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Rude people

A

Anonymous-0

Well-known Member
Am I wrong about what I think about this subject? It seems like everytime we meet new people from "town", and they find out that we are farmer/ranchers, the first question they will almost always ask is how many acres do you have or how many cows do you have? Isn't this asking a very personal question? I think it is kind of like asking someone how much money they have in their savings account. Whenever someone asks, I always answer "not enough" or "too much" depending how the economy is going. I believe this info is between my banker and me. Am I overly sensitive on this? Just wonder if I am off base.
 
I think it's a fairly innocent question, just making conversation. While it wouldn't bother me, I can see where it might some folks.

Bottom line is, it's your business, and if you want to keep it to yourself, that's your right.

But then, I started out with nothing and I've still got most of it.
 
Step back a minute and look at it from the outside. You meet someone who isn"t familiar with you or your "way of life". They live on 1/4 acre lots, some bigger, some smaller. Don"t you think if you lived in town it would be a reasonable (and possibly amazing) question to ask how much land you own?

"Oh, wow, you"re a farmer, I don"t know much about that, how much land do you own, what do you do there?"

Kind of like seeing someone"s nice looking car and saying, "what year is that thing". Chill out. There"s plenty of rude people out there, leave the innocent ones alone.
 
I grew up on a farm so I can relate to your feelings. one way to look at it is that alot of people really have no idea on what's involved with farming. So they ask an ovious question
 
I think you have to remember that most people from "town" think of the basics, when finding out you have a farm. Some don't have the slightest idea what a farm can be, so all they know is farms have acreage, livestock, produce. You might do well and enlighten them. They might be just interested, and want to know more!
 
My daughter gave ma a box for Christmas. It is a block of wood with a lid on it. Says "for the man who has nothing, here is a box to put it in".
 
As previously stated, 9/10th's of the time it's an innocent question.
They are from an other world and don't know. It will be only too easy for yourself to inadvertently ask or say something annoying to them city people as well.
 
I can see where people would consider those questions rude. I am 31 and can remember my grandparents lecturing me on this very subject. In this day and age people have more land than years past. There used to be many 80-160 acre farms but today if aren't over 500 acres you just don't seem to be part of the "club" and are just a "hobby" farmer.
I think what they are trying to find out is if you are a "hobby" farmer or if you are the "real deal". That is just my opinion.
You are right in your response. "I'm big enough" or "not too big" sounds just as good.
 
i posted a question like that a couple months ago, about half the people said how much they owned and were happy to talk about it, the half acted liked i was asking how much money they had in the bank and how much there wife weighed ,guess it all depends who you talk. i live on a small farm if someone asks me im happy to tell them how many acres and how much livestock i have
 
People don't realise they are being rude to you. It is a personal question, kinda like when people hear that we have a maple sugaring operation, they want to know immediatly how many taps we have, how much syrup we make, and how much we sell it for.

Your not the only one who doesn't like to say, in fact, most of the big farmers I know don't broadcast how much land they own. I personally know one guy who has bought out around 5 small farms to make a big dairy operation who won't tell people who ask. He was quoted as saying "I don't own it, it owns me." to one guys asking about his acreage.
 
I suppose if you're a short horned feller..it would probably bother you when asked 'how big' is yours. 'Big enough' would probably be your answer before you ran to pee behind the bushes. However, if well endowed you'd probably be more than glad to boast about how big it is.

Plain fact of the matter it is; it really don't matter! You can answer 5 as easy as 12.....inches or acres, barns or tractors.

Stuffy a$$ed people are like those too tight to run the furnace in the winter.....cold and miserable.
 
nosey people. Can you tell me how you collect the maple sap? Do you collect it in buckets or use the hose system? How many gallons do you get off a single tree? Does the age of the tree make any difference in production? Does your wife and kids help with the harvest? Do you have a favorite tree?
 
I have a complete different take on this. I do crop insurance adjusting. I get on 2-3 farms a week on average. Sometimes 10 or 12. Missouri, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. We generally try to find something to "break the ice". I have been to several seminars or training meetings where it was suggested to always try to find something to compliment the farmer on. Everyone has something that they are proud of or something that they have obviously put a lot of effort into. This method has served me well for 32 years now.

Not trying to be nosy. Just show that I am interested in them. If I can see it is something the person is not interested in talking about, we move on. 99% of the time I find people love to talk about their operation, their family history, etc.

But again, I am talking farmer to farmer so to speak. Maybe that's the difference.


Gene
 
I think it's a pretty innocent question. I have neighbors that have huge farms, but I have never asked how big. I don't talk about my business all that much, either. But I don't get too upset if somebody asks. Small children sometimes ask very personal questions.
 
