I need your help

Animal

Well-known Member
I have a problem that is driving me nuts. I posted this one the tractor board once, but did not get what I thought were very helpful replies. I do not need jokes or BS I would like some well thought out suggestions, and I know that I can count on you all. I have a young man that works for me and he is a sophomore in high school. You could not ask for a better kid. He is a hard worker and will try his best to do anything asked of him. The problem is his memory. Here is a few examples. Yesterday I went to town and got 2 drums of gasoline as my big tank was empty. I have an old hand pump for a transfer pump and I told him to pump the fuel out of the barrels into my big tank, so he did. Well after dark their is a knock on the door and this kid walks in with tears in his eyes, it was sprinkling out and I asked him what was wrong, He said that he made a big mistake and left the lid on the big fuel tank open and handed me $400 for the fuel. I told him to keep his money that the fuel was alright. Before he came to the house he had shut the lid on the tank. Last Sat. We worked on the garden and hoop house, he did a lot of tilling and I showed him how to make rows and how to plant onion set and water them in. About that time I had a hay customer come and I loaded out some hay. We did not work Easter Sunday and I have been fighting a bad cold, so I stayed in and drank coffee until late morning. When I came out I did my usual thing of checking the chickens and all around the shop and things. When I got to the garden area their were all those onions and not a one covered up, when asked, he forgot. I made my living my whole life working on heavy equipment. Being able to make top money means you have to be on your game. Their is nothing that pi$$es me off more than looking for tools. My thing is being able to go to my box and being able to put my hand right on what I want. When Andy gets done with something that's where it is, when I tell him to put stuff up God only knows where it will be. To put a stop to this I am going to set up a box for me and a small box for him. I just can not work this way anymore. What can I do to bring this kids mind in the game? He is not stupid, but instead he is a product of our education system in this country. The other day we had a ten foot piece of rebar and I needed two three foot pieces out of it. I have been teaching him how to use a chop saw so I gave him the assignment and I wanted to see how he used the saw. He got his tape out and measured off four feet and cut it. Then he stuck the four foot piece in the saw and started to measure, I said what are you doing, he said he was going to cut a three foot piece. I asked him how long was the other piece, and he said six foot, I asked how many three foot pieces do we need and he said two and I said cut the other piece in half, he smiled and said that's good thinking and pulled out the tape to measure half, the next thing I know he is pulling out that cell phone to find out what was half of 72 inches, that when I could not help myself I went off, I said what is half of six he said 3, I said how many feet in a yard and he said 3 and then I said how many inches in a yard, and that my friends stumped his a$$. I really like this kid, no I think I love this boy like a son. So fellas, where do I start this education process. Positive renforcement? Negativity? This is really overwhelming.
 
You continue to do what you are doing. Showing patience and compassion. Does he have a learning disability? Has anyone ever "worked" with him before and showed him practical applications for math? He apparently respects you enough to keep coming back and has morals if he was willing to cough up $400. That's a lot more then MOST nowadays.
 
I really do not think he has any learning disabilities, I do not think that he has been taught to use his noggin. He has a brother that is a straight A student, but I do not think Andrew has been taught properly just how much math skills are needed every day. He is in a second year shop class and their projects are building bird houses, not out of wood but out of clay and then they are firing them, I guess you would have to call them ceramic. How in the he11 can you be in second year shop class and not know how to check the oil in a garden tiller. I just don't get it.
 
Keep working with him. I wasn't too far from that when I was in high school.

I had the pleasure of working with an old crotchety retired union carpenter for about 4 years. He would yell all the time, but I took it. When it was time to move on, I felt like I was worthless.

The thing is, at my next job, I was so far ahead of any other guy my age, I was promoted three times in 2 years.

I still hang out with the old carpenter from time to time, and every time I try to thank him, he calls me a dummy.

I guess some things never change.
 
His parents probably never taught him anything. My boss' three kids grew up on a small ranch. They don't even know what a cow is.
 
No, his parents are swell people, both working two jobs to make ends meet. Their children are very well behaved and mannerly.
 
Animal, like others have said, I think you are making a world of difference for him.. he's at that age where they are very forgetful, but he's learning from you what no amount of schooling can provide and that's experience.
 
Heck, I've been known to be forgetful. Dont be to hard. Sounds like he needs to be worked with, and thats what you are already doing. So keep on working with him. Let him know that you expect things to be done right and the way you want it done. He is at the right age where he needs to get it now, or he might not ever get it.
 
Animal,
I'm a high school ag teacher. I work with boys like this (about 90 a day for 14 years now) a lot. I would say you have a fairly common boy that is trying to become a young man. His integrity and sense of responsiblity are shown in how he tried to pay for the fuel.

Many of these boys simply have never been given the chance to learn how to work and have not learned how to think, plan, remember instructions etc. that goes with work. They are learning the things my 6 year old son is learning (tonight he came with me while we fixed fence for an hour, held tools, passed nails etc). They simply didn't have the opportunity to learn them as a grade school boy and are learning them as a 16 year old instead. We all still have to learn them sometime when we start we just don't all start at the same age.
Emphasize to him the costs that his mistakes make and the lost time and effort. Make sure he knows you are teaching him not blaming him. Pray for patience and this will be good for both of you.

I don't know anything about this young man but if he's like most of the boys I teach. He: has not much for male role model, lives in town or on a small lot and no chance to learn to work, has not had to pay any bills/expenses and see what efficiency looks like, has not ever really been chewed out/fired for his errors. It's a shame that we have a society where a boy doesn't really get to learn to become a man until its almost too late.
 
