In 1965 our family purchased 4 plots in our cemetery. I recently took a visit to check them out and was shocked to find someone was buried in my grave site. Called the manager of the cemetery who said they would be willing to bury me in the walkway area. What chance do I have to get them to move the other guy to his proper spot so I can be buried with my family? This is in Wisconsin. Anyone have a similar experience? Thanks
- Thread starter No Grave
- Start date
Blackhole49
Well-known Member
- Location
- White Lake MI
If you have a deed for the lot, make them correct their mistake and move him. If not, take the walkway.
Billy Shafer
Well-known Member
Just be glad it is not you. But I understand what you mean. If you have a contract they should honor it. I know in Texas if you buy a plot it is yours.
sounds like a breach of contract I would offer to raise a GREAT BIG STINK if the manager will not make things right I dont think that you ought to let them walk all over you now and forever, if they plant you in the walkway where will the marker go? there was something that went on in chicogo i think where a cemitary was doing some kind of hinkey stuff two people to a grave and moving people out of older gravesites. dont let them get away with it!
BDT in Minnesota
Member
Tell the manager that you are dead serious; and he had better dig into the matter and get it fixed. That manager is supposed to oversee the care and up-keep of your plot and that cemetary..
their goof,
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
check to see if the other guy is where he should be . could be a selling scam. you may uncover many plots that have been sold to different families . the first to pass gets the spot.this kind of thing has been going on for years . keep us informed.
Nancy Howell
Well-known Member
Definitely make them correct the mistake NOW.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Don't sweat the small stuff. Just get yourself planted in the other hole and switch headstones.......
Just kidding
I wouldn't cut them any slack.
Dave
Just kidding
I wouldn't cut them any slack.
Dave
It will probably take a court order to exhume the other guy. His family will likely fight it. Some people feel very strongly that moving the existing guy would be desecrating his grave, others don't think its a big deal. If the walkway is adjacent to your family members go ahead and take it.
When my Dad ran heavy equipment he got called to dig graves. A very old cemetery was running out of room so they started selling plots between existing graves if the existing graves weren't family members. Anyway, their own grave diggers freaked out after they pulled up a few coffin handles with the backhoe. Thats when they called my Dad.
I've also heard of family members being buried two deep recently. Again, that's happening in old cemeteries that are out of room.
When my Dad ran heavy equipment he got called to dig graves. A very old cemetery was running out of room so they started selling plots between existing graves if the existing graves weren't family members. Anyway, their own grave diggers freaked out after they pulled up a few coffin handles with the backhoe. Thats when they called my Dad.
I've also heard of family members being buried two deep recently. Again, that's happening in old cemeteries that are out of room.
Paul in MN
Well-known Member
The same thing happened to my grave. We bought a family plot of 4 graves and my mother was interred in the first lot. I went to visit her grave on Mother's Day a few years ago and found a new grave had been dug on my spot. It turned out that the same funeral director had burried my Mother and this young girl who had committed suicide. Of course her family was devastated by her loss. I had our funeral director solve the legals and logistics, and especially to deal with the other family. It turned out that the guy who kept the cemetery records had been on a week or so of vacation, and the local priest (church cemetery) misread the cemetery map and assigned my site to the other family thinking it was open for sale. It seems that each state has its own cemetery laws, so the solution we got may not apply in your case.
Specifics: The young girl had been cremated, which made a big difference according to law. Thus the laws which apply to a full internment do not apply, and the grave can be moved without any legal stuff happening. So the priest called the other family together and confessed his huge error. The priest, funeral director, her family, and the grave digger were present all at the same time to move her remains (in a small concrete box) to a nearby grave site. So the priest consecrated the new site, and all was done with total compassion, respect, and understanding. The funeral director sure earned his dollars on that one! (At no additional cost to either family).
I hope you can get a satisfactory solution which respects the dead and their family. But as you are not close to passing (I hope!), taking the more time consuming way to make it right is probably the best thing to do.
