Home/farm burial - humans, not animals ?

Anybody ever done a home burial in their woods or farm?

My mom's dying and I'm seriously considering it.

I see nothing noble about wasting money with a funeral business.

She's a 100 years old and her mind has been gone for years. When she did have her wits about her, she expressed no interest in what might happen to her when she passed away.

Maybe this sounds cold hearted - but I don't see it that way. Giving a ton of money to a funeral director who didn't even know her seems a lot more "cold hearted" to me.

Here in rural New York, there are family plots all over the older farms, but those were done long ago in the "boot hill" days.

Not sure,..but I believe you have to have a certain amount of land in acres (6+ just a guess) and it has to meet state health codes,..i.e. not in a water shed area or flood plain. Check your local zoning codes.
Good Luck

It will depend on the laws in your state and county. Cremation is a cheaper alternative to burial.

Haven't heard of this in Michigan, to my knowledge.

Wifes family in Alabama, have buried family members as recently as the late 70's on their own property.

Will be interested to see what others reply.

Rick

I know in Texas you can still do it. Grave has to be a certain depth and a few other regulations.

Most states don't allow that anymore because when the farm changes hands the new owner is stuck with a small cemetery. I have one near me that has been abandoned. Its in the middle of a jungle that you would not know it's there without the grave stones.

Where you bury her is a small part of it. Biggest expense is the casket and burial vault plus the funeral home preps the body and arranges all the final services as you probably well know. How are you going to take care of these items even if you can bury her on your own land? Pine boxes used to work I guess.

Yes. A friend of mine buried his wife on their Allegan County farm about 3 years ago. Don't know all the details,but I know there were permits involved. He hauled up a huge rock and had their names sand blasted in to it by some outfit out of Grand Rapids. He's scheduled to be buried there too when the time comes.

There was a couple here in our township who were buried on their farm too. That was back in the 70s. If I remember all the hoopla right back then,they had to sell something like 3 plots to others to qualify as a cemetery in that particular case. I don't know that anybody else was actually ever buried there though besides them and their prize Angus bull. A friend lives on that farm now. I don't know that the "cemetery" is an actual part of that farm anymore. It's still kept up and maintained by somebody,but I don't think it's by him.

It will be cremation for me and I don't want my ashes in a cemetery.
Why should family have to pay for upkeep on my cemetery plot?

I do see your point.
In any case you will legally have to deal with a funeral home, either for the embalming or cremation.
I'd suggest doing cremation then set the ashes on the fireplace mantle or quietly burying or spreading them out on the farm.


Maxx

A lady that fought the idea of cancer treatment for her son(she did after the court system went after her) lost her husband to cancer. She went to the County Board and has a permit to bury him on the farm. Brown County, MN. We had a funeral Friday in the Cities. She was cremated..no kids..lots of family. Her ashes was spread out behind her church..It was a swampy area.

Same county as rrlund, and my parents ashes are burried under the red maple tree in the front yard. As I understand it, as long as they are cremated, you can do about what you wish. We just quietly burried them one Sunday, no fanfare, no publicity, no problems. I"m sure your local mortuary can advise you as to your rights in your local,

These weren't cremations though.

Listen to MSD. The burial spot/plot is only a small portion of the total cost. FIL died 5 years ago and his casket was $2,700, funeral service, embalming, cemetary, total cost was $13,000 and change. My wife had an aunt that was incinerated/cremated, that cost as much as if she was embalmed with regular service.
Dying isnt cheap, unless your mom dies in a hospital and you let the hospital "take care of everything" cause you dont know her, dont answer the phone when the hospital calls. --Kind of cold hearted huh?

If you can do it now prepay for some of the stuff and price around for what all the stuff costs, casket, pick one day of viewing instead of 2 etc. My MIL only chose 1 day of viewing which saved money also.
Funeral homes are big business, they can be scams too if you arent careful.

