that
healthy. House work was about all she could handle
and sometimes I had to help with that.
 
(quoted from post at 13:53:43 01/11/15) Some husbands and wife are partners. They do a lot together. Others are married and they each do their own thing. One post below shows a woman driving a tractor. Another post is about a family, and the wife is somewhat clueless as to what her husband has got going, in regards to their finances. I was thinking about this last Friday. I was going to start one of my tractors and then tow another to a different part of the shed. A two person job. Who do you ask? A spouse or do you call a friend?
Just curious
Steve

My wife quit her COO job 4 years ago to help me out. Now she almost single handedly handles the produce side of the farm. She pulls the produce trailer up to the corner everyday when we are in season, and is there to give me a pull start or lend an extra hand when I need her. Last summer she had to handle things by herself as I took a month off recovering from surgery. Can't ask for more than that.

 
Good Evening Pete 23

I know what your talking about , My Wife has Rheumatoid Arthritis also . It hit her in her early 30 s, She has had to have her right Hip replaced twice , both knees , fingers straightened , toes straightened , then we were in a wreck & she broke her Femur & had to have a plate put in ,
I call her my Bionic Woman .She hurts all the time but we manage & since I am retired it helps a lot.

John in AZ.

E mail [email protected]
 
Nancy and I work together here on our farm.

I could not make it without her help.

If we need to tow a tractor; then she gets the "free" ride to steer it.

She has driven all but one of our tractors; she has started all but two of our tractors.

<a href="http://youtu.be/TJK7afkm0i0">She does all the spraying</a> on the hay fields.

Nancy also posts and replies on a couple of these YT forums.

She does have a separate life with her horses.
 
We're partners going on 42 years. She's willing to help on many things if I ask but she's not "itching" to jump in and work up a good sweat cutting timber or stuff like that. I do ask for a helping hand every now and then and she's never refused. (She helped me with a remodel of a 2nd house we bought). Her expertise is gardening/landscaping. She likes to travel while I don't so she's been to numerous countries with my globe-trotting daughter (who is on her way back from a solo trip to New Zealand as I type this). My wife has been to Italy, Peru, Galopogos, Israel, Jordan, Turkey, Costa Rica while I stay home and watch the dogs. She'll grudgingly go skiing with me to Aspen and ends up enjoying it but I have to allow her a "spa" day when we're out there. She does all the bill-paying, savings while I do the long-term financial planning.

It's a good partnership, not without its ups and downs but the most important aspect of our marriage is compromise and knowing that we're in it together.
 
Both my first and second wife helped around the farm as needed. My second wife has had to quit helping much do to health issues. She did do a lot of the book work until last year. The diabetes is effecting her memory. So my Daughter-in-law does the farm books and I do my personal record keeping. My oldest two sons know all about my livestock and grain.

As for help around the farm now. I call a friend or my sons. I don't want her hurt doing something she should not be doing anymore.

As for the equipment. She knows most of the big stuff but would have zero idea on the little stuff. She or my sons would be able to figure it out pretty easy. I keep a file with all the equipment and parts values in it with the receipts on most of the items I have bought. Then anything I am repairing for resale has its own folder with all the records of what I gave for it and what has been spent on it. I have to do that for tax reasons anyway.

So we kind of live separate lives but not that separate.

P.S. I could not tell you how many cloths or jewelry she has. My Daughter and Daughter-in-laws could easily. They do lots of things together.
 
My Old woman does not do anything to help me period. What she does is get up at 5;30 every morning drives to the City and works her job, gets home after dark and fixes supper, six days a week. On her day off she cleans this shack while she watches football or Nascar. She would like to retire but she knows what she is doing now would be a lot easier than working with me. I can't say as I blame her, I am the biggest pr!ck that I have ever worked for....
 


My wife will help me if I ask her to, but I usually figure out a way to make do. When I had my own truck, she kept all the paper in order, and still does. She's not in very good health, but likes to ride on the motorcycle with me, in the summer.
 
animal,
either you're being very sarcastic or I can see why she wants away from you six days a week.
 
Wife stayed home and raised the kids while I worked in town and farmed on the side for 18 years. Could not get her to drive a tractor or a grain truck. Bought a business and we worked side by side for 23 years. Keep telling her that's why I married her because she was a good cook.
 
Warden will tell you that she is my helper. Which in fact I suppose she is, at very little. We have different ideas as to how things should be done. I don't want to argue over it,wasting time. So I let her assume the things she does are a great help and just do whatever I can. Like the rest of you Im sure that we are very creative and sometimes maybe not so careful. It has caught me a few times but so far god has watched out for this old fool.
 

