Call out to Bryce!! On girl friend issue!!

JD Seller

Well-known Member
Bryce I feel that many that posted are over looking something I was trying to get across in my post. IF your girl friend's former employer feels insulted/slighted by how the $400 was rejected she will not be backing down from this. The possible fall out could be WAY more costly and time consuming to your girl friend than the $400.

I hate to say it but in today's world $400 is not much. The possible risk of this turning into some thing way worse and much more costly is not worth the $400 to me. I have found out that being right is costly and hard to prove at times in today's court systems.

An example: My youngest son and his wife went to a Christmas party, two years ago. He went to the bathroom. When he came back into the room some fellows has started fighting. He was walking across the dance floor to get his wife and go home. The fellows fighting pushed my son and several others into the band's equipment. Some high dollar stuff got damaged. The entire thing was on video tape too. The fellows fighting got hauled off by the police. About a month later he gets a court notice that the fellows that where fighting and the guys the fighters pushed into the band equipment, where all getting sued for the damage to the bands equipment and their lost wages from not having use of the equipment. The total of these two things was over $35K. He though he would be in the clear since he had not done anything. Wrong!!! The darn thing went to full trial. After the first appearance and when his part of the suit was not dropped I made him get his own lawyer. The retainer was $2500 for the cheapest lawyer that would take the case. The highest was $5000. It ended up costing my son right at $2500 to get his part of this dropped. If he had lost he would have been on the hook for over $6-7K if they split it equally.

So to the guys on here telling you to not doing anything that your girl friend does not owe her former employer anything. Well they maybe correct but they could be terribly wrong too. your girl friend was paid in cash/check, not a payroll check I bet. So she has zero proof that she was working for them as an employee. If the horse lady has money and is as crazy as many of the ones I have seen, they can get darn vindictive if they feel insulted. I think this is what is going on here. Your girl friend was hurt so the lady paid her for the weeks she missed work. That actually was a good thing for her to do. Now your girlfriend felt guilty for being paid the money. It seems that how she handled it with the horse lady and her missing work POed the horse lady. Horse lady is now asking for the money back. I will just about bet she is not going to drop it. Also the fellows saying that the horse owner is in hot water over unreported wages more than likely are wrong too. Cash transaction and not large sums of money. So your girl friend really can not count on that being a defense against her former employer.

I just wanted you/your girl friend to think about how this could turn ugly real fast. Your girl friend's life could be made hellish real easy if the horse owner wants to. All she would have to do is say that your girl friend stole the money while visiting there. Heck even damaged something that valuable while she was there. Do I think that these charges would ever stick??? NO and HECK no BUT it could easily cost your girl friend a lot of money/time/aggravation to PROVE she was innocent. I just know that a vindictive woman with money, is not someone I would want stirring up trouble around me.

So maybe this will all go away. I just would sleep better at night knowing it was all over for sure. Just paying the $400 back makes it over.
 
JD, if you are so intent on paying the $400, why not send it to the employer yourself.
You are over thinking this.
Let the folks handle their own problem. You have given your advice.
 
I can see both sides of this situation. I believe what JD Seller is concerned about is this young ladies reputation. One of the things that was mentioned I believe in the first post was the people she was working for seem to be wealthy. Wealthy people right or wrong command the podium in any conversation right or wrong. The young lady in this case does not come from a wealthy family so is looked down on by many for that reason. The well connected in most community's are held up as beyond question in these situations. They have the ear of the community and many times that is all that's needed to really hurt your ability to move forward with a career in that community. As has been said she was offended the the money was turned down. That never went away and this more than likely will not either. I would return the money. Ask for a signed statement that this ends the dispute on the advice of your lawyer. At that point if she still wants to cause your friend trouble then it's time for a lawsuit for slander if in fact this is what it is. As far as myself I would have quit after the dispute over the money in the first place. Sent the check back and moved on from a bad situation in my opinion. The young lady was disrespected in this situation over the check to start with. As far as letting her go for not being able to meet the needs of her employer. Nothing wrong there on either side, all were OK with the time off situation in the begining and that changed. Does not matter why they felt the need for more steady consistent help it was their choice. It is sad when grown people resort to petty behavior in these cases but not unheard of. The sad part is this may never go away returned money or not. Some people are just nuts.
 
