OT:The meaning of home and my long rant

What is your meaning of home? We all settle in a place for a reason, I guess. Its not important to some, to others its a key life decision. I stayed in my hometown nextdoor to my folks (my wife loves that)for 22 years now. My only brother, 9yrs older, fled when he was 18, and never looked back. The youngest of six I thought I was all set. I am now 49 and the picture isn't so rosy. It has become shockingly aware to me that I will never suceed financially. On my 2 mile long road I count 6 father son neighbor setups, which is great. But, my siblings all chose exciting careers/towns to pursue and became quite comfortable. I stayed, much like George Bailey(minus the friends) in "Its a Wonderful Life. While my siblings made money and set up homes in greener towns with better economies, I went away to school and moved back home to what was "comfortable" and "home". We don't farm, the land is rented, and my dads shop had an anti nepotism policy which is okay with me, so I chose my own career. Now, its not so comfortable. The folks are elderly, slipping, and need my daily monitoring, my job is stagnant, my children are nearing college, the town I live in has been in its own 10 year recession and looks like it has been bombed and my siblings are all very busy in ther happy towns. It is now a fact that I will never be able to retire before I'm 70. I now know I made a poor career choice money wise and I can live with it, but my children will be the ones to suffer. I am around many wealthy people daily that openly flaunt their wealth and it pains me so, not for me, but for my children who may not have the "chance" their kids will get. I see the disappointment in their faces when they see that we cannot buy or go or do what others do. We have never been in a plane, or on a cruise, a restaraunt is a rare treat. We were poor growing up and did without lots, but my dad did good in the end of his job. It has been a bad day, a bad week. The checking account balance is zero. It looks like it will be a bad month, too. My paycheck isn't enough anymore. I am thankful, though. I have a job, believe in God, work hard daily. Am I whining? A little. But I am so tired and weighed down. So, my question is-What is home, and why choose it if it means a sacrifice? Thank you end of rant, Tom

hang in there, life can be hard sometimes, but like caring for your parents, and providing for you siblings, you will be thankful you did one day. I live on family land, 1/4 mile down from where my parents live and i grew up, never had, and wouldn't have it any other way for me or my family.

I live close to the home place. I didn't get far from home except while in the Navy. When my parents were living I could be around them and watch there progress, which was slowly going down hill. I am glad I was near them most of their life, except for the time I was in the service. What is rich? I know a few rich people who would trade everything they have to have a few more good years. My family all have fairly good health that means a lot. I was able to find a job I stayed with for 36 years and retire. I get a small pension, and with SS and my mowing I keep my head above water. I also know a person who brags about his income, but can't pay my brother for a horse pannel he ruined. Hang in there Tom, and enjoy your parents while they are still alive. Stan

One thing I noticed in your msg was that your children are nearing college. Meaning? you should pay for that? You are taking care of your parents....very noble, so many don"t...We gave our kids an opportunity to raise college funds the last two years in high school- by raising hogs....like the FFA revolving sow program. We provided seed stock for first one, gave them feed for sows and feeder pigs, beyond that, they were on their own to sell feeders or feed out, on their dime. Responsibility for them? Provide bred seedstock to the next sibling. Each of our six kids left home with 5-6 grand for college. I and siblings left home with nothing, 3 of 5 of us worked our way thru college, no student loans back then.

You are finding out the down side of living in many rural areas. There are not as many opportunities for jobs and careers. The trade off is that the quality of life is usually better. The cost of living is usually lower too. The real problem is that the USA is not a growing economy any longer. Way too many jobs and companies moved over seas. We make very few things here anymore. The average family is losing ground in the real standard of living game. My children will not be able to have my standard of living. At least not with the same job skills.

Back to your personal problems. You are helping your parents be able to have a better quality of life. Make sure that those away do what they can. If not then some balancing needs to be done. Your Parents are the ones to do that, not you.

