Some thoughts on the kid and his girl friend below!!

JD Seller · Dec 7, 2014

There where many things that I found interesting and down right sad in many of the responses I read from other people. Here are my thoughts after thinking about it for a while.

1) In this case I think Chris over reacted to the kid's question about how long it would take. Like I posted below, the kid may have just wanted to know if his girl friend should wait or come back later.

2) As for the kid telling Chris off. IF you confront some one with others around you rarely get a good result. I try to NEVER bring up negative things with others around. You have a much better chance of effecting positive change when the other person does not loose "face" in front of others.

3) As for the kid having his girl friend with him. I encouraged my sons to involve their girl friends in their work here on the farm. The goal is for the kids to have a lasting relationship with some one as his "mate". That means that the girl need to know what HIS life in about. I got to see several candidates that turn out to be bad choices. I also got to meet and know all of my daughters-in-law long before that relationship fully formed.

4) AS for Chris talking to the young fellow. It would not gain much of anything. Chris was already unhappy with the kid over other stuff. That made him react the way he did this time. So Chris seems to not really feel he did anything wrong. The kids had an encounter in front of his girl friend. HE can't go back without losing face. I am willing to bet that ALL of his friends now know about this too.

5) Chris may find it hard to get any other young people to work for him now. If the kid is very well like then others of his age will LISTEN to how he thinks he was treated. That will effect how they feel about Chris.

Example: There is a farmer to the north of me that just treated everyone younger than him as a DUMBA$$. He would berate them and call them names an all type of this stuff. He always paid top dollar wages. After just a few years he no longer could get ANYONE to help put his hay up for any hourly rate.

I am not saying Chris had this type of attitude but that kid's friends will know about it by now. With texting and face book things like this spread like wild fire. Look at how us old farts are talking about it MILES/STATES away from where it happened. LOL

6) A few of the posters boosted about how they got "even" for guys telling them off. One even got a guy fired from his job. That is a sad commentary on how some people think that is a correct response to just being told off.

That type of thinking is why many of the killings happen across the country. When one person thinks "getting even" for every little slight justifies wrong reactions.

I would like Chris and some of the others, to tell me what was wrong with bringing his girl friend with him for a job that was only for an hour or two??? I just don't see how it was wrong. IF he was working a regular job then yes that would be wrong but a few hours of casual labor is an entirely different thing.

Billy J Shafer · Dec 7, 2014

I think it was great that she came along. She might have even helped out.

Wile E · Dec 7, 2014

I got that guy fired for the following reasons:

1. Disrespectful to all others in the company.

2. Continuously having reckless behavior.
Being unsafe was the main part

3. Driving the company van like a jackarse.
Also in 3 years getting 3 fender benders.

4. And.....being very unproductive and NOT doing what was asked in his job.

In short I was the only one with a plan of action to get rid of a trainwreck of an employee.

Billy J Shafer · Dec 7, 2014

Sounds like the guy. That was just fired where I work.

Dave H (MI) · Dec 7, 2014

I was 15 years old when I formally arranged with my friend of many years that she would be my steady girlfriend. After that there were very few places where she did not accompany me and wait for me if necessary. Only when I punched in at my regular job or similar did we spend a lot of time apart. It's been a few decades and nothing much has changed in that regard. She works with me in my practice and at the farm. Has a part time job so she gets her own paycheck once a week. It is the way things sometimes go with young folk. You won't get too far fighting hormones and nature. Just sayin.

Dave H (MI) · Dec 7, 2014

P.S. I have two daughters. Teenage girls can be very entertaining at conversation. I would let the boy do his work and chat with the girl while supervising him. If ANYONE can sort out his mischief, it will be her. Get her on your side.

Spook · Dec 7, 2014

And you never said anything to his face, did you?

The guy might have had problems, but you didn't do anything to help , just connived to get him fired.

But you probably are a real upstanding "Christian ", Right??