I see paying the $400 in your scenario as a black mail payment. And it will be another $ 400 next month and so on. No way to guarantee the first payment will stop it.
 
Believe I'd tell Horsey that perhaps we'd better just leave this as is. You don't get $400, I don't submit a claim for unemployment and I don't file an L & I claim. Sometimes you've got to fight fire with fire.
 
(quoted from post at 10:27:54 01/21/18) I see paying the $400 in your scenario as a black mail payment. And it will be another $ 400 next month and so on. No way to guarantee the first payment will stop it.

Exactly.
And starting new threads to push your opinion further is just wasting forum space.
 
Put an all points bulletin out for Judge Judy ..... she'll straighten this mess out in a hurry and might even pass along some more legitimate advice than a bunch of old fart tractor guys (including me by the way) who in total know sweet tweet about the real legalities with problems like this one.
 
The first thing She needs is to get a laywer on retainer and then follow his advice. The first one to get the laywer will usually win. But She needs to protect herself by getting that Laywer.
 
(quoted from post at 09:46:01 01/21/18)
(quoted from post at 10:27:54 01/21/18) I see paying the $400 in your scenario as a black mail payment. And it will be another $ 400 next month and so on. No way to guarantee the first payment will stop it.

Exactly.
And starting new threads to push your opinion further is just wasting forum space.

kinda like replying to a thread pushing an opinion that you feel is wasting forum space? Or me, for that matter, replying to a post about a post on a thread that you feel is wasting forum space?

just makes me giggle is all, dont read to much into that
 
Yeah, I am with Mark on this one. I have seldom seen such a waste of forum space and cannot believe this topic comes up twice. Go get a lawyer? Over $400? Really? Charges of stealing or vandalism? Police are not going to go to bat on that after talking to the girl. In my opinion, the absolute worst scenario is a small claims action to try to recover the $400 but I doubt they will bother. Walk away, don't look back.
 
JD Seller, I really appreciate the advice, and I feel the "waste of forum space" comments are a little harsh. I've seen some stupid sh!t on here! I asked a serious question, and I am getting answers, and I appreciate it.

You and others have about convinced me to send the $400, BUT, someone (I apologize for not remembering who) said to make sure it is a certified check, that the person who receives it has to acknowledge that they received it. I feel that is the only safe way to prevent a black mailing thing, such as Mike M mentioned previously.

She texted the girlfriend yesterday, and said that she was in "no rush whats so ever, and to focus on school". A total turn of moods in my opinion! Girlfriend did not respond, and is not going to. We are going to let it ride a for a few weeks and see what happens.

I appreciate everyone's advice and suggestions! Thank you!
 
Letting it die on it's own is the way to go.

It is interesting reading the responses from everyone. Live by the sword and die by the sword come to mind. People with a harsh attitude often pay for that harsh attitude by the trouble they cause themselves. I've always been successful letting sleeping dogs lie, and not telling someone off when it would be in my right to do so. It just never pays to exercise your "rights" to unload on someone, and those that do spend money on lawyers to cover themselves.
 
(quoted from post at 16:33:26 01/21/18) JD Seller, I really appreciate the advice, and I feel the "waste of forum space" comments are a little harsh. I've seen some stupid sh!t on here! I asked a serious question, and I am getting answers, and I appreciate it.

You and others have about convinced me to send the $400, BUT, someone (I apologize for not remembering who) said to make sure it is a certified check, that the person who receives it has to acknowledge that they received it. I feel that is the only safe way to prevent a black mailing thing, such as Mike M mentioned previously.

She texted the girlfriend yesterday, and said that she was in "no rush whats so ever, and to focus on school". A total turn of moods in my opinion! Girlfriend did not respond, and is not going to. We are going to let it ride a for a few weeks and see what happens.