As long as the burial site is registered appropriately, and the body is properly prepared, an approved vault is installed you can bury her wherever. But it's much cheaper to have her cremated and put her in the closet if you don't want her on the mantle. (No offense meant). I now have 8 boxes in the closet. The last was my mom. 99 years old. It cost about $500.00 for the whole thing. Sorry for your impending loss. I hope it isn't during the holidays like my dad. Each Thanksgiving I get moody they say. That's the only thing I can think of that would cause it.
LarryT

LJD I am a Final Expense Life Ins. Agent. I deal with this subject matter all the time!! The Funeral Homes ARE preying on folks when they can least afford this Financially and Emotionally. Call me and I can give you a lot of Ideas on how to keep this expense in a manageable form!
My # 512-577-3837. OBTW:: I am not licensed in NY so I cannot sell you anything.
Later,
John A.

I Googled Pa restrictions for burying family on private land
got this

Pine box?? I made my own, brother has it in his garage for when needed by me or maybe couple other brothers. One brother died couple years back and funeral aggravation is annoying. The brother notified by sherrif didn"t know about the coffin and authorized a extra $1000.00 not needed if he"d used my homemade box and not enbalmed body that was cremated anyway. Plain folks funerals sometimes allowed on established, grandfathered in burial sites, sometimes Jewish Orthodox plot patterns allowed in secular site-- but the concrete vaults in floodplains can be expensive. Viking funerals in soon to be scrapped sailboat hull might be alternative- just have to worry about DNR instead of funeral home. Arrange traditional Lakota or Tibetan disposal??-Feed the crows. Problem for some people is their plans get changed by survivors that didn"t get instructions or are afraid of legal hassles. I know of a couple of bodies from Hospice that were taken direct by designated handlers that didn"t get to cemetary-- body disposed of as requested before death. Jeep used as hearse, 4 wheel drive needed to get to final resting places, archeologist 100 years from now might get confused about Dineh burial in northern state. Sherrif and county attorney, coroner in another instance have decided not to look close in back timber by county park- missing body case is marked closed as natural death noted, no further action for convenience of county and surviving family request who would otherwise obstruct. RN

Sounds like the one right here in town. That guy's gonna end up living in a cardboard box he's lost so much business. There's another one just north of town. We had Dads there just a couple of years ago. $4200 total. Lots of folks are going there nowdays,or to the next town west of here.

gun guru cremation is very high where your located. My sister passed away 5 years ago and was cremated and the total cost was $3600.00 including shipping ashs to Indiana. She was cremated in Pennsylvania and had her ashs spread over the homestead in Indiana.

Sorry about your Mom. Like others said - the plot is a small part of the cost of a traditional burial. My wife and I have given orders for our remains to be cremated and the ashes scattered near a waterfall on our farm. No visitation, no funeral, no preacher, only a celebration that we both have been blessed to live long happy lives. I see no need to further enrich the local undertaker, even though I'm friends with him - he was a schoolmate. That money (wasted in my view) can be better spent on lifes necessities.

My main concern would be what happened to the gravesite in future years. If the land is sold in the future, the new owners might consider the gravesite to be in their way. They coud possibly doze it over and build on top of it, or other things.

Old cemeteries have been plowed under, paved over, built upon, etc. At least in an established cemetery, the gravesite stands a better chance of being undisturbed.

i am getting burned up with ORDERS to be spread around my hunting shack and the state of Wisconsin can kiss my As-

I was told this by my wife, when her aunt kicked the bucket 16-18 years ago. A full funeral service with 2 days of looking at an urn and nice words that were said etc.

Jde.Our remaining family members opt for cremation.I lost my daughter to cervical CANCER 2 years ago come Dec 8th. We still have her Urn here. and will place her ashes on the hill come spring(maybe NOT) we still think about her as still here. I Know she is'nt physically here and we sure miss her so.Funeral expenses are so far out of line(for us) that cremation is the most frugal way. and the least damaging to the family finances.I know,some would call us cheep azzes, but all of the family members doesn't intend to make morticians wealthy at our expense.All the un needed expense of funeral, grave, perpetual care,,vault,preachers sermon cost, and as someone said here, the minister really doesn't know the person who passed away (as well as family members do) so for us Cremation is the answer. Scattered ashes, small grave,on family ground seems to us ,to be the answer. My family's thoughts and prayers goes out to you on the impending passing away of your mother. My Mother lived to be 95 years old before she passed away. Longevity doesn't necessarily mean a pleasant existance for those who are experiencing it ,nor the family members who are surrounding the cherished member.J de Your kind heart WILL KNOW THE ANSWER WHEN THE TIME COMES, If what you intend to do with her remains(Home burial Plot)is permissable under N.Y Laws, and it is your wishes, then do it if that is what you want. The next paragraphs are from E-How,and I don't know if you've read it or not,but just sending it in hopes that it will help.I send this to you with MY WARMEST REGARDS POSSIBLE, LOU AND FAMILY!


