Had to visit my first wife before chores this morning.

The postings yesterday about pictures of our wives and how long we have been married, made me think about Sherri (first wife) all night long. SO I got up earlier than usual so I would have some extra time. I went up to the family cemetery and just visited with her for a while. It has been 17 years since she has gone but it still is with me just like it happened yesterday.

She was born just one mile west of here. Her mother and mine where life long best friends. She was two weeks older than me. We where together since we both shared the same play pen and baby buggy. We set together on the bus from day one. I was told by my mother to not let anything happen to Sherri. Nothing ever did during school. I would wait by the girl's bathroom for her to come back out and would then walk her to her class if we did not share it.

Never dated anyone else and she was my first kiss. Never even danced with another woman until our wedding and her Mother danced with me.

We raised five kids together. Fought that damned cancer together for almost ten years before it won.

Left me with children age 5,13,16,18, and 30. I would not have stayed here if it had not been for them. My life was very empty for a good while.

My current wife was an old friend's "little" sister. When she heard that my wife passed she moved close to us and helped me with the kids. After two years it finally clicked that she had me tagged and bagged. LMAO I asked her to marry me. My kids call her Mother and their birth mother Mom.

Amanda (second wife) told me she fell for me forty years ago when I visited her family with her brother. I laugh at her for saying that. She would have only been six years old at the time. YES,guys I married a younger woman. She is 16 years younger than me.

I have been very lucky to have had the good fortune to have two very good women in my life. God has a plan even though it is not clear to us.

Give your wife or husband a good hug and a kiss before the daily issues of life take over today. You may not get to do it again so GRAB the chance while you can.

HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!

Thanks JD. Wonderful story. I tell my wife everyday I love her. I was nothing before her and am very certain I could not make a life without her.

Wonderful story.Thanks for shareing.

JD, I recall the surprise visit you told us about quite some time ago, where they had no idea you would be home around chistmas, while in uniform, refresh our memories if you care to, as that had to be a moment which words just can't really describe. I'm a total stranger but even with all the clutter upstairs in my head, that was something that remained clear in my memory for some reason.

JD Seller,
Sometimes your postings tear at my heart strings. It's all good though. I am glad everything worked out for you and your family. You definitely deserve it.
Kow Farmer (Kurt)

Made me cry, JD. Sorry you lost your first wife -glad that life was good with her. And glad you are blessed with a another good marriage with your current wife.

Even though I live a couple of states to the East of Iowa I always did look at you farmers and most people out there as just of bunch of good o'l all American type people. The type of folks you would like to have as neighbors and friends. I have spent a little time in Iowa and I know theres alot of people out there such as yourself.

I went through sort of the same thing. My wife died at 40 and I was 41. She fought cancer for 4 years. My kids were 9 and 13 and now 25 and 29. Now both of them just married in the last 1 & 1 1/2 years and my first grandchild was born on Saturday morning. Wish she could have seen them grow up. JD Seller aren't you from eastern/east central Iowa?? I know you have responded to many of my mechanical questions. andy

JD, you have my sympathy and support. Ten years after losing my daughter I still visit her grave at least twice a month just to somehow remind her I haven't forgotten her and that Marilyn and I will keep her daughters safe for her.

I'm attachig a link to an article written by Brenda Houts and published on Dr Val Farmer's website in September of 2003. It's very good reading for reinforcement to those who are going through the greiving process and for those who haven't lost a close loved one but need to know what to say to a greiving person. Her words are so very true. Jim
Dr Val Farmer

Garth Brooks' 'If Tomorrow Never Comes' is good listening. Jim

HUG !

July 19th 2009 my wife went to Jesus after five and a half year battle with breast cancer. Nine days short of our 47th wedding anniversey.

I miss Her more than words can say, every day. I was a month shy of 19 and she was a month and a few days shy of 18 when we got married in 1961. She was the glue that kept both of our familys together...

JD,

Thank you for that touching story. I read a book one time where the author said "Marriage is honorable in all...". Your marriage(s) remind us of how sacred our wives are.

Tom in TN

JD, your story is truly moving... As are the others shared here. There are a bunch of good people on this board, who have lived and loved.

My wife is 63, and we"re nearing two years in our battle with cancer too. Surgery, and a year of nasty Chemo, but they think they got it in time, and she"s clear!

I met her in the fall of "67, as a college freshman - her: Married in "70, 3 children, 7 grandchildren. Set to celebrate 43 rd in April. Own and operate the farm where I grew up. In the process of disposing of her parent"s property, home and farm. So, been there, done that too. Has been a good life with her. Life has a way of giving us some hard stretches, along with the good times, but that"s when you have to pull together and support each other.

Do not forget "The Dance". That song makes me reflect on things every time I hear it.

JD I am glad things have worked out for you, that was a very moving story about your life. Stan

life is good,,if you don't let it get you down.Sounds like you won.Your a good man.

