OT:Confessions of a shade tree mechanic/carpenter(long)

Over the last 60 years of trying to get by doing stuff for myself:
1. grunting on the end of an 18" breaker bar on a gear puller trying to get the crank pulley off to replace timing chain on 69 Chev 327. Puzzled why it took so much muscle only to find out the little pad at the end of the puller screw had fallen off and i was welding the puller screw into the tapped crankshaft hole. Gave up and junked it.
2. placed a 16 foot cedar board on the 40 foot wooden extension ladder laying on its side against the house. Shortened the board and also the the tip of the ladder on one side.
3. found myself on the underside of a ladder caused from reaching out too far. Took about one second. 20 feet above a concrete driveway!
4.Over 30 feet up on a ladder when the @#$ tape measured unclipped itself from the belt and narrowly missed a child who suddenly appeared at that time to retrieve a ball.
5. Distributed some favorite tools left in the engine compartment to some other person(s).
6. Had all the window openings framed and waiting for my order of Anderson windows to be delivered, had BIL there to help nail them in, unloaded delivery and grabbed the window unit, sat it in place and it fit complete with my hands on the outside holding from falling clear through. My order change/screw up, had to line the openings with 2 x 4's. Lucky my BIL is still my best friend!
Luckily I can laugh at myself. But the tears don't look manly. Leo

1st time I ever pulled a steering wheel off I was 17 and didn't have a puller, so I just took the nut off and drove up the dirt road. lol, well it came off! ever try to stick one back on the shaft while the car's heading for the ditch? didn't get it back on in time.

I once went along for a test drive with a friend in his 409/425 powered 1957 Bel Aire complete with bucket seats (yes, real inverted galvanized buckets) and a pair of vice grips clamped onto the steering column shaft for a steering wheel.

Of course, the owner couldn't resist nailing it, and, of course, both buckets, as well as both occupants, were quickly dispatched into the cavity where a rear seat would normally be.

Dean

ah, to be young again.

When I was 18 I worked awhile fixing up equipment that the church would send to the mission field. I was troubleshooting a garden tractor with an aircooled engine that would not start, when the bosses little boy came out of the office where his dad was, and I asked him to give me a hand for a second. I asked him to hold this wire tight and let me know if it gets warmer, or colder. Then I pulled the cord, he dropped the wire, started a blood curddling scream and his father entered the shop area. I usually got along pretty well with his dad, so I suppressed my natural urge to laugh out loud, looked as serious as I could and said, "I'm pretty sure that this is a fuel problem". He made me very aware of spark testers, and sent his son home. We didn't talk much that afternoon, but eventually we got better.

Icouldn't figure out how the driveshaft came out so I chopped the '55 Ford Fairlane 2 door coupe in half, right behind the front seat. Chopped through the frame, too.Pulled the halves apart a bit and presto,the driveshaft fell out of the tranny.It was a double bitted ax.

Figured it wsa time to get rid of the pile of brush and limbs in the back yard, stepped upi nto the pile, stuck the old Pioneer saw into the pile, and cut down further and further, finally shot sparks out of the pile, figured I had hit a nail so I just kept on, pressing down harder and harder, Nothing, would not cut any further. Pulled out, stepped back, and I had cut all the leather, and just about cut all the way through my steel toe boot.

(reply to post at 21:24:36 10/16/11)

Click to expand...

:shock: Just had one of those yesterday. Put new wheel bearings on the front of my car and decided to do the brakes too. Got everything buttoned up, reminding myself to pump the brakes when I got in the car for a test drive. Got distracted in the drivers seat for a second and just started backing out of the garage down the driveway. Yup, foot went all the way to the floor as the car kept going. I threw it into drive from reverse pretty darn fast just as I got to the sidewalk and before I hit the street. Whoo, could have been bad if someone had been riding or walking down the sidewalk.

Your ladder experience reminded me of when I stepped off a stepladder when I was working in a barn last winter. Forgot I was on the 2nd step, not the lowest one. Next thing I know, I'm laying on a pile of 2x4s with nails in them. My head hit the wall pretty hard about 3 inches away from where a nail was sticking out.

Things (especially bad things) DO happen fast.

Seems my biggest goofs have been asking for advice.Sometimes I just want to say.

I KNOW NOTHING AND YOU KNOW LESS THAN ME!!!

Good Luck

Stan