Lets see. 1)All buckets 2)depends on the location and the mast of the tree. 3)yes, the big old trees that get lots of sunlight typically produce lots more sap provided the tree isn't so old that most of the top is dead. 4)what wife and kids? 5)yes, I do have a favorite tree.

I don't hate the people that ask questions, just I do get annoyed how into my business some people are. The worst are members of my own extended family whom I got to meet tomorrow. They don't see me all year, but when they do they drive me insane with questions.
 
No offense is intended, and none should be taken. Sure, someone familiar with farming might be able to figure out a lot of personal information by your answer. But to someone who isn't in the business your answers are about as useful as if they'd asked you "how far away is the moon". They have no point of reference. They would not know that in some places a few acres might mean a huge operation, while somewhere else thousands of acres would be a subsistence operation.
 
In the part of North Dakota where my farm is it is not normally considered rude. Asking a farmer about the farm is like asking anyone else about their job. Everyone is running around with a Plat Book/ directory in their pickup anyway, it is easy enough to look it up. New Plat Books are great, makes starting up a conservation with someone you haven't see in a long time real easy. For example "Igor, I see your ex-wife got the 1/2 section by the home place in your divorce settlement" or " I see your sister owns it now, did your mom really sell it out from under you for $75 an acre ?". The kind of insight a Plat Book provides always starts a conversation, espically if spoken in a Bar. They provide hours of entertainment.
 
When I was 16 I went to work in a factory. I was innocent of any of the usual vices. Many of the other workers in the other departments would question me anout my social life and would ask me the most personal questions about my lack of conquests. The worst offender was the foreman of one of another department who would ask me the same questions several times a day. One Saturday night I showed up at his house and took his cute little blonde daughter to the movie. Mext Monday morning on my first trip through his department one of the line workers asked me the same embarassing question and the foreman lost all interest in my social life. For the curious, the answer was "NO"
 
When I went to the court house to pay the taxes, real estate, and neighbor followed me in and stood there until she told me what my taxes were.
I am a very private person and I thought this was stupid on the persons part, there have been other times when I would like to tell them friend or not to get lost. My business is none other than my own and my wifes..It is rude. I do not like to listen to other peoples conversations on their phone either. thank you
 
no I do not believe you are overreacting. It seems that people around me are nosy too. It never fails that when they see you have bought something that they ask "how much did you have to pay for that?" I hear many people asked that about things and many seem not to mind sharing that info, but I do not share that kind of stuff. I in turn NEVER ask guys that, heck, what do I need to know that for...not to mention I don't care what they pay for their junk.
 
Yes, you are overreacting and being oversensitive. Are you on medical female hormone therapy program by any chance?
 
I guess maybe "rude" was the wrong word to use. I don't have a problem talking about our operation, I just don't think anybody needs to know the "financial" part of it. And the amount of acres and number of cows are a financial aspect. Kind of crops and breed of cows aren't. When we plant and harvest aren't. I LOVE to talk to others about what we do, I just don't think the amount of things we own need to be explained. I am proud of what I do. I guess the way I was brought up, you don't ask certain questions.(i.e. woman's age, who you voted for, how much do you make.) If you want to give details that is up to you, like not giving some details is up to me. I have a very small saving's account at the bank, but I wouldn't dream of asking Donald nnalert how much money he has in his saving account as an ice breaker for a conversation. And to the guy that made the comment about the nice car, yes I might ask what year it is, but I would never ask how much it cost to restore it. To me it is a much different question, kind of like "what kind of cows do you raise?" and "how many cows do you raise?". To me one is a curious question and the other is a personal question. But maybe I'm just old-fashioned!!! (0)(0)'s intrigue me, but I would NOT ask Dolly Parton how big hers are!!!!
 
I am a heavy duty mechanic and often get asked "who do you work for" and "what do you work on" that is no worse than your problem and I just answer honestly. Are you ashamed about what you have?? If so maybe you should change your job.By the way you can have a thousand acres and a thousand cows and have a thousand dollars or no dollars, only you know. So enjoy life.
 
I think it really depends upon the people. As some have said, most non-farmers have no idea what to say to someone whose livelyhood is so foreign to their own. I wouldn"t be offended by the questions about land and numbers of livestock, but would use it as an opportunity to talk about what is entailed in your profession. I would think a lot of folks would find many issues of your work fascinating. However, if they follow up asking how much you net in a year, I"d walk away.
 
Its really a local thing. I know certain areas where it is considered terribly rude to ask that. Here its no. In fact thats generally the first two things a farmer volunteers when you meet him.
 
To me, it all depends on who is asking and the way they ask it, but asking how much land you have always seems like a nosy question to me. I don't get bent out of shape about it, but I do find it to be in poor taste. A lot of people ask me questions like that and for the most part they mean it in an innocent way, but I have run across a fair amount of jacka$$es too. I don't think it's too hard to tell the difference. My brother had an encounter with a not so nice guy the other day at a local plumbing supply store who asked how much land we have. He just told him "enough."
 
