Finally

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

Well, I posted last fall that I had to redo the plunger on my JD 346 square baler. This past winter life threw my a huge curve ball. My wife who I have been with for 12 years, 9 years married took a new job, first day there she met a 55 year old man who is a RN, she was 36, ended up she had an affair with this twice divorced looser. She went and got a order of protection on me based on lies, took my daughter from me and moved into the same apartment complex as her boyfriend. I've never felt so much grief. I found in the house that she was diagnosed with depression for years, before and after the birth of my daughter. I'm hoping for at least 50/50 custody of my daughter, the wife has tempory full custody right now. I finally got the baler put back together in July and am trying to to get hay done! Thanks all.

MarkWV · Aug 8, 2014

Jay
my heart goes out to you, best luck in custody hearings. Keep us posted, sometimes you just to vent, we are good at listening

lee little · Aug 8, 2014

Praying for you and your daughter. There is nothing better than a good woman, nothing worse than a bad one.

mab570diesel · Aug 8, 2014

Lee amen to that!Jay hate to see that happen to anyone,women can make you feel great or tear your heart.I hope you can get custody I hate to see it when they take that route of trying to not let you see your kids,keep your head up,don't do anything that will hurt your custody battle and get that hay cut! Hope all turns out well for you.

dcarp · Aug 8, 2014

Best of luck with your situation. Never stop letting your daughter know that you love her.

Anonymous-0 · Aug 8, 2014

What a wench make sure you get lawyer that specializes in that sort of thing I have daughter too I hope you get some type of custody.

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

Here's my little girl, thanks for all the kind thoughts. This is the worse time of my life.

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

Sorry all, pics were from my iPhone so prolly not the right way for computers.

JD Seller · Aug 8, 2014

YOU need a real good lawyer!!!!

Try to keep the daughter out of it!!!

Do not speak ill about your ex-wife around your daughter either.

Other than that I wish you well and try to gain enough enjoyment playing with your "toys" to bring some happiness in your life.

ShadetreeRet · Aug 8, 2014

Jay, I had no idea! I think the only thing worse than losing a mate in death is losing one in that way, because you still have to deal with it. What really blows me away is the fact that they will leave someone who is trusting and hardworking and take up with a looser as you described. I will think of you and your daughter in my prayers.

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

That is what I have read and been
Told, the grief is right next to death! Thank you!

casenut1 · Aug 8, 2014

Hang in there , Life will get better.

BrentinIA · Aug 8, 2014

Been there and done that and IT IS AWFUL......but take it from me, and someone who told me this when I was going through it....NO MATTER how bad it gets for you - IT WILL get better and YOU WILL be a better person with a bright future. I know you probably feel lower than low could possibly be, I know I did, but 15 years later I still have a couple great kids and my life is way better than I ever thought it could be. Keep on plugging away and keep your chin up....we are praying for you and know it will be ok in the end.

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

I hope so, thank you so much for your words!

Billy NY · Aug 8, 2014

This sort of thing is just rampant, seen it so many times, lived it too. I have a long time friend who just went through this with his 2 daughters, no one else was involved, neither of them, but she with a bitter agenda and a six figure salary, we are talking textbook, methodical, calculating, high drama, scornful, spiteful, and sour beyond comprehension, its hard to believe any human is so capable of such rotten, underhanded wretchedness such as she unleashed for no reason at all, he saw she was nuts, went for separation, as she was trying to incite him, agitate him to discredit him use it for her gain, but he never once let her get to him, her parents are definitely nuts, I know all of them, but this was underlying, until a few years after their daughters were born. He was hopeful of 50/50 custody, but with her judge intimidating, vicious and unethical attorney, with all the waste, she emptied him of his retirement, fighting all of this, good 20 years of saving, up in flames. She will never have to worry about money, he and I were cutting wood frantically last fall early winter to keep heat in his home, the bitter nature of these situations is hard to comprehend, people being rotten to each other.

Keep your wits about you and be extremely careful with what you do, as well as retaining the right attorney, you will need a skilled one.

Use care and discretion on public forums.

Take care and take care of that little girl, its not going to be easy for any of you.

Sorry to hear of this, wish you the best and hope resolution finds its way to you.

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

Thanks Billy,

JayinNY · Aug 8, 2014

Something I read.

howdy1960 · Aug 8, 2014

Jay, very sorry to hear of the greif your are having in your life. I am another that has been there but went through it close to 30 years ago. A few years ago I found out that my 2nd born daughter wasn't of my blood (her mother A+, myself A+, daughter O- ), however I love her as much today as I did the day she was born. The mother told 3rd born child (son) there's a 35% chance I'm not the father as well.

Larry NEIL · Aug 9, 2014

Jay, my prayers go out for you and your daughter, as was said, always let your daughter know how much you love her.
I sure hope this works out for you.
Larry

jennifer408 · Aug 9, 2014

(quoted from post at 18:22:39 08/08/14) I found in the house that she was diagnosed with depression for years, before and after the birth of my daughter.

12 years with her and you had no idea ? i do feel for you and i hope that you will get to see your daughter when ever you want and be every part of her life as she grows and learns all of life's experiences. you know, but it makes me wonder how you could have let something like that happen, i mean did you not pay attention at all ?
i am in a relationship that i would leave in a heartbeat, if there was any way possible, but at least he listens enough to me to acknowledge that. come on lotto ticket, don't let me down... again...

ray hofstetter · Aug 9, 2014

Hang in there Jay, we're thinking about you.
As far as your phone, I found if you take the pic...go to photo editor.....spin the photo around - even if it looks right, spin it around until it looks right AGAIN... it should post right. Try it...

FBH44 · Aug 9, 2014

well since you ask, can I give some free advice? Ditch those pictures of your daughter on a big old tractor - the wife's lawyer willmake a big deal about the danger involved, the hazard you are exposing her to.... trust me.

Pitch · Aug 9, 2014

Do not take this lieing down. Right f"ing now go to your lawyer. Get that order of protection lifted do not take no for an answer. I hope that you did noting to warrant that order. Do not raise your voice,do not slam a door,do not squeal a tire. Do not mention your hurt and sense of betrayal.
Do not let that steal your daughter.
You need to be very legally aggressive,do not use the guy that did your real estate. Talk to people find a pitbull who will protect your rights.

Put aside your feelings for her, be they love hate or whatever. She and her actions are immaterial right now. Your duty and focus needs to be on your kid. Make sure your lawyer is in on the selection of the girls law guardian.

Sean Feeney · Aug 9, 2014

Keep your cool and chin up! things will work out.
Sean

Anonymous-0 · Aug 9, 2014

I wouldn't get too worked up about that order of protection. It is standard procedure in a pending divorce. It happened to me but I hadn't done anything to warrant it. Follow the advice others have given. Get a good lawyer and make sure he does everything he should for you. You may have a friend who has gone through this. If so, lean on him for good advice. Stay close to your daughter and don"t talk bad about her mother in front of her. It may be in your best interest to pay extra in the settlement just to get this over as soon as possible. Lawyers love a drawn out fight because it means more money for them. Don't be a tightwad but don't be a push-over either. And like my lawyer said to me after the initial hearing and I thought I was really goning to be taken to the cleaners, this won't be as significant of an event in 5 years as you think it is now. I agree with you that this may be worse than the agony of a death of a friend because the grief will last much longer. But it may all work out in that afterwards you may end up with a much better woman than what you had in your wife.

larry@stinescorner · Aug 10, 2014

just read your post late,so sorry to hear the news,,,,we have been friends on this site for a long time,it is sad to hear a friend in trouble,wish I could help,but I just dont know what to say,hang in there and keep in touch here.

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