I had to work several jobs and had a very thrifty wife at home but I don't think we would have made it in todays economy. Just look at the insurance cost we have today. When I first got married we did not have any kind of insurance. My oldest son cost less than $1000 for the entire hospital stay and delivery. The first house we owned the house insurance cost $75 per year, I now pay $2000 on the same house.

Every ones wants me to pay them but no one wants the pay me what it takes to make a living the days. If I did not have the things from the past investments helping I would be going backward too.

Coulda, shoulda, woulda is gonna drive you nuts if you let it..... Let your kids join the military and set up the education money available and take advantage of the opportunities to earn their degree while enjoying a steady (pretty healthy) paycheck, 3 hots & a cot, 30 days paid vacation a year 100% medical and dental, countless other FREE services, and travel opportunities...
As for home, who can really explain it? I made my home here but where mom and immediate family is will always be "back home". Will I go back there to stay? No, went back a couple times to visit andrealize that you just can't go back. also discovered that family is much more fun and bearable when you have an ocean between you. You're not really whining, I like to call it venting. Just do it and pick your head back up before you do something stupid. As for your old man's policy of no family in the business (if I understood it right) I'd let him eat that policy and take care of himself while you do whatever it takes to take care of you and your wife and get your kids out of high school.
That's just my people skills kicking in again.

Good luck.

Dave

It is a free country and you were free to chose. Every form of refuge has its price, and we all make compromises. Seriously, what did you expect ? Didn't you see it comming ? I am sure some of your siblings tried to talk to you but you wouldn't listen to anything they said. Why are your kids going to suffer ? Is it something that you failed to provide ? What ? Do you think your siblings didn't work hard and sacriface ? They set good examples for you. Perhaps sending your kids to live with your siblings is a good idea, something might rub off. Even you say you chose what was "comfortable". When I hit the streets of the big city it was not comfortable or home, but I made it work. My logic is it is much better to sacrifice in your 20's and 30's than your 50's-60's-and 70's. I have no regrets.

You are in Michigan yes?
What city?

What do you do for a living?

I am a machinist and have thought more and more of starting my own machine shop so that I will not be kicked to the curb when I get in my 50's. But I dont want to take out a $60,000 loan to buy equipment/insurance/shop rent etc.

It is one thing to be poor and owe piles of money to everyone, kinda like the debt crisis of many many people. And it is another thing to make a small amount of money and owe very little, and own very little also.

Do you work a lot of hours? Or are you part time?

Dont think about retirement, if you like what you do then keep doing it cause sitting at home on the couch watching TV just cause you turned 65 is BS.

i'm same age and the exact same questions run thru my head. Big changes happen when your kids hit the age when they are choosing the path of the rest of their life. As we look to give advice, we examine our own story and we know the flaws too well. Also, this economy makes us all feel like losers alot more than 3 years ago. Be careful you don't get down on yourself or resent other's success. If you think about it, our younger enthusiasm is the key.

49 is a bit late in life to uproot, move and start a new career. But it's a hell of a lot better than trying to do it at 59 or 69.

(quoted from post at 02:03:25 09/24/11) It is one thing to be poor and owe piles of money to everyone, kinda like the debt crisis of many many people. And it is another thing to make a small amount of money and owe very little, and own very little also.

.

Click to expand...

We never had the world but we weren't hungry. We all bought our own first car with maybe a little boost from dad and we went our own way/supported ourselves after HS.

Money isn't everything even tho it's nice sometimes. 2 things that stick in my mind and keeps me doing what I am is:

1) When I was a kid, I made a comment that another family had a lot of money (maybe said they were rich?). Dad and a friend of the family was there and without even a hesitation they both said "they just owe a lot"..
Couple years later things turned a little and that family lost everything they had to bad crop/livestock prices and bankruptcy.

2) Was talking o a guy that had a drastic pay cut due to retirement. He said that he was still the same person and would just buy a $5 shirt instead of a $20 one.