New York State Burial Laws
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By Alexis Writing, eHow Contributor

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Death can be a scary business, especially when one considers how expensive funerals can be. Today, family and friends that are burying a loved one need to think about caskets, body prepping, funeral costs and burial grounds. Each state has rules and regulations regarding burials, and in New York, the New York State Cemetery Board is in charge of administrating cemetery law. The purpose of such laws is to set standards for the establishment, maintenance and preservation of burial grounds in New York.

Cemeteries Under Jurisdiction
Cemeteries must be established under the Not-for-Profit Corporation Law to be under the jurisdiction of the New York State Cemetery Board. Cemeteries that are religious, municipal, private, national or family-owned don't have to follow board regulations. A cemetery under the jurisdiction of the NYSCB cannot refuse burial on their grounds except for reasons of non-payment. There is a grave purchase price, internment charges and a lot tax that must be paid before a person can be buried on the cemetery grounds.

Burial on Local Land
There are no state regulations prohibiting burials on private property, but there are local regulations that hinder it. In these cases, local restrictions are binding. In the same way, there are no state mandates on the minimum depth of a grave, but there are local regulations that require a certain burial depth. For example, the city of New York requires that the top of the coffin be at least three feet below the ground, but it can be two feet underground if the body is in a concrete vault.

Burial Rules
New York law dictates that you can decide how you would like to dispose of your remains whether it be by cremation or burial. It is most practical to leave written instructions so there will be no confusion over your wishes. You can also purchase the deed to your burial lot, including a contract and receipt that proves ownership so that your place of rest will be retained. However, you're not actually the owner of the property; you simply have the right to be buried there, memorialized there and to vote at lot owners' meetings. You can sell your cemetery lot as long as it's free of remains, but you must first attempt to sell it back to the cemetery at a reasonable price before finding an outside buyer.



Read more: New York State Burial Laws eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/list_6123789_new-york-state-burial-laws.html#ixzz1ewZCbpDC

PJH,
That was a great reply, My sentiments n how I feel about the undertakers and all the cost involved with a traditional funeral.The old saying of "funerals are for the living" seems to apply nowadays more than ever, and all the costs seem to skyrocket out of reason. A long time ago, back when someone died, graves were dug along side the trail or roadways,or family acreage, a small marker or cross was put on the gravesite,with a few kind words and prayers were uttered, and all was well.Not now, seems you have to jump thru hoops just to satisfy the state,county and local municipality board, all who gets a cut from the $$.Your post and ideals are right on my idea of what should happen.Regards, LOU

My dad was creamated and his ashes were spread on a bit of land that was part of of his fathers farm.I own the land now.Dad often said he wanted to go back to the Mount.His home and mine were taken for a new highway.He lived with me for 10 years.I promised him he would go back to the Mount some day.A friend took his ashes back there and spread them on land Dad was born on and lived on for 65 years.I still have a strong hatred of interstate highways to this day because of the sorrow they caused to people who lost their homes.

What about donating her body for medical research? It might involve a phone call and your signature, perhaps her's as well. I doubt if there are any expenses.

This is alternative answer to the question that many people don't think about, but nevertheless, it's a valid option.

The local university has a reputable medical school, and they are always seeking bodies for training the up and coming doctors. I decided many years ago to donate my deceased body to the medical school, and so everything's in place for that to happen, and the card is in my wallet. The lawyer has it in my will also.

The way I see it, when I die, if I'm in the ground or cremated, I'm no use to anyone. But if some medical students can learn a few things from my corpse that will lead them to new discoveries in disease prevention, treament, and cures, it will be worthwhile. I've had asthsma all my life, so students might learn something from my defective lungs to eventually relieve suffering in others.

