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OT - Was I rude?

R

Royse

Well-known Member
Relative got married today. He is 40 years old and this was his first marriage.
I put on a suit and drove 2 1/2 hours to get there (as did many others) to attend his wedding and reception.
After the wedding the wedding party got on a party bus and headed out to the reception hall.
10 minutes after the reception was supposed to start, the bus pulled in picked up a few more people and left again.
The message given to the waiting guests was "The wedding party will be here in about an hour. The bus is taking them bar hopping."
I didn't wait. I left and drove the 2 1/2 hours back home.
 
(quoted from post at 21:49:42 09/15/12) Relative got married today. He is 40 years old and this was his first marriage.
I put on a suit and drove 2 1/2 hours to get there (as did many others) to attend his wedding and reception.
After the wedding the wedding party got on a party bus and headed out to the reception hall.
10 minutes after the reception was supposed to start, the bus pulled in picked up a few more people and left again.
The message given to the waiting guests was "The wedding party will be here in about an hour. The bus is taking them bar hopping."
I didn't wait. I left and drove the 2 1/2 hours back home.
Click to expand...
ope! I would have done the same.
 
Wow that was rude! Were they feeding the people waiting at the reception hall, or was everyone expected to just "hang out" until they came back?
I'd have scrammed too!
 
Not only were they not feeding people, there wasn't even tea, coffee or water to drink!
 
(quoted from post at 22:10:24 09/15/12) Honestly that is the new normal. About every wedding these days do that.
Click to expand...
I've heard of the receptions being scheduled later recently, but to schedule it at a specific time, have everyone waiting and then tell them you're not coming for at least another hour?
Guess I won't be going to any more!
 
Yeah,
You were kind of an impatient old crank.
But I would have done the same thing so...
Where was your wife? I would think she would have made you stay.
 
I wonder if they were shocked when they came back and all the guests were gone. I would have left too. You were not rude the bride and groom were.
 
Around here, the bride and groom are always late getting back to the reception. However, they usually have an open bar in the mean time. No refreshments while they were gone? They were the ones who were rude.
 
(quoted from post at 19:38:40 09/15/12) Yeah,
You were kind of an impatient old crank.
But I would have done the same thing so...
Where was your wife? I would think she would have made you stay.
Click to expand...


Dog I would have made her leave too! My wife isn't in control of me.

Rick
 
I know most weddings I've been to the whole wedding party took longer than eveyone else to get to the reception because they were getting pictures taken, etc while still dressed up. Once pics were done they 'dressed down' so they could have a good time just like everyone else.

That said what you are describing is totally unacceptable and I'd have done the same thing and high tailed it out of there. Personally I believe I'd take it a step further and send a regretts card to them telling them exactly why I left. If people don't tell others when they do something stupid then the others are bound to repeat the same stupid mistake, or make another one, again, and again....
 
You attended the wedding.

Did your part, not rude at all.

I understand the wedding party being a little late, but over an hour - that makes them kinda rude.

Reception folk have to have a meal prepared for a certain time, don't know than an hour old meal would be quite the same.... Think there would be a lot going wrong on that whole deal. 15 minutes no big deal, but, obce they got to the reception, they shoulda stayed, not gone off again.

You did good, in my opinion.

--->Paul
 
Justin is right. Here in SE Iowa that is pretty much the norm. I am a pastor and see it often. I personaly think it is rude by the wedding party to do that to their guests. But that is just me. Royse I don"t think you were rude at all. My wife thought you should of taken your gift back home also!
 
Last few weddings I've been to, the wedding and reception were a few hours apart but started pretty much on time. It may be the new normal in some areas, I just don't see it here though. I don't think you were rude at all. They were the rude ones.
 
I agree with you, I think the wedding party was
selfish in doing that to the guests. I'm not good
with the whole social convention thing but I
thought there were responsibilities of a gracious
host and responsibilities of a gracious guest and I
think the hosts missed on this one. If you want to
go bar hopping between the ceremony and the
reception SCHEDULE THE RECEPTION TO START LATER
that way you have met your responsibility to your
guests or as someone else said at least have food
and drink for them at the reception hall while
they're waiting. The thing I didn't like about my
own wedding is I simply didn't have as much time to
visit with friends and family as I would of liked.
 
I won't got to weddings anymore. I'm allergic to perfume and a wedding is a "perfume event" to me. They'll just have to get married without my presence.
 
IMO, what they did was not only rude, but inconsiderate and arrogant. You were their guest, at least that's the idea. What I see many times today is people inviting as many folks as possible so they get more gifts and $$$ on the money tree. You were disrespected. No drinks, no food, nothing to do? Screw them.

I might well have taken my gift with me too.
 
