Men And Women Comparisons

Got this in an email today - Funny !!!!


Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone,
read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ....
and to the men who will enjoy reading it

A lot of guys are not allowed to think this is funny. LOL

This is just a superficial explanation of the psychological differences between men and women. Now if I could only understand why it's significant!

A biker sees a bus full of nuns crash and catch fire. Braving the flames he rescues all of the nuns. After it all over he rides home and get a beer and thinks about what happened. Suddenly and angle appears and says, God was watching and is pleased. He says you may have one wish. The biker thinks it over and says, I want a bridge from CA to Hawaii. The angels says wait a second, disappears and then returns. He says God wants you to understand the logistics of a bridge like taht and ask if you can't think of anything else. The bikers thinks it over and says, "I want to understand women". The angle disappears again, comes back and says God want to know, 2 or 4 lane?

Rick

is one of them

I'm the other one!

A lot of guys are not allowed to believe that it is true!!
LOL.....Sam
By the way, I fit all the facts!

That was great and true! I think I saw my reflection a few--okay, quite a few times.

Larry

That is goood.

My wife would drive thirty miles to save a nickle. She never did understand me washing parts in the dish washer.I thought that is what I bought it for.

I had seen a funny, that said "Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other." SDE

My wife came up with some idea that women have a more comprehensive thought process than men. She claims men are limited to 3 main thought elements food-survival-reproduction while I maybe think she said it was proven women have at least 14 which are blah, blah,blah, something or another.
Anyway, I must admit, the pork roast she has in the oven smells mighty good.

A woman's version of creation--God created all the creatures, then created Man and thought, "I can do better than that," then created Woman.

A man's version of creation--God created all the creatures, then created Man, then rested. He then created Woman, and all creation, nor man, nor God, has rested ever since.