(quoted from post at 19:40:17 12/31/08) In most Towns you can got to town web-site and it shows taxes.
Click to expand...
As well as how many acres, lien holder, house square feet, and whether taxes are paid up to date or delinquent.
 
In the West, asking how many cows you run or how many acres you own are considered rude questions and usually don't get a specific answer.
 
It's the same way here in the South, but a lot of people don't have the home training to know not to ask. I think it's kind of like asking somebody how much money they make.
 
I don't think most folks asking the question really cares how much or how many.They're just plain makin' innocent small talk.
 
Like I said earlier, I am more than happy to answer questions about our operation, such as how do you do this or why do you do that, but to me, "how many acres" and "how many cows" is the same type of questioning as "what did you net last year?". Just my opinion!!
 
If somebody really wanted to know how many acres you have they would just go to the county website and look it up. Ours shows acres, square feet in the house and all sorts of other mundane information. People ask me all the time but it doesn't bother me. Just sounds like a friendly person asking a friendly question.

Ichabod
 
Uh,C-man -how many acres DO you own and how many cows DO you have? OOPS! (I thought you were Maybe hinting that you would like to tell us.)

Actually, around here the true farmers usually don't mind that question. If they think a person's being nosy, they kinda just evade the question. However, the investor "farmers" do resent it. One of my favorite responses that I heard from an old farmer years ago:

"Son, I don't own no land. I just have it borrowed from the Lord until I don't need it no more or he wants it back".
 
Some other posters have covered my view it's an innocent question. When you're talking to someone around here who mentions they bought a new house, 'bout the first question you ask is how big is the lot.

If it's taboo in your area, maybe the best thing is to just politely let 'em know those things aren't discussed around here. Instead of letting them leave a string of irritated people behind.

Most people couldn't translate cows or acres into money.

If you have someone who wants to dig, they're gonna hit public records like tax records, and they're gonna hit databases like the EWG's subsidy database http://farm.ewg.org/farm/ that covers stuff like subsidies, disaster payments, and CRP.
 
Most of the time if it's some one you don't know from Adam they are just try'n to make conversation. Like when you meet some one who works in a factory and some one ask "what do you make there?"

If it's some one like my city inlaws or distant family and I feel like they are being rude and I don't want to talk to them about it I give the old "Not enough" or "too much" as stated already.

Ran in to an old buddy from college yesterday at an auction. We got to catch'n up. I asked what he was do'n these days and he is at Perdue finish'n up his PhD. Then he asked if I still had cows and how much tobacco I was up to. I did not think it was rude, just show'n intrest.

Dave

Dave
 
I would rank that as extremly sensitive. In my entire life, I never heard of anyone being offended by those type of general questions.

We all have senistive issues that difffer greatly, and friends usualy avoid the topic if they know it bothers you.


Who the heck am I kidding, my friends and myself, we go out of our way trying to make coments that should offend. Thats what buddies do best.

That being said, a friend took a course in college dealing with behavior patterns etc. She asked me what the true breakdown of a personel slam was. Very simple! If you say something way over the line to a friend, it indeed says I trust our friendship enough to (go there) and not offend. A very strong sign of a great friendship.

I don't have a divorced male friend that I don't tell them....I seen your ex-wife the other day, and Da...mn she looks hot, think I might ask her out! Yea that is usualy followed by the sign language finger. Might as well kick a buddy when they are down, cause it can always be get even time for them down the road.

And by all measures, there are some very mean folks as you can witness on this board, but very seldom I might add.
 
C-man,

I live and small time farm in one of those areas where city people have been moving to for the past 20 or so years. They don't usually have a clue as to what land or cows are worth, and most of them don't know the difference between a beef cow and a milk cow. Many think all cows are milk cows, and if you told them you have a hundred cows they would probably relate to when Dad or Grandpa was milking 30 head and working full time at it.

Some of these people have a genuine interest in farming maybe due to family history (geneology is big now), and are quite interested in learning. If you can set aside your own "hang-ups" about their questions, then maybe you get a chance to teach them something or maybe even make a new friend. When folks have shown genuine interest, I invite them out to see the critters, and maybe my daughter is home and willing to demonstrate some cowgirl skills. We have had some real pleasant meetin-ups with new folks and they usually end up waving (with all 5 fingers) as they go by or pass one of our tractors on the road. With a bit of friendliness extended their way, they become much more patient while driving on the road when close to some roading farm machinery, and much more tolerant when a critter breaks a fence or gate.