Mid Life Crisis---I think we've all had those thoughts in some form or another. If you asked your siblings, they would possibly say that they wished they could have been closer to Mom & Dad. Yes they may have better paying jobs, but do they have more bills to pay. Sounds like you just might have MORE than you realize. Does your wife love you & do your kids look up to you? Can you pay your bills on time and look your neighbors in the eye when you meet them? If you can do these things brother, YOU'RE RICHER THAN LOTS OF THOSE MAKING THE BIG BUCKS. Hang in there, this feeling will pass, it has for most of us at least. Just my thoughts, Keith

Its hard to say, I know quite a few people including myself who did not stray too far, though I did spend about 15 years working and dealing with NYC/NJ as a place to live, returning home on weekends. If I had stayed the whole time, I don't think I'd have built as decent of a career as I did. Sometimes the money was good, or was beyond that, but there was also a stress level and responsibility, workload that was not easy or rewarding. I would agree that moving to a better economic area, carefully making career/education choices does pay off, but at a sacrifice. I took a hiatus from it, to enjoy home, our land, working on 2 farms sometimes, with ultra low wages that don't amount to as someone once said, " a warm bucket of spit" LOL
I laugh, hey at least I get up and go to work somewhere, but have been trying to get back to my career, locally if possible, money is the driving factor even though I am the only one, with 2 elderly parental units to look after or help, one needs some monitoring or it better said, its good to be around, It would be hard to leave em be, and its a good thing to be there, as they were for you at one time.

Just last week, money was tight, need to get some groceries, had to stave that off 1 week or so, skipping meals, hungry saying to myself, what in heck are you doing, low wage jobs LOL ... so I head for the freezer, get a couple of Venison tenderloins, dug some taters up in the garden, onions too, and prepared a meal on the grill, went downstairs to the man-cave, added an Anchor Brewing company Bock beer, and had a meal that was better than any restaurant, be it simple as it may, (tasty though) and all of it came from my place 'cept that beer, I felt like a king. Can't afford restaurants, but I can afford it home, including a quality beer whatever it may be. Sometimes those little things are good, so hunting, doing a garden, and other things that don't cost much, really help out the tired spirit. Hard to say why, but home is here and its nice to be around, to enjoy what we do have, and look ahead for better opportunties. Its tough when you can't move and change career, but you have time, I'd keep alert about other things thay may be possible and keep yourself busy, spirits up, it may not be as you want or the best, but your doing fine, somehow try to build off it, think, explore ideas, it helps a lot to focus on positive things.

box of macaroni & cheese and a can of tunafish makes a fine tuna cassarole :roll:

Want to get rich quick?? Count your blessings!! If you have your health, you have it all. I pretty much did the same thing except I farm. Family means everything. Country living is a way of life. Your not missing anything buy not having big bucks. I live by the seat of my pants and so do my kids, we do things together and have a good time, we don't have much extras, but thats ok, it just weights a person down. Have a big garden and burn wood for heat etc. wouldn't have it any other way, to hell with the rich and all there junk, the whole world is out of control, I live on the same land as my dad, Grandfather and Great Grandfather and am just fine with it. I raised 4 kids and had the same thoughts as you are having, it was tight at times, but we made it through. Hang in there and think positive and don't look at all the junk the wealthy have, it's just excess. Live the way god meant man to live. Here's my motto. Learn from the past-Live in the present-Plan for the future. You will be just fine,

Its a tough call sometimes.My father had pretty much the choice you had and I did too,we both elected to stick it out with the farm,bought a couple more farms and I supported myself with an outside job while farming with my dad and putting all I made farming back into the farming operation.I drove used vehicles,lived in a modest house but built some wealth in land and equipment,saved a few bucks,bought some commodities.Now I'm setting pretty good and farm because I want to not because I have to to make a living.My friends from back when and some relatives that gave up farming now have lost most of what they had in the stock market and housing real estate crash,their kids work at Walmart if they can get a job.I'd rather have my situation now than to have driven new cars and trucks and gone to the beach a couple times a year.Some of them that scuffed at me and dad for continuing to
farm and bragged about their new stuff are the ones needing a handout now.Not going to get it from me and when I pass on some of my relatives are going to be very shocked at what they don't get.I wouldn't trade places with anyone.
BTW your kids should consider themselves very lucky,my dad was much like you and sacrificed for his family and nothing that man could have done would have made me think better of him than that.

