People sure are aggressive

NY 986

Well-known Member
A farming neighbor passed away Friday. The services are not for a few days yet. Toady I've seen four pickups slow down as if they were searching for an address even though the neighbor is aways down the road from me. I've read the stories about how aggressive guys are for ground nowadays. Can you imagine being the widow and get more callers ahead of funeral home hours about the ground than about the fact your husband is gone. Maybe I am being too cynical given the jokes about slamming the coffin lid shut at the funeral home calling hours to get the widow to sign a deal using the coffin as a desk.
 
I think I follow the gist of your post but to be honest, the wording is somewhat puzzling as to what exactly you are saying.
 
I heard of one guy saying something to the widow at the funeral home during visitation. He didn't get the ground.
 
I had an uncle that lived here on the farm and when passed and the obituary was listed the next day in the paper, someone broke-in and stole a few of his guns. They also broke-in another house on the place and stole one of my shotguns. I had the serial number to it and about 6 months later, the thief was caught in a road check, along with a fellow dud and the shotgun between them. They had filed off the serial numbers, but a lab was able to bring them out and they matched my serial numbers. Once the gun was established stolen, the dud started singing like a bird - that and whiteness' had sighted the guy on the place and after a brief court appearance, the thief was off to prison for at least 5 years.

Man dies, theif breaks in. Pretty low IMHO.

Hopefully the passer-by'ers were looking for land, not casing the place for a break-in.
 
(quoted from post at 14:08:13 06/26/17) Your insight is correct, I believe. Same scenarios exist here in Minnesota with both farmland & Lakeshore land.

Yea here in MN it happens far too often. Neighbor passed a few years ago. At the reception after the funeral the widow was approached by 2 farmers and a relator. When my FIL passed my MIL was approached at the viewing over 7 1/2 acres. He didn't get it. He was thinking that he owns all the land around it so she should sell to him. MIL's nephew is farming it now for free.

Rick
 
You never know as a thief does not necessarily have to look like a homeless person and drive a rough old vehicle. I still think that the ones I saw were farmers. A lot of time could go by before I saw four pickup trucks slow down to a near stop then speed away never mind four in the same day. Had I been elsewhere I may have never saw a thing today but it worked out I was near the house a lot today. My advice to the widow would be given the quantity of stuff down there and how it is spread out around the place I would be thinking about lining up the auctioneer a couple weeks after the funeral and burial are over. No doubt some will be watching for when she is not home and there is just too much stuff to keep track of.
 
That's the truth .Could it be possible to have someone go there and take a video of everything including serial numbers ?I have it written down and a verbal talk with the person in charge if anything happens to me there will be no notice in the paper. I've seen the amish around here pull that stunt if someone passed away there right there to help the survivors out usually before they have time to think they get a lot of stuff that way. Seen a lawyer pull that stunt son committed suicide the lawyer was right there told them they didn't want to be on the farm anymore and he would take it off there hands something that they regretted latter.
 
I would bet that more than a couple of those guys if contacted about the "help" they offered would not go through with it based on not expecting to get the place.
 
In 1980, my father-in-law passed away about 8:30 one evening. At 7:00 the next morning, a BTO neighbor pounded on my mother-in-law's door and told her if she wanted to sell the farm, he'd write a check on the spot.

There was some poetic justice, though. Several years later, the guy and his two sons over-extended themselves and wiped out. One son was left with 240 acres to satisfy a seed corn contract.
 
It can work both ways. Maybe they were looking for the farm and where from another area. Were the trucks local??? I drove down to MO a few weeks ago to see if a friend's widow needed help during the trying time after his passing. Lots of livestock and no family around. I got turned around and had to get directions to the place. So I guess by many posters reckoning I was out to get some thing from the widow??? I did her chores for three days. So I guess I am bad man for that. LOL

I have never asked anyone for anything during these stressful times. That fact has bitten me in the butt twice. I had one farm rented out from under me because another fellow asked the widow before I asked her if she wanted to continue the rental agreement. I could have kept the land another year as there had not been any notice sent before Sept. 1st. but I did not fight it. In another case I had made an offer on a farm before the man passed away. He had counter offered me once already. We where dickering back and forth when he died. I know the widow knew we where dealing. I talked to her a week after the funeral to tell her that she could contact me anytime IF she wanted to sell the place. She informed me that a "Nice fellow" had came the day after the funeral and bought the farm. She sold it for $200 an acre less than the last offer I had made. That was $50K more than she sold it for. The "Nice fellow" told her that my offer was only good to her husband. HIS offer was to her and good right then.

