OT:dads struggling with later life stages,prayers and advice

My dad, 91, alert and self sufficient, had a bad spell with UTI (urinary infect.) and pneumonia. I didn't realize that UTI in elderly causes great confusion! Heck, he couldn't figure out how to work the light switch, had to call ambulance, couldn't get up. Hospital, now rehab, for what its worth. His mind is not returning like it was and p@@ing just won't work no more. Looks like home care round the clock. Wish I could find a reliable sitter. He had a similar but not nearly as bad a spell 1 1/2 yrs ago and I panicked and hired a care firm and they sent an "entirely inappropriate" lady in (its not at all like the the tv commercial). What's your experience with finding a sitter for the elderly? Mom's okay but early stages of dementia. I visit here usually daily, its my "therapy". I share your advice and anecdotes with others. I know its a tractor forum. But, I also know we all share similar events in our lives. Thanks

You and yours are in our prayers.
The only experience I can offer is that when my dad needed help
we had several people in to care for him. The one he liked, we kept.

We hired sitters for my mother. 24 - 7 $ 10.00 cash.

My sister does that kind of thing. She used to work in nursing homes but hated how they where run. So she got some kind of rating/certification so that she can be paid directly from Medicare. Your father should be eligible for home health care for a period of time after his hospital stay.

Place an ad in the local paper. There are people that do this. Many have their CNA training but don't like the nursing home atmosphere. It sounds like your parents don't need in depth medical care more just a care taker type of duty for now.

RedTom,
Sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you and your family can find peace and celebrate his life.

My FIL is 92 and going thru the same stage. On and off UTI for over 2 years now has sapped his strength and mind.
It is a cycle of UTI, antibiotics that cause diarrhea, loss of fluids/electrolytes causes further weakening and lose of mind.

My wife is a CNA(Certified Nurses Assistant) in a local hospital. She gets very frustrated that modern medicine cannot come up with a better treatment plan to break these cycles. Feels often it would be best to let the patient pass in a more dignified way instead of this long drawn out painful and confusing process.
When my mom was a nurs
e worked for the Nursing Sisters of the Sick, Poor, Nursing home for the retired sisters of the order. They would place the patients on comfort care and they would ease out of this life and go on to heaven in peace without undo suffering.

At some point, hard decision to make, but we have to let our elders go with dignity. Hospice care facilities need to be easier to get into to.

My FIL has a Living Will stating he wanted no unnatural life prolonging treatment. They gave it to him anyway? What's with that? $$$ from Medicare.

Peace to you and your family

Pete

Sounds very close to what happened with my mother. She is 90 and went from hospital to rehab. We met with the rehab staff before the 100 day limit and they told us she had to have skilled care because she had plateaued and still could not perform day to day care for herself. She had good days and bad days. Tough to go through. Best wishes.

Sorry about your dad. Very hard situation, especially with him not having mental clarity now. I do agree with the man who said that sometimes we need to let our elders pass from this world with dignity.

I think that really the only thing that can make the process easier is if the ill/elderly person has a living will made out so one knows what to do. My folks had/have one... mom is gone and thankfully when she fell and an ambulance was called, no life saving measures where taken due to her wishes. Turned out to be a gift - we found after she passed that she was full of cancer that had not been dectected by her doctors. Now dad is 83 and in bad shape -- but he has chosen orders for Do Not Recessitate/Do Not Intubate... makes it easier for us kids when the time comes. *We all should have a living will made out - it does not cost that much. Copy needs to be on file at hospital AND a copy available at home to show to ambulance in case they are ever called to the home.