Dave---I like your philosophy as stated in your second paragraph-----------and your "people skills".
I never had an allowance at home, was let out the door with a whopping $12, and with a little help from a sibling got my start. It's tough, but with God's help, I/we made a moderate life situation and haven't owed a dime to anyone since about 1985. Been married 57 yrs.

Are you really as bad off as you think you are? It is all relative. The media are telling us every day how many people are out of work. Half of all in their twenties don't have jobs.Sure there are many who live very comfortably, but remember this: Nearly everyone spends up to their income. Most of the people who appear to have it made because they have a lot, still want more and feel sorry for themselves because they don't have what others have. You say you believe in God, but do you really have faith? All of the answers are in the Bible and a good starting place for your situation would be Psalm 73. Reading it helped me through a tough patch a few years ago. As for the immediate. Have you thought of part-time self employment? If most people around you appear to be well off there are probably services or jobs that they are looking to have done. Three years ago I suggested to my son that he get set up to wash houses. Look around at how many houses have mildew on all but the south side. If one goes around and drops off flyers a lot of work could be generated.

I suspect this is another case of "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence". You don't know the whole story of many of those you see and-- I think your story will soon be the norm rather than the exception. I agree though, it's hard to see your kids being deprived but maybe they're learning a valuable life lesson on the true value of things.

As many others have said already,I think you may be much richer than you think , dont tear your self up about what could have been, and enjoy your family, Remember the saying,I was feeling sad because I had no shoes till I met a man that had no feet. I think many of us older guys get sad now and then ,and it is sure nice to have this great site to talk it over. Best of luck to you and hang in there.

You did nothing wrong especially to your children. Lots of kids made it through college without mom and dad's help. In today's world I would look at a couple of things in terms of college. First is how is my degree going to help in terms of a good paying job. If it can't then they best look at something else. Second, prestigious schools are nice but there are affordable legitimate schools that carry good reputations with employers. Don't be loaded up with debt.
You did what you could do in terms of a pleasant loving upbringing for your kids and that is most important. The kids will be fine but be honest and frank when they ask about staying close to home.
As others have stated those that appear to be rich may not have it all when a person is able to look at the situation closely.
Right now there is a son of a farmer who works with his dad that on the outside everything looks rosey. All new equipment and lots of acres. As of late the younger farmer has made the statement that he will most likely down size when the father passes. As much as it is known this fellow would like to farm every last acre they currently have it will not be possible when the father passes. The financial situation is not terrible but there simply is not enough life insurance to cover everything plus it is unlikely the son will be able to borrow enough to keep everything. The son expresses it as wanting to not work as hard but those close to the family know different and that the son is having trouble coming to grips with what the future holds.

I too, agree with dave2 there are good career oppurtunities in the military, if not a career at least an chance to learn a skill that can be useful in civilian life, plus college funding is available. the combat infantry is not all the military offers.

(quoted from post at 07:06:15 09/24/11) I too, agree with dave2 there are good career oppurtunities in the military, if not a career at least an chance to learn a skill that can be useful in civilian life, plus college funding is available. the combat infantry is not all the military offers.