The others are on the right track- cremation is the way to go, scatter the ashes wherever you want. If you want to do a conventional burial on your own place, you can probably do it, but will have to have mortician prepare the body, casket and burial vault, etc.- big $$.

Nothing to prevent you from putting up a stone or other memorial on your property- if she's not actually buried there, you can do anything you want without guvment interferance, because its not a grave- just a marker out in the back 40.

There's an outfit in Washington and some other states called Funeral Alternatives. Look into that, and other "cremation only" outfits. Have a memorial service at your church, if you want. Just don't have a funeral home involved.

I'm sure you've heard it before Lou, but a parent should never outlive a child. I can only imagine what you've gone through and are still going through. My brother just died at age 63 and it's feels pretty weird that he's gone and mom is still alive (sort of). At least she's not aware of it. Also seems that life is not fair to all. I used to smoke three packs of Marboros a day, drank( a lot), breathed diesel and welding fumes all day long. I've broken near every bone in my body including my neck. Yet - my brother who never got his hands dirty in his life and was a 100% egg-head academic at MIT - gets cancer and drops dead. Hard to figure?

I lost two of my best friends (husband and wife) after their 8 year old daughter died suddenly of chicken pox. Rare but it still happens! We were still close afterwards but then they decided to try for another child at ages in the late 40s. No matter what they did, they could not make it happen. Then all-of-a-sudden - 8 years ago -my young wife at age 45 gets pregnant (by me as the rumour goes). She's 12 years younger then me.
That had a awful affect on our two friends. We have not seen them nor heard from them since the day they found out my wife was pregnant. The result is our "new" 8 year old boy, Louis and the loss of two old friends. I can't ask them what the problem is and I suspect they may not even know for sure themselves.

Hey on the lighter side - have you ever heard of "Holy Smoke?" This is not a joke, it's real. I just saw an add for it. You get cremated, and get your ashes put into a rifle or shotgun shell. Then somebody can actually shoot a deer or bear with your ashes taking part. Just plain weird !

I told my wife to please bury me next to my dog who's already underground behind the house.

Thanks for all the replies.

I just saw an add for the new "Holy Smoke" company in Alabama. They will put your loved one's ashes into gun ammo so you can go out and shoot something with the ashes being part of the hunting fun.

I thought it was a joke at first, but NOPE. It's real.

Oh well, my mom was never a gun nut. Just me.

<a href="http://s104.photobucket.com/albums/m162/jdemaris/?action=view&amp;current=holysmoke.jpg" target="_blank"> </a>

When my Dad died 17 years ago, his wishes were carried out: he wanted to be cremated and his ashes placed in the plot where my Mom's parents are buried in a local cemetery. We held the memorial service at the Church where my family has gone for 50+ years. There was no embalming or casket or anything else that cost much, and I think we spent less than $2000, including the very nice marker. When the time comes, my Mom's ashes will be added to the same plot and the year of her death will be added to the marker.

Over the years, I have been given some comfort by being able to go visit my Dad's resting place. I have had lunch by the marker many times. I miss my Dad horribly, even now, and going there helps me.

My Wife and I plan to follow a similar plan, but we cannot be added to my Parent's and Grandparent's grave, by cemetery rules. So we have bought a plot in a local, legal country cemetery near where we have lived all our married life and most of my life. That plot only cost $100. We plan to get a marker and have it placed in the cemetery before we ever need it. After we die, some of our ashes will be buried in the cemetery plot.

We also plan to have some of our ashes scattered on our land. But who knows what will happen to this land after my Wife and I die? Very likely it will be sold and probably not to a family member.

If our children wanted to visit our final resting place, they might not be able to if we just buried or scattered our ashes on our land. In the country cemetery, they would have the right to visit whenever they want. We think it is a good plan, and we will try to have all the arrangements written out and payed for before the time comes to carry our wishes out.

The funeral directors want to sell you expensive services and products, which I think are unnecessary. They might resist, but in my opinion, a cremation and transport of the body should be available for well less than $1000. I would guess that there would be very little red tape burying human ashes.