JD I share your pain. I met my wife's family through her grandfather whom I went to church with. When I first met them she was 9, I was 18. She told me later that she fell for me then. I went about my life and almost got married, but the girl returned the ring. Later I saw this young girl and realized that she was "all grown up" so I asked her out. We married about a year later, she was 18, I was 27. We raised three children, managed as best we could with what life threw at us. She was diabetic for several years prior to her death, and I honestly believe that the doctors just neglected to check for anything else when her diabetes became unmanageable. By the time they found cancer it was too late. She died March 27, 2010, just ten days after her 62nd birthday. We were married 43 and a half years. I still walk in the house and look for her, or I will be reading the paper and start to mention something to her. She used to step out on the porch when I was mowing the yard and wave occasionally, I still look up when I am mowing and expect to see her standing there. No, you never really get over the loss, but life must go
on. Sounds like you recovered well. I am now 74, I doubt if I will even look for another.

My mom was 15 years younger than my dad. I never knew for sure what happened to his first wife. They had a daughter together and she was born in 1918. The daughter was killed at a railroad crossing along with three other young people in 1934. I never knew where she was buried. He and my mom had 3 chilren and I was the youngest born in 1933. She was 23 and he was 38 when they married. He died in 1970 and she died in 1994. She was the second oldest of 13 kids. Her baby sister just turned 85 and is the is the only one alive. My nephew has the home they bought when they left the farm. Hal

Great story JD, thank you for sharing it with us

i lost my first wife in 1994 of ovarian cancer. she was 41. she left me 4 children aged 3 thru 14. she was a stay at home mom. i worked lots of overtime in a sawmmill to make it happen. when kate died i was lost. i found out our first easter without her you had to actually take the ham out of the can before you cook it. i still remember the sound it made and the mess. a few years later i met a woman with 2 kids. after we got married we moved into her house as it was larger. my new wife put pictures of my kids mom up in the hallway along side all the school pictures. i'm not going to tell you it was easy blending our families. there were times.... however now you would never know the kids weren't blood. my children have all started having kids. i would give anything for kate to see her grandchildren. while life is good for me, it just never goes away. i have had 2 good women in my life. i am indeed blessed

My sympathy to you and my thanks for your courage to share your story with us. I have a red headed Irish temper and sometimes I have been known to sweat small things. Thanks for the reminder to slow down and tell my wife I love her. Can't imagine a day without her.

I hope you had life insurance on your wife.
Just last week our insurance company finally approved my wife for a policy. $100,000 isnt much in the long term, but it will pay off the house and pay for a funeral. The policy my wife has is a 20 year term.

Bless your hearts! And I mean that. Don"t know what its like to lose the love of your life.

Thanks for sharing J.D. I too lost my wife after her 30 yr battle with Multiple Sclerosis seven years ago. She did get to hold our first grandchild and would have made a great grandma (now 6 grandkids). Our cemetary is 5 miles away,halfway between my farms. Everytime I travel between farms,I stop and visit her,also maintain the annual flower bed I planted there.
Only girl I ever dated,first kiss and dance too.

I live about a 1/2 mile from my first wife.Sometimes I stop. this Dec.21 it will have been 20 yrs. I know what you mean.
Ron

My wife does not read many posts on the site,but,,,,,,as soon as she spots your name,she reads the posts and says that is one nice guy! She just read your post and loved it.

As usual, what you relate and share with us is superb! Thank You.

Link
Christmas Surprise

All great stories! Here's mine:
I met Ruth on a "blind Date" engineered by a man i worked with, in 1950.
Things were arranged to meet at a local bar/restaurant, so on the appointed evening, we did just that!
Well, as soon as i saw her, i knew my single days would not last long. My heart was beating at 90 MPH! We had some drinks, and went to my home to talk. I had to meet her family, and her dad was strict! Her mother was pleasant. We dated for almost a year, then married in 1950.
We bought the house we are still living in. Found we couldn't have our own kids, so we adopted 3 sons. One boy died at age 3, but the other two are still living. We now have 3 Great Grand-children, off-spring of our Grand-daughter.
Had a lot of wonderful years together, but Ruth is sick, from smoking disease. She lost sight in one eye, which stopped her driving, and arthritis is slowing her down. I hate the tobacco companies, for poisoning folks with their advertising-telling susceptible folks of how good cigs were, how they made folks look so great and smart-all lies.
But--i'm sticking to our vows! I'm staying right here at home. the Guvment will probably toss me out if i miss something i should do and didn't! I'll be 89 next September, but i ain't quitting! I'll be here for Ruth as long as i can. I know either of our Sons will take her in, if need be, so i don't worry about it. Ruth don't get around very good, but she still gets the "Meals on Wheels" ready at supper time.
Meals on Wheels food is fairly good. and its free! Only complaint is the vegetables! They don't cook them the right way. they pass them over a flame and say they are cooked-but, they ain't! And, the red stuff they put on the meat ain't ketchup! Ain't figgered it out yet as to its make-up. But, we ain't starving! Time will come, the big kahuna will probably stop the free hand-outs to whitey! End of rant!