I appreciate everyone's advice and suggestions! Thank you!

According to the details provided, your actions seem safe and sound. Not too sure what to think of this woman....is she unstable, or could it be that there's still something more going on that maybe we all don't know about? Fear and panic can make people act spontaneously bizarre. Keep with the caution!
 
Is it? See these are things I don't know?

I figured if I did a personal check made out to her, and took a picture of it, I would be in the clear? My bank would of course have a record of when it was cashed?
 
(quoted from post at 20:22:38 01/21/18) Is it? See these are things I don't know?

I figured if I did a personal check made out to her, and took a picture of it, I would be in the clear? My bank would of course have a record of when it was cashed?

Could always be argued that the signature was forged and the woman never got the check. If she deposited it into her bank account, that's a different story. But if the check is simply cashed and the teller doesn't check ID, then it's back to "he said/she said"....er, whatever.
 
Just read the original post. If it was me I'd simply let things go and essentially dare the couple to sue me for the money. As presented they gave the money as a gift. Regardless of how it was given, it wasn't demanded back before termination, so they have absolutely no right to get it back now.

That said, once the check was given to here, they also had ample opportunity to cancel the check, etc if they felt it was given in error. They did nothing and allowed it to be cashed, so again they have no case.

Ultimately the couple/or the wife obviously had regrets over what she did, and that's her right, but regrets don't make a legal case.
 
> I figured if I did a personal check made out to her, and took a picture of it, I would be in the clear? My bank would of course have a record of when it was cashed?

Proving the payee of a check received it and deposited it is simple. Worst case, you have to go down to your bank and pay a nominal fee for them to print out an image of the cancelled check.

That said, I don't think you'll ever need to prove anything in court regarding this mess. The last thing your girlfriend's former employers want to do is explain their deliberate violations of state and federal law to a judge. (An interesting point of contract law is that you can't enforce a contract when it's an agreement to break the law. Paying your girlfriend under the table and not providing workers comp were crimes. Crimes, BTW, that state labor and revenue departments LOVE to prosecute.)

Getting back to checks, most folks these days have "draft" accounts, not traditional checking accounts. With a traditional checking accounts, you get all your cancelled checks back with your monthly statement. These days they don't send the physical check but instead include printed images of both sides of the checks. At least that's how my business checking account works.

With draft accounts, they don't return the checks to you, which is a lot cheaper for the bank. If you need a copy of the cancelled check they'll print one out for a small fee. But anymore, you don't even need to do that; if I go online with my credit union I can print out the cancelled check from my home computer. You can't get copies of checks that are "processed electronically", but I've never heard of individuals doing that; typically it's big utilities that process electronically.

With respect to certified checks, when most people say "certified check" they really mean a cashier check. They're not the same: cashier checks are issued by the bank, while certified checks are issued by you and certified by the bank to be good. Both are considered to be "certified funds". In 60+ years, I've yet to use a certified check. The only time you have to use a certified or cashier check is when the payee requires it; it's not generally in the payer's interest to use them.

I feel it's important to use personal checks when paying your most important bills: your federal, state and local taxes. The government can take away your property or your freedom if you can't prove you've paid your taxes. This came home to me a few years ago when the Colorado Department of Revenue sent me a nasty letter saying I hadn't paid my share of the taxes on my Colorado partnership return. Well, I had included a check for the right amount in my name with my SSN on it with the return. But I didn't include the paperwork that said it was for that particular return, so the DR pretended they hadn't received it. I simply went online, printed out a copy of the cancelled check and sent it to Revenue, along with a sarcastic letter, and that was that. I hate to think of the hoops I would have had to jump through if I'd paid with a cashier's check.
 
JD: Given your son had video proof he did not damage the equipment and was pushed into it, I sure would think he could of counter sued for all court related costs ?
 
The plantiff (one filing the suit) does not have to wait to split evenly among all parties named in the suit if they are found liable but can go after the one with the deepest pockets. If you have nothing no one cares about you on a civil matter but the ones who have the money or potential are really the targets.
 

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