Burying a body might be another story, and might be a real hassle, legally. I sure wouldn't consider it without talking to a lawyer that is up on the local and state laws concerning the subject. Doing it illegally might result in it costing a lot more than it would have to have a fancy funeral with all the trimmings.

A grave without a vault or liner will settle and become a depression in the ground as the coffin and body decompose unless additional dirt is added over time.

I suggest finding a country cemetery that will accept more burials. I also suggest that cremation is a better, less expensive alternative to buying or building a coffin and having a much deeper conventional burial. But to each, their own opinion. Good luck!

I used to work with a guy whose father in law passed away. The body was donated to the University of Iowa Medical School. About a year later he said he came home from work and his wife said, Dad's in the garage. He asked what the heck was going on. She said that they were done with the body, creamated it and returned it to the family. Not sure what they did with the ashes. Chris

What the government don't know won't hurt them or you. That being said, this past summer my dad called my brother and to the farm. He wanted to make preparations for after he has passed. He had a representative from the Neptune Society out to do their pitch. Well we all liked what they said and purchased one of their plans. They take care of everything.

My dad also wants to have his ashes spread on a spot on the farm along with my mothers, she passed in 1996. He already has the spot picked out and all us kids have agreed. We will put up a marker where the ashes were scattered just so we have something to show the kids where there grandparents were laid to rest.

Leonard

I think it's a state by state thing.

I used to know a girl who's uncle was burried in the back yard. They checked with the health department and they just have to have him embalmed and turn in some paper work. Pretty cool if you ask me, I'd rather be on a hill top in the pasture field with cows come'n by every now and then than in a hole beside a bunch of folks I don't know.

Dave

I know there are a lot of old burial sites on family farms thats been there for years. But I've also heard that if the property sells, the new owners can turn you away from visiting the graves. I live on a small place in the country, been here for over 30 years, I want to be cremated and my ashes spread over the graves of my dogs.

Jde. Thanks for the reply. Your right. I heard the saying. My daughter use to say(when things went wrong,)"LIFE GOES ON".For some that holds true, to others there leaves a lot of doubt. Your friends seemed that they disagreed with your choice on a marriage partner. Damn shame to be so narrow minded when it boils down to friendship.Some people I knew lost children (auto wrecks, suicide ect. Marriages broke down life went upside down for the family, separation, and divorce.Some took up substance abuse. (Booze ,drugs.)Oh yea. Holy smoke idea might have some Merritt.lol.Lighter side of death.Your choice of being laid to rest is valid on it's face, but just could leave the remaining members with a dilemma on the rules set down by th State of N.Y. You Know Jde.I keep wondering about LOUIS(who I consider my name sake) and how he is doing? You have a wonderful family and a great wife. Never have met you and yours, but if I was of good health. I would ask for a visit. Maybe NEXT LIFE as my old pal use to say. Warmest regards LOU.

I lost my step daughter, she lived in Pa. to cancer last year. She had no estate or insurance so my wife had to pay.
The undertaker's first quote was $2,600 when My wife said that was too much he dropped the price to $1.600. That was for a nice service and creamation. No burial (we did that back here in Ma.)

I have some land that the former owners great aunt has her ashes spread in the pond back by the swamp. Her name was Josie. Tonight when I went hunting back by that spot she sent me a deer out of the canary grass by the pond but I didn't get a chance to see if it were a buck or doe. It's a very peacefull spot and I can see why she wanted to be there.

Wow Kyplowbow, I never thought of it that way but I really like that idea.

I had planned to be cremated and have my ashes spread over the farm land. That way if the kids did come to visit, the would enjoy a nice ride in the country, just like I aways did,

I talked with our local funeral home about furnishing my own casket. As for trying to save some money , his reply was that they will charge about 1/2 of their casket price for "handling charges"when the customer furnishes the casket.
Well so much for that idea.
Well here is another idea that mite work.Buy a precast storm shelter less the regular top half. Buy 2 bottom 1/2 s, Bury one 1/2, put the body in to it , then install the top 1/2 . Job all taken care of. BTW , storm shelters are water proof.
A regular shelter costs less than $ 600 last spring. The body does not need to be embalmed in our state

She is a statistic on their records so how do you suggest he expunge that.? Don't all deaths have to be reported.?