What's YOUR most redneck moment?

One day, I decided to go to town. I had to fill my wife's Taurus, so I hopped in it. I met several people on the gravel road, then the highwayinto town. Several people in town also pointed, waved and honked. When I got to the stop sign at the town square, I found out why: The stupid barn cats had apparently decided to go to town, too. When I stopped, she came sliding down the windshield.

The first thing we built when we got the place was an outhouse. It stood out like a sore thumb on top of a bald hill. My brother begged me to "put a chimney or antennae on it" so people were asking him what it was. I told him to tell them it was what it was - an outhouse, and tell them such. Of course, me being me - I wrapped the thing in Pink Owens-Corning housewrap, so it practically glowed in the dark....

A couple of years ago, our Jersey milk cow gave us a nice, gentle heifer. I started her training early, and had her on a leash at only 3 days old. From then on, she was hooked. I used to get honks, waves, and laughs when people would see me walking my "dog" down the road.

Brother wasn't REAL impressed about the dog, either.....

The first time it really filled up the pond to a depth of about two feet. We surmised that we had a good thing going if we only had a boat. We improvised by borrowing our mother's best washtub and dragging it out to the "lake". The only problem was whether or not it would be seaworthy. Being of good common redneck sense, we decided to send it out for a test run before we dared risk it.

However, a test run is no good without a test pilot. We convinced our little sister to volunteer for the boatride of her life. The test was a failure. Upon capsizing the boat, little sister found out just how DEEP years of hogwallowing mud and pig fertilizer can be!

Final scene was me dragging the dirty, stinking "boat" back to the house and my brother dragging the dirty, stinking, screaming little sister behind me. (I was impressed that a six-year old could retain that many curse words in such a little brain!)

After recuperating from the corporal punishment, big brother and I immensely enjoyed retelling the adventure at every family reunion. To this day, however, little sister has never seen the humor of it at all.

Digging a water line trench to the house with an M Farmall and a middle buster. The ruts in the yard lasted for years.

I believe 3 dollar gas is too good for a lawnmower, so the last couple of years I"ve run a temporary hot wire around the house and turn the cows on it. Mow, weedeat and fertilize in one operation. Had people stopping to take photos.

1) I had only been farming two years and decided to raise some soybeans. I needed to store them until after the first of the year as the price was a dollar a bushel more. Up to then I had only raised corn and picked it. So all I had was round wire corn cribs to hold my grain. Money was real tight too. I did have a bunch of straw we had baled. So I stacked straw around the inside of one of the corn cribs. I was using a chain elevator to put the soybeans into the crib. So I pulled a wagon load of straw next to the elevator. I was inside the crib stacking the bales while the wife was unloading the soybeans. When ever the soybeans got close to the top of a row of bales the wife would run up straw bales instead of soybeans. I bet half the neighbors drove by several times trying to figure out what we where doing. It worked and we got over 800 bushels in the crib. So that was $800 more income. I did wrap plastic around the outside to keep the straw dry. I used it for bedding.

2) I was raising a lot of hogs at the time. I needed a way to haul them around. Pickups where high priced and big cars where not. So I bought a Ford LTD station wagon for $500. I took all the back seats and interior out of it. I took a 3/4 piece of plywood and made a wall behind the front seats. I found some old wrecked grocery carts. I cut pieces out of them to cover the windows on the inside. So in the summer you could roll down the windows and the hogs could not get out. I took the rear tailgate/door off and made a steel stock gate out of a couple of farrowing grate sides. I made a small loading chute that we hauled on the luggage rack on the top. We could haul ten fat hogs to town in it. We used that old station wagon for 4-5 years. It hauled every hog we bought or sold during that time. We got a lot of funny looks. Now remember this was in the early 1980s. No one had heard of kid car seats. My kids loved to ride in the back of the old station wagon with the windows down. They would squeal like real pigs if we happened to stop at a stop sign or light where other cars would be around. LOL That really got people looking.

Those are about the only two I will admit to actually doing. I have done many more but I will plead the 5th on anything to do with any of them. LMAO.

1953 IHC WD9, Cab 1954 IHC pickup. Pickup heater fan in top of cab. Back door off of a old packard car. Up dated to a 836, 3688, and then a 7110. Life was good.

I don't know about redneck, up north here we call this cowboy ingenuity. I guess this would be a cowboy canoe.

Back in the mid-sixties a farmer who lived south of me a few miles went to town on saturday morning and bought a new Mercury, drove it to the sale barn, bought a couple of calves, threw them in the back seat and took them home. This fella was well off financially but he didn't look like it. Jim

As far as things I've done personally, I personally don't really consider it my my most redneck moment but about 18 years ago I was given an old bus to use for storage. I bought several different colors of green and tan paint and gave it a camoflage paint job. When my sister saw it her exact words were "Now that's the most redneck thing I've ever seen you do.". Several weeks later she came over to the house and I asked her where my bus was. She stood in the drive and looked for 5 minutes before I showed her where I had parked it in amongst a cedar thicket. Told her that was exactly why it was camoflagued....

• Bambi 'doesn't act like a goat'

I'm saying nothing! Sam

Wouldn't ya know, Mom and Dad are out of town, and have left me (age 12) and Herman (hired man) in charge.

Me and Herman try to get the IH truck started, no luck (in retrospect, should have pull started the truck with the Hudson- but presence of large and agitated Trooper kind of pushed the situation to the next level, without benefit of a calm assessment of the alternatives). So we go out in his '46 Hudson business coupe (no back seat), and end up hauling them home, 2 at a time, with me back there with them, to keep them from leaping over the seat on top of him. Took about 10 trips, and the Troopers were noticeably testy and smelly (and sun was coming up) by the time we got done.

Cleanup the next morning was fairly straightforward- just flood the area with water until most of the chunks were out. Herman should have been outraged, but was not- which suited me fine.

Only hope was some weed leaves.

Folks, I'm here to tell you, DON'T use leaves from the Velvet Leaf plant ! ( Some people call 'em Piemockers. )

Seemed like the right thing to do as them leaves are soft as a horses' nose.

But there is a powerful somethun on them leaves that WILL set you on fire .

About 2 miles down the road the arm on the carb broke off and we had no trottle.

I called back to the shop and told the boss we needed a tow back to the shop. He said it would be a few minutes as everyone was in the middle of something.

I crawled up under the hood onto the fender told the other guy I would run the trottle with my pliers. You drive.

Should have seen the look on the other guys faces when we pulled back into the shop.

Gary

my most recent is my Christmas pumpkins,wife didnt complain,but didnt say much either,,,

Tim

I didn't see anything to get excited about the next morning when the season opened, so the next afternoon about 4pm I thought I'd see if that big sucker would show up again and climbed onto the roof of our house with my rifle.

Normally, maybe four vehicles per hour pass our house, but just during that hour or so I was sitting on top of the house with my rifle I swear half the county drove past, and I'm still trying to live it down. The buck never did show.

A local mortician who goes to our church was one of them. For several years, every time I'd see him he'd give me a hard time all over again. Then someone tipped me off that the mortician has a swivel office chair in his favorite tree stand so that kinda leveled the field.

He had single 1" hole in two window screens on our house. He could poke the .22 through it to shoot rats that ran around outside our grain bins and corncrib.

FIL had an old Vega station wagon, with the roof rack, with careful stacking he could get 10 bales of hay on top and inside (tailgate down) - just enough for a single feeding of his cattle 5 miles up the road and he didn't have to start his gas guzzling pickup.