Spook · Dec 7, 2014

Dinner with the old fart you have little relationship with, or time with 17 yr old girlfriend ?

If you have to think about this, you need to make sure you still have a pulse.

RusselAZ · Dec 7, 2014

I like your #1 and #2 responses. someone missed a wonderful opportunity to make good memories! Sure brought back some good memories for me.

I was lucky to marry an FFA sweetheart. If you can't have humor about all the things that will happen working together around a farm it is time for a new girl. Both my parents loved her. Once she figured out my Dad's sense of humor they could tease each other endlessly.

Picture of Mom, Sue and Dad. I was looking for the one of her milking but didn't find it.

Maxgussam · Dec 7, 2014

(quoted from post at 10:58:47 12/07/14) There where many things that I found interesting and down right sad in many of the responses I read from other people. Here are my thoughts after thinking about it for a while.

1) In this case I think Chris over reacted to the kid's question about how long it would take. Like I posted below, the kid may have just wanted to know if his girl friend should wait or come back later.

2) As for the kid telling Chris off. IF you confront some one with others around you rarely get a good result. I try to NEVER bring up negative things with others around. You have a much better chance of effecting positive change when the other person does not loose "face" in front of others.

3) As for the kid having his girl friend with him. I encouraged my sons to involve their girl friends in their work here on the farm. The goal is for the kids to have a lasting relationship with some one as his "mate". That means that the girl need to know what HIS life in about. I got to see several candidates that turn out to be bad choices. I also got to meet and know all of my daughters-in-law long before that relationship fully formed.

4) AS for Chris talking to the young fellow. It would not gain much of anything. Chris was already unhappy with the kid over other stuff. That made him react the way he did this time. So Chris seems to not really feel he did anything wrong. The kids had an encounter in front of his girl friend. HE can't go back without losing face. I am willing to bet that ALL of his friends now know about this too.

5) Chris may find it hard to get any other young people to work for him now. If the kid is very well like then others of his age will LISTEN to how he thinks he was treated. That will effect how they feel about Chris.

Example: There is a farmer to the north of me that just treated everyone younger than him as a DUMBA$$. He would berate them and call them names an all type of this stuff. He always paid top dollar wages. After just a few years he no longer could get ANYONE to help put his hay up for any hourly rate.

I am not saying Chris had this type of attitude but that kid's friends will know about it by now. With texting and face book things like this spread like wild fire. Look at how us old farts are talking about it MILES/STATES away from where it happened. LOL

6) A few of the posters boosted about how they got "even" for guys telling them off. One even got a guy fired from his job. That is a sad commentary on how some people think that is a correct response to just being told off.

That type of thinking is why many of the killings happen across the country. When one person thinks "getting even" for every little slight justifies wrong reactions.

I would like Chris and some of the others, to tell me what was wrong with bringing his girl friend with him for a job that was only for an hour or two??? I just don't see how it was wrong. IF he was working a regular job then yes that would be wrong but a few hours of casual labor is an entirely different thing.

You are a wise and intelligent man.
Thank you for this reply!
I believe that it will help me in my dealings with younger people. I hope that it will be beneficial to others as well.

Dave H (MI) · Dec 7, 2014

That's a different kid. CHRIS had the kid hauling coal and cutting grass. JERRY had the kid who wouldn't come to dinner with the older relative who he barely knew.

Point well taken though! I have a very strong pulse.

2underage · Dec 7, 2014

My wife of 59 years still goes with me nearly everywhere I go. In fact if I do go some place without her the first question is "where is Pat"?
No, she did not go with me when I had a job but she was there anytime it was the correct thing to do. I believe we all have over reacted but I try to hold my tongue and I would give that advice to all. I like your comment JD Seller.

Wile E · Dec 7, 2014

Yes,
I talked to him, others told him "Hey, ...Do not drive the hi-lo like a race car" "Do not drive over parking blocks with the company truck"

The guy had several chances for improvement.