"I really like this kid, no I think I love this boy like a son."

That's a good start, keep doing what you are doing.
 
Keep in mind that our school system does not teach kids to think at all. They teach kids to cover the material and pass a test but, not to think for themselves.

The thinking comes from real life experiences and that is what you are giving him. Good luck.
 
I got about the same thing here Animal.The kid is 20 and has been working for me for 3 years now. As others have said, the education system teaches nothing practical at all, but the kid has a reading and comprehension issue and effects his speach a little also. That aside, he can problem solve and do perform other task that ordinary kids would find difficult. I started making him read through service manuals, and also write down instructions I gave him and then I proof read what he wrote down. It really worked. He still forgets stuff often but the alternative of getting some one else is worse. He just loaded a hay customers pick up the other night with a round bale and broke the guys rear window- cost me $640.
 
Ya woun"t get anywhere with negative enforcement. Common sense is whats lacking and you will have to be the teacher. In school he learned the three r"s plus where they think the world came from but no common sense because the education system don"t have any either. Tell him that starting today he will earn a wage plus learn common sense. See how he reacts. that will tell a lot.
 
You need to go get an estimate for a rear window for that truck from a good body shop. I think250 would cover it.
 
Because most schools have scrapped most traditional "shop" classes in favor of crap such as he is doing. For years kids were discouraged from taking shop because as everybody knows, one can only achieve success by attending a 4 year college. Afterall, only morons need to know how to work with their hands. Thus this mentality in public education for the last 25 years or so has given shop courses a bum rap, and alas since they cost a hell of a lot more to run than your average English class, many schools have shut down their shops and replaced them with a glorified art class or a tinker-toy class. Pitiful.
 
The only thing I can add to what some of the others have said is to "make him a list"...on paper. Make sure he remembers he has the list and check things off as he goes. Be patient with him and try to "teach" as well as tell. What does he say when you ask him howcome he forgets things?
 
Animal, I've read your posts over the years and you seem like a good man who likes to solve problems. So here's my .02.
I taught for 36 years before I retired. My rule was: whoever showed up on my doorstep to learn, well I figured God put them there so I did my best to educate them. Everyone, and I mean everyone we meet, has a different skill set, attributes, and alleged weaknesses. Everyone is also at a different place in their journey. Helping them get the most out of who they are affects the rest of their life!
1.If the young man shows difficulty remembering what you tell him to do, then help him "see" what needs done. Get HIM to write it down; on a notepad, on his phone, etc.. He needs to be able to check on his own, as he needs, to succeed!
2. A sincere "pat on the back" goes a hell of alot farther then negative. If you have to say something negative, always address the action, not the person. And when he comes up short, help HIM figure out a solution. This process takes a little more time, but pays off with a person who develops the skills to think and adapt as they become a man.
I taught over 4000 students in those years and would like to think most of them benefited from those simple ideas.
Dave
 
(quoted from post at 10:19:47 04/23/14) I really do not think he has any learning disabilities, I do not think that he has been taught to use his noggin. He has a brother that is a straight A student, but I do not think Andrew has been taught properly just how much math skills are needed every day. He is in a second year shop class and their projects are building bird houses, not out of wood but out of clay and then they are firing them, I guess you would have to call them ceramic. How in the he11 can you be in second year shop class and not know how to check the oil in a garden tiller. I just don't get it.

most shop classes now are wood shop, not auto or small engines those got the axe when money got tight. this is coming from a highschooler of now
 
We started with the lists this week and it sure seems to help, and I think in the not to distant future, I will dictate the chores to him so he can write his own list. When I confront him on something he has forgotten, he really doesn't offer an explanation, but it embarrasses him.
 
Sounds like he wants to learn and work for you if he keeps coming back. Probably has no responsibilities at home and he feels left out of the family. He is still pretty young being in the second year of high school. You must be a good guy to work for. Think you are going in the right direction.
 
I don't post much here, but been reading this forum for a long time. I know what your going through. I run a small job shop from my farm. We build cabinets, pallets, make hay, grow a big garden, cows, goats,tomatos you get the picture. I have went through this many times and would just tell you to be patient. Teach and train him. Sometimes you got to stop and do a quick lesson on how to read a tape measure, how to put up tools, how to roll up an extension cord, etc. I have two young men that I have mentored and a 17 yr old son also. These are the things that really mean something in life. I am proud of some of my "Students" They will return the favor one day and be proud of you too (probably when you are dead and gone) Keep at it and be patient. I am so thankful for my Dad, Uncle Bill and Uncle LC that invested in this red headed stepchild! Keep at it and don't loose faith.
 
Kids can't remember more than 1 thing at a time until they are taught to. I, successfully, taught my son by only giving him one task at a time, then 2,3,4 etc. Took many years and lots of patience. A written list that you dictate works perfect.

Another technique I used was to ask him to stop, look, and think about what your doing and or have just done.

The tool thing made me crazy. I ended up with MY set that he was not to touch and his set that I made him responsible for. I bought his original set and made him replace any he lost. I taught him to carry a 5 gallon bucket as a tool box for projects away from the shop. The rule is the tool is either in your hand or in the bucket. NOT on the ground,fence post,tractor hood etc.

Have patience and you'll have a custom trained hand.
 

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