I find this thread interesting although at 37 years old I have never been married. People ask me why and I tell them that everybody I knew that was married was miserable so why did I want to join them?...lol. With that being said my current gf of five years helps me out every once in a while. I planted 300lbs of potatoes and she helped me plant them and pick them up, I consider that pretty good. Most all of the other garden and farm stuff I do. Even the canning... I have a Ferguson TO-20 and I wanted to start going to some plowing matches. In the spring I found another nice TO-20 and another Ferguson plow. We thought we might go to plowing matches together. I bought the plow and paid half on the tractor. She has since lost interest in doing that so I just bought her half out. When I'm baling hay and stuff she will bring me a drink out in the field and she has helped me pick up square bales out of the field so that's pretty good too. I might keep her around another 5 years...lol
 
Nice video. I like your choice for music with it. Believe it or not, before I even scrolled down below the video, I thought, that's Randy Travis singing and sure enough when I looked, I was right.
 
I'll put it like this, I wish I had a whole crew who had as much common sense and the willingness to work and the ability to figure things out that my Wife has. For our entire 36 year plus marraige I have worked in the oilfield and have been gone more than half the time, years ago there was no reliable or affordable way to communicate, maybe get patched through to a HAM radio operator in the states for a 10 minute phone call once in 28 days, she was home alone, four children, and our baby daughter was severely handicapped, cattle to look after and the place to keep up. Many times in our life together I have been both thankful and ashamed of myself for what that woman has had to do both on her own and when helping me. That is why I try as hard as I can to make her life easier now days that we can afford it because she sure earned it. Thanks for posting this thread, I think I will call her right now and remind her how lucky I am.
 
Horses are her ONLY hobby/interest/concern.
If I don't do the most of the work involving her horses she gets pi$$ed.
I have so many interests it's like I have ADD.
I was forced to ask her for help 3 times in last 7 yrs on something I was working on.
She wasn't at all impressed with helping but did.
 
I think we sound like a lot of other couples on here. Wife did not grow up farming and so she often does not understand what the end result will be or why I need to do something. She loves to cut the yard and will drive the 8N if I really need her to, but all of the field tractors are too "scary and big" to even try. I'd love it if she would drive the grain truck but just the thought of using a clutch makes her need to lie down for a while. She will help with animal chores (unless it is castrating piglets because they yell too much) if I need and the other day even talked about how much fun she had working cattle. Please note that her job was to open the chute gates, hold the wormer bottle while I doused them, and hold the calves heads while I tagged them. It was still a great help. I can't complain - we share cooking 50/50, I never go to the grocery store or do the laundry, and the bills get taken care of. I also know without a doubt that she would rather die than let her eye wander.
 
For the most part yes-and no. When we married 25 yrs ago she literally helped me build our house. she pulled most of the wiring herself with coaching. We had kids and she tagged along to tractor shows for a few yrs. Now she hates tractors and thinks everything I have is useless junk. She won't drive anything or help with any "projects". The together part now is the finances since we are barely getting by. She holds that point against me for not "advancing" enough in my job field and mentions it often.
 
Works with me in the accounting practice...answers the phone and does pretty much all secretarial, out processes my work, does payroll. Works with me on the farm. Helps me repair equipment and tear down tractors for repairs. We've been together since we were kids. Five years ago she took a part time job 20 hours a week. I was worried something would happen to me and she would have no life.
 
My wife helps with all aspects of our farm, except paying the bills. She keeps the check books balanced with Quik Books.

We have been row croppers, now rent the land out.
We have raised broilers for nineteen years, sold that.
We have been in the motel business, built a new one and bought and re-modeled an older one for 9 years. Sold that. br>We have been in the cow-calf business. Still doing that
We owned and operated a real estate business for 6 years, sold that last year, but sweetie still sells there. Build a house or two per year for sale

The businesses above have been done in conjunction with each other at different times. Not all at once. Lol.

Through all of this we have been partners and worked these occupations together. It has been a good ride.

Now we take care of the cows and travel. Mess with some old tractors and do some wood -turning. Mostl important job is to be Nana and Papa. Couldn't have done it without her. Wouldn't have wanted to.

PS She can drive the tractors also.
 