Do you asked one day, one week, one month, six months, or never???? How do you know it is the "Right" time??? It sure seems anymore that the arrogant/pushy people get what they want more often than not. It sure seems like being respectful and such can have you finishing last around here anymore.
 
Another situation I've seen over the years after a death is family members squabbling over what they want or what they said was promised to them even before the loved one has been laid to rest, and doesnt matter what the "last will and testament" stated, i hear about it all the time and has happened in my family as well, it causes such hard feelings that folks won't even speak to one another ever again
 
I can't comment as to how things are handled in other parts of the US or what the norm is. I will say that there is no livestock there whatsoever and has not been for many years. I can allow for that there maybe is somebody who wanted to stop by and pay their respects that could not come for the given calling hours. I just can't see that out of several people in one day that they are all stopping by for noble reasons. Further, I would say that maybe my religious affiliation would not get me by in terms of why I stopped by whereas some who wear their religion on their hat seem to never have their motives questioned. In any event I am not going down to the widow's to put my nose in her business w/o an invitation.
 
Your idea of religion is like mine theres some people who go to church on Sunday and they don't let that interfere with what they got to do on monday
 
Here's something to think about... I was POA for my grandfather's brother. We had to put him in a home in spring of 2006, and he passed in 2008. His home, a really deshevelled old farm house, sat empty and unbothered that whole time. Between the time he died and the time he was buried, it was burglarized. They didn't find much, but made a mess.

The people you saw may want the land. Or to be nosey. Or to just remember the old guy before things change. Or they have other intentions....
 
When our tenant farmer died, a lot of farmers inquired about the farm. My brother (farm Manager) eliminated all who inquired before tenant was put in the ground.
Led
 
Obviously, I am not all-knowing but all I hear about anymore in these situations locally is how the families have had guys call on them with an obvious interest in the ground. Further, with few exceptions that any contact by those with no close connection could have waited for calling hours or the wake. Business such as what is going on with the ground or the farmer's favorite tractor should wait until after the family has had a chance to mourn. Lastly, that there are a few farmers in the area that are extremely aggressive in these situations and have made a regular habit of stopping before the deceased's last dinner has gone cold.
 
A school classmate of mine lost her dad a couple of years ago, her parent's home was burglarized during the visitation. I know of one other buddy who has "house sat" for a family during their visitation. I would think the funeral homes would soon be offering this service, or be able to suggest retired cops or VFW guys who could be trusted to perform said duties.
 
Back in the '70's I had a boss that used to read the daily obituaries and contact the families immediately. I thought that he was a ghoul for doing that. His angle was to take advantage of people's emotions, hoping that they would want to get rid of stuff so that every time that they saw something that belonged to the dearly departed, it wouldn't make them cry. He said that it worked out in his favor often. My thought was, how do you read the obituaries, contact a family that you don't know and don't know you, and then talk them out of...whatever. Most of the stuff he said he sold off. Gold and silver went to the gold and silver guy, and the clocks he kept for himself because he collected clocks. One time he had another kid and myself take something to his house, his wife let us in, and I swear that virtually every inch of every wall was covered by a clock, clocks that he talked the families of still warm dead people out of. They gave him the stuff and he sold it all. Haven't seen the guy since the '70's and for all I know, he's dead and gone now, and if he is maybe someone read his obituary and returned the favor.

Mark
 
My younger brother died in an early morning car crash in 1982. Before the same day ended, one of the neighbors stopped by wanting to rent the land. He didn't get to.
 
It cuts both ways I guess, once knew of a man that asked a woman out on a date at his own wife's funeral.As the old saying goes guess she wasn't going to get any deader.
 