Paul in MN
Specifics: The young girl had been cremated, which made a big difference according to law. Thus the laws which apply to a full internment do not apply, and the grave can be moved without any legal stuff happening. So the priest called the other family together and confessed his huge error. The priest, funeral director, her family, and the grave digger were present all at the same time to move her remains (in a small concrete box) to a nearby grave site. So the priest consecrated the new site, and all was done with total compassion, respect, and understanding. The funeral director sure earned his dollars on that one! (At no additional cost to either family).
I hope you can get a satisfactory solution which respects the dead and their family. But as you are not close to passing (I hope!), taking the more time consuming way to make it right is probably the best thing to do.
Paul in MN
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions.
My Brother is in the first grave...then my father is in the next grave, my Mother is in the 3rd grave and some stranger is in my grave next to her.I suppose in 30 years no one will care or even notice .....but right now I have a funny feeling about the situation and wish it didn't happen. Here's hoping they can make it right. Thanks
My Brother is in the first grave...then my father is in the next grave, my Mother is in the 3rd grave and some stranger is in my grave next to her.I suppose in 30 years no one will care or even notice .....but right now I have a funny feeling about the situation and wish it didn't happen. Here's hoping they can make it right. Thanks
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
When you dead --- your dead --- and won't know any difference if you where buried in the barn.
buickanddeere
Well-known Member
I would spell that "DEAD" serious.
cadet trooper
Well-known Member
Old cemetaries used the best technologies available at the time so now with the GPS technology I see this becoming more of a problem since the word sextant which required someone to to locate the north star and calculate locations went away with that profession's disappearance. In summary as my buddy always says "funerals and cemetaries are for the living not the dead" so I would consult your family for direction.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
I agree if you pre bought that grave site, it is your grave site. I would force the issue to have the other person and their headstone moved from YOUR grave site. Dave
There was a fellow who's name was ODD! So, when he died, the tomb-stone maker had already been instructed, by Odd when he was still alive, to put on his tomb-stone:"Here lies the body of ---.
Of course, everybody who looked at that tombstone knew exactly who was buried there! They'd say:" Thats odd!" ;0)
Of course, everybody who looked at that tombstone knew exactly who was buried there! They'd say:" Thats odd!" ;0)
To late now but if when they were bought you could have gotten your marker problem would have been taken care of. My wife and I are maried 32 years and when Dad bought for him and mom they bought for us as well, They are both gone for close to 20 years and about 15 years ago ( I was in early 50's and wife in mid 40's at time, I am now 67) when we had a bit extra money we bought and had placed our marker and anybody would know if the name on the marker was different than the person being buried there would be something wrong.
burn your body to ASH and have a hole dig right over him!
My mother's family owns a cemetery and My mother's family were place in different cemetery they had to pay for it even they had a family cemetery for free to any family members! anyway My parents are planning to be place in this family cemetery I told them to get me and my wife a place next to them! and it's writen..
My mother's family owns a cemetery and My mother's family were place in different cemetery they had to pay for it even they had a family cemetery for free to any family members! anyway My parents are planning to be place in this family cemetery I told them to get me and my wife a place next to them! and it's writen..
john in la
Well-known Member
You guys need to get graves like we have.
There has been 7 or more family members buried (grand parents; great grand parents; ect..) in the grave I will one day lay in. Most likely will be even more moving in after me.
There has been 7 or more family members buried (grand parents; great grand parents; ect..) in the grave I will one day lay in. Most likely will be even more moving in after me.
james rumph
Member
Why havn't you removed this ? You remove everything else that doesn't agree with this formum. Double standard ....
I got your number ...
I got your number ...
Jim in Ma.
Well-known Member
Laws differ from State to State - I am superintendent of a local cemetery here in Ma.
In this State you get a recorded deed when you buy a lot. That would be your proof of ownership.
Mistakes can be made and should be corrected.
As someone mentioned above - there are quite a few cemeteries in this area running out of room and burying people in what we call double deep grave sites.
In this State you get a recorded deed when you buy a lot. That would be your proof of ownership.
Mistakes can be made and should be corrected.
