It's tough to get an REALLY accurate measurement of Ohms in such a low resistance with a consumer-grade meter.
That being said, if your coil's primary REALLY measures 4.1 Ohms, this will be better for the points than the 3.3 Ohm coil you THOUGHT would be better. MORE Ohms = less current = longer point life.
(HOW did you figure adding a resistor to the 4.1 Ohm coil would LOWER it's resistance towards the 3.3 Ohms you THOUGH would be idael... were you planning to put it "across" the coil's primary???)
A more accurate way is to measure CURRENT in the primary circuit. With the ignition switch "ON", engine stopped, points closed, typically you don't want to see much over 4 Amps of primary current. Much more will shorten point life and heat the coil, somewhat LESS current will make for a weak spark.
Another factor in point life is a mismatch of condenser and coil. Are the points simply burning, or does one contact point "pit", with a corresponding point of metal being deposited on the other contact point... that would be a sign of the condenser's capacity being mismatched to the specific coil you are using.
Tell us what the failed points look like.