When Pa died a neighbor inquired about renting the farm at the lunch we had in the church basement. I was kinda upset about that until my wife asked me how long should they wait? one day? one week? one month? one year? I don't know when the right time is.
 
neighbor down the road wife passed a few years ago. we live on a lightly traveled loop road. during the service, 2 box trucks backed up to his house and took everything. gun safe, furniture, tv, dishes, everything. rural delivery paper boy saw the trucks, but didn't know wife had passed. didn't think anything about it. i didn't know the people well, but it still bothers me that there are people that would do that.
 
So I guess I am bad man for that. LOL

Oh yeah, there were FOUR pickup truck loads of guys just clamoring to do the widow's chores... RIIIIIIIGHT...

You know they were vultures of one flavor or another. Either looking to pilfer something, or bilk the widow out of the land.
 
How many kids did he have? My dad died and over a dozen vehicles showed up at the house - and that didn't include any inlaws or grandkids.
 
There were no kids and I am not sure as to how he was getting along with the nearest surviving relatives.
 
Ya, farmers and investors are both are VERY aggressive about gaining ground these days. Last summer I had a handful of guys stop by and inquire about renting my place over a span of a week. I thought it was odd to have that many at that time of year but didnt think a lot about it until I mentioned it to my tenant. Seems he had casually mentioned at an auction that he was thinking about retiring and,,,,LOL.
 
A month or so ago my wife sent me over to the elderly neighbor's farm with a bread pudding that she knew he liked. I called first and got no answer, and figured he was away from his phone. When I drove in his lane I spotted his son doing the chores. That's when I learned that his dad had been in a nursing home for a week. I know how things like this work - someone snooping around when there's a tragedy in the family - and it made me feel kinda funny, wondering what the son was thinking. I guess he wasn't too worried though - he asked me to be a pallbearer when his dad died a week or so later. I wish we had gotten that bread pudding over there while he was home to enjoy it. After having said all that, hopefully some of those pickups were bringing food for the family. That's real common in our neighborhood. On the other hand - one of the families in our little town had their deep freeze cleaned out while they were all at a visitation for a family member.
 

If you snooze you lose. Just how long is someone supposed to wait? What is an acceptable time to you?

Business is business.
 
I think I"ve posted this story before but it goes along with the topic. Years ago I had an elderly neighbor that had a two-row JD planter. I ask him about buying it and he said, come back in the spring and we"ll talk. So early one spring day I pull up in his yard. His wife came out on the porch with a small grandchild in tow. I said, "Good morning. I come to see about buying that little John Deere planter your husbands got." She said, "My husband died last night at twelve o"clock." I don"t think I have ever felt so stupid. I apologized profusely, gave my condolences, and left. I always suspected that she thought I was there to get ahead of anyone else who might have wanted some of his equipment. Happened years ago and I still feel just as stupid when I think about it.
 
The dark side of all this. A few years back. A man died and two men showed up at the wife's house. Acted like they hadn't heard of the man's death. Told her how sorry they were. Didn't mean to bother her at this time. While she was at the service. These two came back with three others. Loaded everything they could onto trailers. Made off with tractors,trucks,equipment anything they could load up. Got caught when someone saw one truck hauling the tractors to a sale. Never leave the property without someone to guard it.
 
(quoted from post at 11:53:15 06/27/17) The dark side of all this. A few years back. A man died and two men showed up at the wife's house. Acted like they hadn't heard of the man's death. Told her how sorry they were. Didn't mean to bother her at this time. While she was at the service. These two came back with three others. Loaded everything they could onto trailers. Made off with tractors,trucks,equipment anything they could load up. Got caught when someone saw one truck hauling the tractors to a sale. Never leave the property without someone to guard it.
Good advice!
 
I was going to wait for a for sale sign to go up at my neighbors property. It never happened. Word got out and it was sold with out a realtor getting involved.
 
(quoted from post at 11:53:15 06/27/17) The dark side of all this. A few years back. A man died and two men showed up at the wife's house. Acted like they hadn't heard of the man's death. Told her how sorry they were. Didn't mean to bother her at this time. While she was at the service. These two came back with three others. Loaded everything they could onto trailers. Made off with tractors,trucks,equipment anything they could load up. Got caught when someone saw one truck hauling the tractors to a sale. Never leave the property without someone to guard it.

The lowlifes read the obits.
 

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