Marilyn grew up milking cows and driving the baler so she's no stranger to farm work but I rarely ask her to help me anymore. She has enough going on already and I don't have livestock anymore so I usually don't need the help. Back when I farrowed she was a real whiz with a syringe giving pigs shots, being a foot shorter than me and much quicker with the hands. She was good at sorting cattle too, having been raised around cattle. One time we were trying to get a new mama cow in the barn when the cow charged Marilyn. She just calmly stepped aside like a matador and the cow went right on by. When the cow turned around she went up and over the gate like an athlete. LOL

She helped Me do a pull start only once. The pickup battery died so I pulled the pickup backwards out of the garage with the tractor with her steering the pickup. We stopped and then I told her to push in the clutch, put it in reverse and when I start pulling her slowly let the clutch out to start the engine. When the pickup starts, push the clutch in right away. Well I felt a tug and looked back there and here came the pickup, Fast! When it hit the tractor a three point arm went through the tailgate. She got out and went to the house. No words spoken. LOL
 
We celebrated 50 years last month. We've been a team right from the get-go, but with different bosses. She's the boss for the house and yard, I'm the boss for everything else, as long as she says it's OK. We both worked full time very demanding jobs our entire careers, raised three kids, and still made time for each other. And yes, she knows how to pull start a tractor, but I hate doing it so much I don't ask her, it's easier to figure out why it won't start and fix it.
 
I do it all by myself most the time ,,.we are a green acres marriage here ,. my sara LISA Douglas has not a clue as to how or why or when the farm enterprise must be worked .probably could nt do it anyway .but ,.. she refuses to learn to drive a manual shift,,.but she is a wonderfulgal all the same ..
 
Hahahaha I was told by my ex wife I loved the horses more than her. Come to think of it she was right, the horses are still here. Lol
 
Heck no, her job in town ended 2 years ago and she decided she would help me on the farm, we're coming up on our 31st anniversary and are joined at the hip. She helped check bins today, I climbed the ladders and she started and shut down the fans. The last 2 falls she's hauled most of the grain which sure makes my life easier.
 
My wife was born and raised CITY. Never wanted to be more than 10 minutes from a mall... she is now 99% country. Can do virtually everything here, from swinging hammers to tossing bales. Equipment operator and livestock wrestler. More "driven" than I. Hard, Hard, Hard worker. Cancer survivor and my inspiration.
In 14 months and 22 days (when I retire from the Fire Department) she will expand her list of "needs done" for me, and then will be right beside me doing them after her work day ends (with violent juveniles).
 
Lol, no. I only wish I owned the barn were I keep my horse! I take very good care of it for the owner. Iv worked in that barn since 1990, and the farm
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This one is my second. We are not actually married but been together nearly 20 years. I was a pipeliner opperator/foreman/redneck and she was upity city girl LMAO. And its been a blast. She didnt know Crap about nothing on the outside of the front door. But she can dress to the 9s, cook ,clean,and is an artist. I have converted her to the outside world. Lots of yard work. We also have and work a big garden.Even have her on the 135 Massey every now and again. I never ask for help on anything i figure out a way to get it done myself,but i help her do anything that needs done.Come to think about it i have actually spolied the crap out of her doing anything she wants. And she dont argue with me about all the intrest i have.
 
My wife and I are totally separate but she works just as hard as I do, maybe harder. When we got married 33 years ago she quit her job to help me on the farm. She was raised on a rice farm but had never been around livestock or hay equipment. After 2 years she decided it would be better if she went back to town to work. Now she takes care of everything inside the house and does all the shopping that I hate. I take care of everything outside and on the farm. If anything should happen to me on the farm she would have to depend on someone else to find me. She has an idea how much equipment I have but wouldn't know one of my cows if it stepped on her. I know where she works but wouldn't know one of her coworkers if I bumped into them. We like it that way.
 
(quoted from post at 23:28:00 01/11/15) One thing I've learned while dating horse women. They ALWAYS love their horses more than their men!!

Ben

My wife has a bumper sticker that reads:

"A woman needs 2 animals in her life, the horse of her dreams and a jacka$$ to pay for it"
 
(quoted from post at 04:46:02 01/12/15) Retired, no need for life insurance on either of us.

I assume after all your debts are paid you have enough to bury you and your wife? Not sure what retirement has to do with life insurance.
 
Some couples get along better without getting married. My late brother was married 5 times. He never took a girl on a date in school and was all county and all state in football. We've been married 61 years. Hal
 
I am very happy to hear that so many of you have a good partner. My son said he would help me do things, but not to drive those DAMN tractors. Years ago, I asked my ex-wife what she thought had been our number one problem and she said THOSE DAMN RED TRACTORS.
SDE
 
(quoted from post at 16:53:43 01/11/15) Some husbands and wife are partners. They do a lot together. Others are married and they each do their own thing. One post below shows a woman driving a tractor. Another post is about a family, and the wife is somewhat clueless as to what her husband has got going, in regards to their finances. I was thinking about this last Friday. I was going to start one of my tractors and then tow another to a different part of the shed. A two person job. Who do you ask? A spouse or do you call a friend?
Just curious
Steve

Don't know. I'll ask the next time I see her.
 

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