Click to expand...

some of the education benefits some of these folks get just makes me sick......... Some are actually getting paid to go to school. Case in point, coworker is retured military and works as a DA Civilian. drawing a decent retirement, very good paycheck, and taking advantage of his GI Bill for education. All well and good and the GI Bill is well deserved. But, on top of that, he is enrolled in a distance learning (internet based) degree program that pays him a housing allowance while enrolled so in addition to not paying for the school, he gets about $1300 a month cost of living allowance..... When he joine the military, the GI Bill personal input was $100 for 12 months....... Military is not a bad choice at all....

(quoted from post at 21:16:21 09/23/11) What is your meaning of home? We all settle in a place for a reason, I guess. Its not important to some, to others its a key life decision. I stayed in my hometown nextdoor to my folks (my wife loves that)for 22 years now. My only brother, 9yrs older, fled when he was 18, and never looked back. The youngest of six I thought I was all set. I am now 49 and the picture isn't so rosy. It has become shockingly aware to me that I will never suceed financially. On my 2 mile long road I count 6 father son neighbor setups, which is great. But, my siblings all chose exciting careers/towns to pursue and became quite comfortable. I stayed, much like George Bailey(minus the friends) in "Its a Wonderful Life. While my siblings made money and set up homes in greener towns with better economies, I went away to school and moved back home to what was "comfortable" and "home". We don't farm, the land is rented, and my dads shop had an anti nepotism policy which is okay with me, so I chose my own career. Now, its not so comfortable. The folks are elderly, slipping, and need my daily monitoring, my job is stagnant, my children are nearing college, the town I live in has been in its own 10 year recession and looks like it has been bombed and my siblings are all very busy in ther happy towns. It is now a fact that I will never be able to retire before I'm 70. I now know I made a poor career choice money wise and I can live with it, but my children will be the ones to suffer. I am around many wealthy people daily that openly flaunt their wealth and it pains me so, not for me, but for my children who may not have the "chance" their kids will get. I see the disappointment in their faces when they see that we cannot buy or go or do what others do. We have never been in a plane, or on a cruise, a restaraunt is a rare treat. We were poor growing up and did without lots, but my dad did good in the end of his job. It has been a bad day, a bad week. The checking account balance is zero. It looks like it will be a bad month, too. My paycheck isn't enough anymore. I am thankful, though. I have a job, believe in God, work hard daily. Am I whining? A little. But I am so tired and weighed down. So, my question is-What is home, and why choose it if it means a sacrifice? Thank you end of rant, Tom

Click to expand...

Home? I'm an Army brat, dad was from the mid west and mom from the east coast. So where is home? I think back on it Home is where we were at the time. Dad retired and we moved to MN. That became home. Then I joined the Army and went to KS, that became home. Then to Germany which became home and on and on from 74 to 96 (3 tours at Ft Riley, 3 in Germany, 1 at Ft Bliss Tx, one in Korea and 1 at Ft Knox not counting deployments). It was home cause thats where my family was. Sure mom and dad were family but when I got married I had a new family. And like a bunch of gypsies that family followed me place to place. Home really is IMO where you hang your hat! Did I make a few bad decisions through the years? Sure, everyone will. It's called a learning experience. Your kids will do what they will do! 2 oldest boys worked thier way through college, one through active service the other through dent of hard work and drive. You ain't gotta put your kids through college......sure you can help but you don't owe that to em!

I know a guy, retired doctor who invested wisely through the years. Now I would call him wealthy. He has 3 kids all doctors. He put all 3 through college. They became doctors with no debt hanging over their heads. His wife died in the early 90's and he has remarried. He built his new wife a new house, very expensive house, real close to 1 million dollars. His kids are mad at him cause he's spending their inheritance! Now there is a big happy family! My kids are telling us don't worry about an inheritance, it's your money, enjoy it!

Just move on.

Rick

If I understand it right, the company your dad worked for had a anti nepotism policy? I think most working folks are feeling that way these days. It's pretty obvious that the wages have been going down for 30 years, and the replacement of pensions with 401K's has been a farce. I guess there's nothing we can do but keep on keeping on. I have no real solutions to offer.