As someone mentioned above - there are quite a few cemeteries in this area running out of room and burying people in what we call double deep grave sites.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Doesn't every cemetary have a sextant in charge of the cemetary. He should have all the records of who owns what plot and all the measurements to mark it right down to the inch. If its a church cemetary then the church would have the records kept there but usually someone from the parish holds the duty of sextant anyway. In our cemetary, we can be under three feet of snow and with a few simple measurements from known markers on the grounds, we can find anybodys plot before the backhoe arrives.
If you don't have a case of digging in the wrong spot, then maybe you have a paperwork problem.
Again the sextant should have all the records of who owns what where. One of our family plots was purchased by a relative over a hundred years ago and its in the record for all to see. Any family member with the same last name can use the pre-paid and unused plots if they so desire. My point being, if you or your family member/s purchased a specific plot/plots, then its yours and there has to be a record of it somewhere that proves it. All the plots are numbered from day one so there shouldn't be any mistake. A few of our graves are unmarked because the family members never bought a marker or so and so never had any family to do so, but we still know exactly where they are buried even without a marker because its carefully recorded in those records, so no excuse for putting someone where they don't belong.
Another example, my folks bought their own plots before my Dad passed. They bought a block of ten plots together and said any child or grandchild could use the other eight as needed. First come, first served. Otherwise buy your own if you want a different area in the cemetary or if you have a family of five who want to be buried together and there's only three spots left when the time comes. So you've obviouly been wronged if they bury some stranger in your family plot where your family has planned ahead for decades as to who goes where. They gotta go find their own dirt to rest them tired bones.
If you don't have a case of digging in the wrong spot, then maybe you have a paperwork problem.
Again the sextant should have all the records of who owns what where. One of our family plots was purchased by a relative over a hundred years ago and its in the record for all to see. Any family member with the same last name can use the pre-paid and unused plots if they so desire. My point being, if you or your family member/s purchased a specific plot/plots, then its yours and there has to be a record of it somewhere that proves it. All the plots are numbered from day one so there shouldn't be any mistake. A few of our graves are unmarked because the family members never bought a marker or so and so never had any family to do so, but we still know exactly where they are buried even without a marker because its carefully recorded in those records, so no excuse for putting someone where they don't belong.
Another example, my folks bought their own plots before my Dad passed. They bought a block of ten plots together and said any child or grandchild could use the other eight as needed. First come, first served. Otherwise buy your own if you want a different area in the cemetary or if you have a family of five who want to be buried together and there's only three spots left when the time comes. So you've obviouly been wronged if they bury some stranger in your family plot where your family has planned ahead for decades as to who goes where. They gotta go find their own dirt to rest them tired bones.
We have has a similar situation as my Wife's Brother died when he was 3 mo old He was buried on the lower section where other babies are buried For low income purposes of the early 50's.
"Sextant" said his position was changed several times, and that some records may not be accurate.
His very uncouth, unprofessional reply was "pick one."
The cost of finding out for sure Isn't feasible because our fixed income.
We Have set a stone where her Sister believes it may be. and we will never know for sure.
"Sextant" said his position was changed several times, and that some records may not be accurate.
His very uncouth, unprofessional reply was "pick one."
The cost of finding out for sure Isn't feasible because our fixed income.
We Have set a stone where her Sister believes it may be. and we will never know for sure.
fixerupper
Well-known Member
In Iowa you have to go through legal channels to have a body removed from a grave. When Marilyn's brother passed away the grave was dug one spot to the south of where it was supposed to be. His wife and children noticed the mistake right away when they arrived at the cemetery after the funeral but by then they couldn't change it so they went ahead with the graveside service and he was buried in that wrong grave. The cemetery is owned by the church so when she got back to the church after the burial she immediately notified the curch officials of the mistake and told them she wanted him moved to the right spot ASAP. It took a few days to get it done because the legal process had to be worked through even though they were witnesses to the mistake. Jim
Adirondack case guy
Well-known Member
Well all you guys thay want to look up at the roots of flowers and granite foundations " enjoy"!! I plan on being creamated, and my ashes spread all over the area that I have posted pics. of. After death, I will be part the living earth,looking down at natures beauty, not looking up out of that hole in the ground.
