Today's funny

jon f mn

Well-known Member
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At the risk of getting this whole thread poofed, I gotta tell this story.

I once had a friend, "Jim" in Clinton, NC. He was an insurance salesman and one of the better known local characters. Once when he went to the bathroom, he caught himself in his zipper and wound up in the ER with a doctor taking several stitches in it. The nurse who assisted the doctor knew Jim, and could barely contain herself through the whole thing.

Then after the doctor was done, he asked, "What the heck am I going to put in your medical record?" He finally wrote, "Lacerated Leg". Whereupon the nurse "lost it" completely.

Then, Jim's wife worked at a local bank and couldn't resist telling one of the gals she worked with. At that point, they might as well have put it on the front page of the local newspaper. Jim said afterward, "I can walk down the street in Clinton, and every SOB I meet, black or white, smiles at me".

The next time I saw him, I glanced at his fly and told him I thought he'd have all of his pants converted to buttons. I can't repeat on this site what he called me.
 
I worked with a guy who got a 7" grinder to snag his shirt tail and ended up with a significant portion of his anatomy ground off. He had been warned for years that it was dangerous to grind with his shirt tail out. He was pretty big and tough so no one said much to him, a lot of smiles tho.
 
Naaaa. Girl in life vest and dog look photo shopped. Very slight color shift. Also dogs rear legs are at an incorrect position. If this is real it is very funny but I don't think it is.
 
Might be something I can print and show a guy, get reaction. seems last Saturday afternoon the neighbors bull dog played tug of war with his scrotum, etc. 150 or 190 some plastic surgery stitches, 3 shots of 250mg Fentanyl and 3 days to come down from that dose. Slow walking now. I'll be teasing him next month. RN
 
Guy I once worked with told this on himself: he was a Marine, participating in the invasion of one of those Pacific islands. A shell landed nearby and he immediately felt something hot in his groin. He dropped his pants and saw blood. He forgot there was a war on; he went running down the beach, holding his pants with one hand and his valuables in the other, screaming "Corpsman! Corpsman!" When I knew him he had about six kids, so apparently there was a happy ending.
 

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