**OT** Southern Logic

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help.
If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Louisiana

A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car
and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back.
He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "

*** Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North!!

Dn't know what you consider north but i wished they would all go back south!!!

Nope...them southern boys goes North to make a livin...send $$ back and build big fine homes and retire.

I don't know about that. I was in stationed in LA, KY,TX and KS......when I retired I was in KS and moved north to Mn......LOL


Rick

Rick, Was that the terrible mistake you told me about? (movin north) lol Regards Lou.

LOL Lou nope, kinda like it here when the darned snowbirds and tourist leave!

Rick

A big shot Washington DC bureaucrat had to go in the hospital for a few days. He was constantly complaining about everything the staff did, always telling them how they could do their jobs better.

After a while there was only one nurse who would have anything to do with him. On the third day she goes into his room and announces she has to take his temperature; after a bunch of complaining he finally stops talking and holds his mouth open. "No" says the nurse, "this reading has to be from the other end."

More complaining, finally he rolls over and lets her stick it in. "I have to step out for a minute, you stay there and don't move" she says, then walks out of the room leaving the door wide open.

He complains to no one in particular as people walk past his room and chuckle when they see him like that. After about a half hour his physician comes in a yells "What's going on here?"

Bureaucrat says "What's the matter Doc, haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken this way before?"

Doctor says "Not with a carnation!".

Thanks, I needed a good laugh. And I'm from North Carolina. Us all needs to be able to laugh at ourselves.

Hey this is a true story. I was selling my 50 ton Trail-King to a southern gentleman. He contacted me by telephone and asked a few questions, and asked, "How long is the whale?" I didn't understand. "The what?" I asked. "The whale", said he, "How long is it?" "I'm afraid I don't get you, sir. I never heard that term before". He went on and patiently explained, "You know, the distance between the tars and the goosenayeck." Then I got it. "Oh, you mean the WELL! It's 24 feet." The guy was happy. "That's just the size whale I'm needin'".