Actually the 401k is a farce IF-----You dont manage it right.
My parents are retired, they arent hurting cause they made wise choices. They also recently bought nursing home insurance. My parents are 69 and 71. My dad retired in 2004. Both in good health. My mom looks 60 dad looks 65. Neither had a pension. Dad had a 401K and he started maxing it out every year when he turned 50.

Think about all the people who pizz away there savings on crap like cigarettes and alcohol. Especially when a pack of smokes is $6, I cant comprehend spending $6 a day to kill myself. (It must be a great feeling to have tobacco in your lungs, I have never smoked)

Diversification is key to investing. Stocks/bonds/cash/ pay off the house.
Pension plans that are run by big companies can go down the crapper too. I trust myself over a bunch of people that run a company, look at GM.

I chased the dream. Dollar signs, house in the suburbs, the right car, etc.... What I found staring me in the face at 40 was it all didnt matter. I was hurt, sick, and watching what I beleived to be everything slipping away. Looking back a half a decade later it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I had the opportunity to help my mom and dad, get back a life and lifestyle I love, be with my dad on his last day on earth, and take care of my mom in her last months.

First of all, Dave 2 has real outlook but then I have another.
I am not sure where home is anymore. I have lived so many different places . Left home at 18, went to college, joined the Air Force for 6 years and then returned home with a bride and kid to start a business.7 years later I sold the very lucrative business to chase the dream and became a consultant for an international company and traveled for 8 years to europe, South America, Canada. Made really good money and spent most of my time away from my family. We mved to Pa., Canada, Texas, back to Pa.. Then I was really respected in my industry. But, I started to drink heavily, got caught up wi the wrong ideas and lost everything when my wife divorced me. Left me homeless, out of work, broke. I was 42.
I left my industry because I was ashamed and started to regain my life, quit drinking and smoking 38 yers ago. Never looked back. Moved to Florida worked some very menial jobs. Married a ditz for about 10 years, moved to a different town. Started three different business and again became successful. Married a third woman who in 25 years spent most of my money on he son wo at 46 continued to live with us and hated me. I returned to Ohio to my roots and although not penniless, live a frugal life because not much left. SO, here I am at home with my cousin and just divorced at 80. BUT, i finally realize I AM HOME.

Scott,

I find all of the comments here on this subject positive, and some more then others, but yours I find unbelievable... how can you say that you have no regrets?

~Will

I have always had an exaggerated sense of home and place, maybe it’s a southern thing. I was reared in the same old country house my mother grew up in, on land my great grandfather began farming after he returned from the Civil War. Poverty is a relative thing, I suppose. We were money poor but land-rich and family rich, and that 220 acres always had a powerful pull on me. On two occasions I left jobs in the big city (Memphis and Houston) to get back nearer my roots.
Life didn’t go as I’d planned, and I found myself starting completely over at age 43---new town , new wife, new child, new job. I started over with nothing; at one point I was living in a storeroom. I was back close to the old homeplace, but by this time my folks had sold it. I was happy for them, but it felt like a part of me had been removed.

Since then I’ve done okay, I guess, I have a nice country place and lots of toys, and I retired last year at age 69. I have some money, but I no longer know what to do with it. The things I thought so urgent and important many years ago hold little or no meaning now. I think that many people early in life have no idea what they really want, or what is truly important to them. In most cases they are chasing someone else's definition of the dream---simply trying to acquire and do what their contemporary society tells them they are supposed to want and to do. If you can discover what you really want and attain it, you then at least have a shot at maybe not happiness, but contentment. The things you feel you have missed out on , had you experienced them, would probably have proven, in retrospect, to have been no big deal. It’s hard to sway kids with that kind of logic, though.