I would have done the same. You went to great expense and time to honor and respect them, the least they could do was pay a little respect and appreciation for those who came versus making them wait for hours. If they dont like it thats their problem NOT YOURS. Your actions and intentions were proper so you cant worry about others who choose to act differently. You went, you left them a gift (I assume) so you did your part.

THATS MY OPINION AND OUTLOOK AND IMA STICKIN TO IT

John T
 
It would have only took me two seconds to leave I might have on to top that a couple years ago my brother got married my parents my wife and him (he stilled live at home) drove 3 hours one way to the wedding that is where her father was a retired preacher the whole thing lasted less then a hour at the reception we got a little slice of cake and a small glass of punch and that was it and were hussled out we spent more time on the road then at the wedding no thank you for the gifts to anyone their excuse was we thank you a the wedding now heres the kicker the had another reception of that one for every one but us they did not want us there because her mother thought we vulger rude off color and did not fit it to way of thinking.
 
I"d of left too.
After my wedding we did the usual picture thing and that
made us late to the reception. To this day I still can"t believe
everyone waited on us to get there and go through the food
line first. Kinda made me feel bad. I wish they would of
helped thierselves while waiting.
 
Should have offered to bring all the other guests barhopping - and leave a note for the wedding party - "will be back in four hours'.
 
I would have left, too.

When my bride of 47 years and I were married, we did things backward. We took the pictures BEFORE the ceremony, and after the wedding, at the end of the recieving line, our hostess directed people to the food. If someone wanted to skip the recieving line and go straight to the chow, no big deal.

The sun did come up the next morning.

Maybe I have too much of a practical side, but it blows my mind how people go at planning a wedding anymore. The bride is usually an obnoxious, spoiled brat, her mother exercises dictatorial skills that would be the envy of a Third World despot, her father is in hock for the rest of his life, and there's a fifty-fifty chance the couple will be divorced within five years.
 
i would have done the same thing after driving that far and receiving that kind of treatment, my wedding was the quickest church wedding in history [ 10 minutes] it was after church, on super bowl sunday,[ captured witnesses from the service] the preacher had a substantial bet on the outcome of the game and he got down to business, did his thing in top gear, and was out the door lol
 
I did the same thing at my sons wedding, two hours late to the church I left. I"m still paying for it
and that was three yeas ago.
I call it having no concept, respect.
JR FRYE
 
extremely rude of you..... You shoulda found the bars and let them buy you a few drinks too......

I wouldn't have went in the first place I guess.... I got this neat little phrase I say every time I hear the horns of a wedding procession..... I say it so all can hear, and the ones that hear it prolly wouldn't invite me any where their wedding.....
 
You shouldn't feel bad. Its standard procedure for pictures to be taken after the ceremony. Reception guests know that and its not a problem.

Going bar hopping while your guests are waiting at the reception is totally unacceptable.
 
My wife provides the music at a few weddings a year. Most brides/bride mothers are poorly organized, but pull it together. A few are what she calls "Bridezillas". They want to control every detail of Their Big Day, no one else's opinion or feelings matter. I'll never understand why a guy would marry one of those puppy mothers.
 
(quoted from post at 09:15:55 09/16/12) Who Cares! That was YOUR decision not to attend, so does it really matter what anyone else thinks?
Click to expand...
To answer your question directly, yes, it matters Kyle.
To expound, it was MY decision TO attend, and the wedding party's decision NOT to attend.
At least not at the scheduled time.
It was then MY decision to leave.
At the time of posting this, that decision was irreversible. Done deal.
Ever second guess yourself?
Nice to know that the majority of people feel or would feel the same as I did.
Turns out there were not many people left by the time the wedding party got back.
The gifts all stayed as far as I know, including mine, but the caterers were stuck
serving cold food to those that were left.
UltraDog mentioned that I may have been an impatient old fart, to paraphrase, and that
may be very accurate other than being old!
I have a lot of patience for children making mistakes, but by the time people are 40,
I think they should have a clue about common decency.
Just in case I forgot, I drove my tractor hauling pickup to and from this event. :)
 
Well, I am way late to this post, kind of like the wedding party.

No you were not rude. If they were a little late that is acceptable. But no food, water, snacks, etc. to occupy the guests while pictures were being taken. Whats the need to bar hop if there is alcohol at the reception.

Plus you drove 2 1/2 hrs each way. I think I would have been digging through the card box to get my card back out. Now, that might be considered rude. But, then you could call it even. If you didnt get your gift back, send them a bill for your gas expenses! I think its $0.55 per mile for 2012.

Rick
 
Arrrrr. I missed your 4th line....

"10 minutes after the reception was supposed to start, the bus pulled in picked up a few more people and left again."

Forget my last post, I would be pizzed if that happened. That would give you al you all the right in the world to dig through the card box and leave.

Rick
 
So the tight wads took a few select guests to the bar because they didn't want to spring for booze at the reception?

You'd have to put a gun to my head to make me go to a dry wedding.
 
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