Sometimes people have to be fired to prevent the company from being sued, what if he ran someone over with the hi-lo or caused a serious accident with a company truck?

Oh, did I mention that he did little or nothing for the paycheck he received. He should have been fired for not doing his job. Part of being the company driver he was supposed to take out the garbage and mop the floors once a week.....he refused to do this.

Chris English · Dec 7, 2014

Hi JD
Let me start by saying yes I over reacted but heres some facts. I said what I said in my front yard between the lad and myself. The girlfreind was in the car. As I mentioned before, he had done a great job the summer before but this year he had his own car and somtime while he was mowing the girlfreind would show up and before long he would take off. Never happened when his Mom would come and pick him up.
Also I paid him 15$ an hour and expected him to act like a independent contractor. He came to me from someone paying half that and treated him like a dummy. I didnt intend to be a mentor, I just wanted someone to mow the yard.
There has already been a "I think im pregnant" scare and other reports that this young lady has not been real beneficial to the lad. He thinks he wants to go in the service, well fathering a child at 17 will not help with that.
So once more i'll admit I didnt handle this quite right, but i'm moving on. I hope you all do to.

JD Seller · Dec 7, 2014

Chris I did not mean to pick on you about this. Dealing with any one ,young or old, is a life time learning cure. I know it is easier to look back with 20/20 hindsight on how we all would do thing differently.

Have a good day/week.

Let the young fellow learn how life is on his own. We can only hope that the younger people have learned well enough to survive the pitfalls of being young and knowing all.

FLOLDFORD · Dec 7, 2014

JD. I told my father some years ago that at 18 I had all the answers to all the questions about life and 10 years later I had a whole lot more questions than answers. Such is life we learn from our mistakes and we move own. If we don't life gets a lot harder.

Greg K · Dec 7, 2014

Isn't telling someone off just getting even for them disappointing you? There was no real problem with bringing the girlfriend in my book.

David G · Dec 7, 2014

Did I miss something?

paul · Dec 7, 2014

Its still there, currently mid way down page 2 here.

Tough thing to judge, almost have to be there to really get a handle on how the deal went. I could make a case for either side, depending on inflection and what really was said and how and when.

Sounds like the working relationship had run its course and just kinda how things are there.

That thread and the one below it on youth - tough time of life for folks, you are still a kid but you are told to grow up but treated like a kid but supposed to make some big decisions affecting the rest of your life but you got a lot of new stuff coming at you with responsibilities and the opposite gender making life complicated/ interesting all at once and so on....

Hard to change from being a kid to being a adult and switch all your thinking around and handle it gracefully. Some take longer to do that, even if a good kid underneath.

I'd try to give the kids in those two threads a little slack; but I wasn't there and so much depends on just how it plays out, maybe it wasn't the time to allow slack either, and the kiss off of the lawn mower kid would bother me for sure.....

Paul

jimg.allentown · Dec 7, 2014

Let me see....2400lbs of coal in 40lb bags. That figures out to 60 bags. Two guys at it should take maybe an hour to get it all unloaded and put away.
1) seems a fair question to ask how long the job is expected to take.
2) Since WHEN is showing up early a BAD thing???? That shows me ambition, dedication, and a sense of responsibility.
3) Bringing the girlfriend... what in the world is wrong with that? Don't most men bring their wives or sweethearts with them from time to time?
4) If there was an issue with last summer, it should have been dealt with THEN, not thrown in the kid's face in front of his girl.

My opinion: Chris behaved inappropriately. The kid may have reacted badly, BUT, he is a 17 year old KID! He lacks the maturity and judgment of an older man.

DaninKansas · Dec 8, 2014

Agreed. You call a guy for an hours work for $15 in the middle of the day and then b%$#$ him out for asking how long it will take? The "kid" spent half that $15 just getting there in gas.

Some thoughts on the kid and his girl friend below!!

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