With today's big acre crop farming, so much of what is rented or planted is dependent on borrowed money. So really telling people how much area you farm or what crops you farm, or how many head of beef you are running, has nothing with your personal wealth. You could be a multimillionare or just $3.00 ahead of the banker. As I have found in this area, the hard working guy with worn bibs or carharts and a 15 to 20 yr old PU truck and 20 yr old tractors is the guy who has a "bundle" tucked away. The guys in the new PU's and the shinny new tractors and combines have usually hocked their souls to get the good looking stuff, or else inherited a bundle and made sure to spread it around the local economy. Point is.. you just can't judge from the looks of things.

Have a good New Year!

Paul in MN
 
I think it depends on who you are talking to. If you are talking to a farming neighbor it is okay because that is more educational then snoopy. Otherwise how do you find out what are good ideas or bad deals. If it is someone you think is just nosy then change the subject.
 
Kinda like years ago when us boys would go to town with dad and at the time had the largest dairy in the county people at the grocery would ask Ray how many cows are you milking now and he'd say I don't know we just keep milking until no more come in us boys knew exactly how many 140 plus 6 first timers but knew enough to keep our mouth shut when we went to the bank the prez would ask the same thing dad would say 147 and I forgot one freshened before we went in. Sometimes it's good to act stupid :->
 
One more thing I would like to suggest and that is be truthful and still not divulge anything and that is when I went on to manage a large 5000 acre grain farm owned by a very unliked eastern business man who I didn't like either when people asked how many acres are you guys farming now? I learned from ole dad and that was "Enough to keep me up at night" which I think goes for anyone farming any amount of ground. Advice be creative in your answer and questions become scarce.
 
Here's a poem about this subject I thought you might enjoy.

Touchy Questions
by
Wallace McCrae
Rocker 6 Ranch
Colstrip, MT

You can ask me how old I am
And how many kids I got
But I'll get right shifty eyed
If you ask what my calves brought.

I'll tell you of some horses
I rode or I still got
But the price is sorta' private
On that new stud that I bought.

I'll admit to old romances
Old friendships gone to pot
But it just ain't yer business
Of the debts and deals I got.

I'll tell you the distance into town
...How cold it got, or hot
But I won't even hint at
How big a place I got.

So just ask any question
I'll answer like a a shot
'Cept for the aforementioned....
Or how many cows I got.
 
(quoted from post at 22:33:24 12/31/08) C-man,

I live and small time farm in one of those areas where city people have been moving to for the past 20 or so years. They don't usually have a clue as to what land or cows are worth, and most of them don't know the difference between a beef cow and a milk cow. Many think all cows are milk cows, and if you told them you have a hundred cows they would probably relate to when Dad or Grandpa was milking 30 head and working full time at it.

Some of these people have a genuine interest in farming maybe due to family history (geneology is big now), and are quite interested in learning. If you can set aside your own "hang-ups" about their questions, then maybe you get a chance to teach them something or maybe even make a new friend. When folks have shown genuine interest, I invite them out to see the critters, and maybe my daughter is home and willing to demonstrate some cowgirl skills. We have had some real pleasant meetin-ups with new folks and they usually end up waving (with all 5 fingers) as they go by or pass one of our tractors on the road. With a bit of friendliness extended their way, they become much more patient while driving on the road when close to some roading farm machinery, and much more tolerant when a critter breaks a fence or gate.

With today's big acre crop farming, so much of what is rented or planted is dependent on borrowed money. So really telling people how much area you farm or what crops you farm, or how many head of beef you are running, has nothing with your personal wealth. You could be a multimillionare or just $3.00 ahead of the banker. As I have found in this area, the hard working guy with worn bibs or carharts and a 15 to 20 yr old PU truck and 20 yr old tractors is the guy who has a "bundle" tucked away. The guys in the new PU's and the shinny new tractors and combines have usually hocked their souls to get the good looking stuff, or else inherited a bundle and made sure to spread it around the local economy. Point is.. you just can't judge from the looks of things.

Have a good New Year!

Paul in MN
Click to expand...
I'm with Paul.
 
Guess it depends on who you are and what you're doing. I have several local farmers and we raise the horses, some cats, and Australian Sheperds. The farmers mostly have crops which more or less means they are welfare farmers that get subsidized so they can let someone tell them what they can plant and when. They are a little shy about saying what they have(even though everyone knows it) cause they may feel bad about taking the handouts or just want to keep folks feeling sorry for them cause they are so poor. One guy is a registered organic farmer that raises beef and grain. The Government really licks his a$$. He 's like a volture waiting on land to free up so he can swoop in and collect 600 Euro a year per hectare, pay hardly any tax, get outrageous prices for his grain and beef, etc, etc. Him talking about what he has is usually a sore subject with the others because they get 300 euro per hectare and pay more taxes, sell for less, etc.
Myself,
I think it's innocent. If you're not comfortable with the question, you should be secure enough with your position that you tell the asker straight out that it's not an open subject and not try to evade the question.

Just my .02.


Dave
 
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