Blackhole49
Well-known Member
- Location
- White Lake MI
On a side note, are you sure that just a marker hasn't been put in the wrong place? We've made that mistake.
check the records and make sure that there is indeed somebody burried there, [if it isnt obvious[, as already noted it might be a case of a headstone being put in the wrong spot, if not talk with whoever owns the cemetary, if theres a body in your grave, then someone else in missing one in there family spot, its important as burry places at least out here are forever, and you dont want to spend forever with folks you dont know
Had a similar experience at our plots in Ohio. Since we live in Texas, we rarely visit to verify any issues. Some years back when my Grandad was living, he gave a plot to his then ladyfriend who cared for him for years. Upon the death of my Mom a few years ago, I discovered that plot had been sold by her (she had remarried and did't want it any longer) to a dealer who sold it to an individual. Fortunatly the buyer had not used it yet, and was willing to sell it back to our family (with a small profit of course) but at least we got it back. This is a plot of 10 spaces together so it was important to us. I promptly went and ordered markers for my wife and myself as well as our two sons. (there were only 4 unused or unclaimed plots remaining) My wife and I now have a nice double marker and the other 2 plots have single markers for our sons with name and DOB. The odds of our sons ever using either aren't good, but at least with a marker I feel better no mistakes will be made. BTW, this is a very old cemetary with huge stand up markers. Our plots are in the old area and more of our family is buried near these. Grandad is the one that bought this plot of 10 when my Grandma passed in the late 40's. This place is run by the city and keeps excellent records so I probably didn't have anything to be concerned with, but the markers really make me feel better.
IFin the plot was not recorded at the court house ie., Iowa by the buyer and the present buried person has recorded the plot you are not the owner of record. Seen the Oak ridge grave yard in chicago made the news tooo much to explain other than over seers dug of the bodied and just placed them on the surface on the back (is) the short story.
Sammy in Kansas
Member
I have been on the local Cemetery Bd. of Directors for 14 years now and our long time Sexton passed away very sudden with Cancer and we have had several since and have discovered mistakes and I know of two people that were off by just a 1/2 to a whole grave and we had to relocate those. They were not bad as the mistakes had been caught before they had been in there to long and were in PVC vaults.
When a lot is sold you are issued a deed and it is in our record, you have a copy, but nothing is filed at the courthouse. We also do not allow to transfer lots to one another as you lose track of who has what, we have a policy that if the lot is no longer wanted, and the owner wants to sell it, it will be purchased back by the Cemetery for the org. purchase price less 25.00 for paper work. That way we have contsant record over the ownership.
WE did have a family want to relocate a burial that had been buried for 30 years and let me tell you that is sometime I would hope to never see again. The lady died at a very young age with cancer and the husband only bought one lot. Now years later the daughter who was a small child then now wanted to get plots together so both mother and dad could be together as there were no longer any more close by. She bought two lots together in the same Cemetery and we moved her mother. In Colorado, as long as they disinterment is not leaving the confines of the org. cemetery, the red tape is next to nothing, but again that grave had no liner or vault and there was the same as nothing left of most of that casket.
When a lot is sold you are issued a deed and it is in our record, you have a copy, but nothing is filed at the courthouse. We also do not allow to transfer lots to one another as you lose track of who has what, we have a policy that if the lot is no longer wanted, and the owner wants to sell it, it will be purchased back by the Cemetery for the org. purchase price less 25.00 for paper work. That way we have contsant record over the ownership.
WE did have a family want to relocate a burial that had been buried for 30 years and let me tell you that is sometime I would hope to never see again. The lady died at a very young age with cancer and the husband only bought one lot. Now years later the daughter who was a small child then now wanted to get plots together so both mother and dad could be together as there were no longer any more close by. She bought two lots together in the same Cemetery and we moved her mother. In Colorado, as long as they disinterment is not leaving the confines of the org. cemetery, the red tape is next to nothing, but again that grave had no liner or vault and there was the same as nothing left of most of that casket.
Anonymous-0
Well-known Member
Don't you even think about dying untill this is all sorted out!!
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