Of all the things you say you’ve missed out on, I’d have to agree that seeing other sights would be at the top of the list. I’ve been blessed to have driven all over this great nation. Never overseas, never really wanted to go. I hope you enjoy the love of your children. Don’t recall that you mentioned a wife, but if you have paired with a woman who is loving and supportive and the object of your tenderest emotions, then you have a jewel beyond price and you are among the richest of men. If she is shrewish and destructive your chances of happiness or contentment are negligible regardless of what financial circumstances attend you.

You are young enough to make many profound changes. As Dave2 said, get your head out of the past and put it into the future. Think your way through this; don’t let despair immobilize you. I don’t know you or your gifts or your skill/knowledge base, but you have plenty of time to improve your lot. That requires doing something different. Repeating what you’ve done for the last 20 years obviously is not going to change anything. Just remember, determine specifically what it is you want, then work to get it. It may not be what you thought it was. In my case I would be very content to live out my life in a one-room log cabin, my porch swing out front and my tool house out back. For me that would be “home”. I wouldn’t feel like I was missing a thing.

There are different kinds of wealth. I spent last week in San Francisco, Oakland, and Berkley. I couldn't wait to get away from that Freak Show and get back to rural Vermont. I remember feeling as you do a few years ago. I worked 48 years and retired. I just about never meet anyone I would trade places with. Married 42 years {same woman} and two great kids. So hang in there and remember the past does not dictate the future. Make changes. Insanity is doing the same old thing and expecting different results. The very best luck to you.

Ill be 74 in 2 weeks.I should have done things differently but I didnt.Would have had a bigger SS check but I did it my way.Had my own tv shop on a rural cross road.Raised a few beef cattle.My daughter did college with a student loan.My son did technical school for electronics.Have 3 grand children in college.Rising prices of every thing are a problem now.The only thing that bothers me that I can keep things up like I used to .Fruit trees dont get sprayed,garden is smaller.I tell my friends to enjoy what they have, dont fuss.

I live 10 miles north of where I grew up. Mom still lives in the house that dad was born and died in. I am the youngest of 8 kids and 5 of us live within 10 miles of "home".

We never had a lot of money, but we were never hungry and always had a dry place to sleep. Somehow, after all of that, mom & dad managed to put away enough money to live better in retirement than they did while working.

Those of us that went to college paid our own way. When we would come home for a rare weekend visit, mom would send us back with a cooler full of meat and food supplies, that was about the only help we got.

I'll be 47 in November, not rich, but doing OK. Our vehicles aren't new anymore, but they are paid for. If everything goes as planned, we'll be debt free by the end of the year. My upbringing (and my wife's) about working hard and making do, taught me as much as my degree from college.

Now, for the sermon:

I hurt my shoulder, loading hogs, about 8 weeks ago. I'm just about back to being about 75%, which is good for where I was at. I always thought it was dopey when people said "as long as you had health, you had everything".

I'll tell you what, I spent 3 nights of not being able to sleep because of the pain. I was just about done in. I have a new respect/understanding for anyone living with real chronic pain, I don't know how they do it. About halfway through the second night of being sleep deprived, I started wondering what it was going to be like to never get better.

The look in my wife's eyes, the morning after my first night of sleep, told me how much she cared and how lucky I am.

I'll never be rich, there will always be someone better off than us, and there will probably always be alot worse off.

Be happy with what you have, work for more but don't let it consume you. My mom always said "You have to grow where God plants you, you just have to be smart enough to know when you're planted". I guess I'm planted.

Keep your chin up.

Sorry for the rambling......

Status is usually when people spend money they don't have to impress people they don't like.
I would say hang in there and consider yourself a success. You and your children have stayed out of jail and have honest vocations/education. You take care of your folks and keep a roof over your head and food on the table.
Better than half the folk in North America and very luxurious by standards around the world today. And you enjoy day to day luxuries that no King had even a few years ago.
I could have done better too but bought a few toys. Worse the trusting fool I am, invested with a family expert in the market. Three guesses how that went.
I'll be 65 or so too before being free and clear. Still I can not and will not complain, life has been very good to my family and myself.