Todays funny

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Ya got to love Gary Larson, Bob

What a shocking way to start the day. Thanks Jon, I do not have any cattle now but I do remember those days when I wished I could teach the fencer a lesson or two. Happy Easter and happy trucking.

My folks used to tell this story. They were having a neighborhood party, so the hired man wired up a chair using a Model T coil (among other things). They had people sit in the chair to sign the guest book and the hired man would hit the switch and give them a little jolt. Everyone jumped when they felt the shock except one woman. It turns out that she was wearing a girdle (in fashion at the time) that insulated her from getting shocked!

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Could be worse

Years ago, my dad was in the local hardware, buying some quarter inch hardware cloth. An old timer farmer was standing there asked what he was doing. Dad said he was going to use to keep livestock from pushing windows out of barn. Old guy scoffed, said he had used wood and even pipes to keep 'em out. Nothing worked. Dad allowed as how he thought these would work. Invited old guy to stop by in the afternoon and see.

That morning he hung the screens. The three half grown steers watched with interest as he installed. I walked in just as he completed hanging. Dad called to me to plug in fencer. The steers stood in a row, and as he stepped out of the pen, steers looked back and forth and middle one apparently was elected. He walked up and shoved his nose up against the screen. The jolt backed him up about two lenghts, and landed him on his haunches. He got up went over to the manger and started eating hay, followed by his buddies. Lesson learned.

Old fellow from hardware showed up in afternoon. Inspected screens hanging there and declared they wouldn't work. Completely missed that screen was hanging from fencing insulators. Dad suggested that he try to push it out. He was wearing street shoes and had a hole in his glove. Reached up and gave a shove. Pulled his hand back suddenly and allowed maybe it would work.

Those screens worked for over 20 years, never lost a window. Only needed to use fencer occasionally. Even when we stuffed a handful of hay behind them they were left alone.

Reminds me of a story that was told at a funeral I went to in December. The old guy who passed away was kind of quiet,but he had quite an imagination for pulling pranks. His brother spoke at the funeral and told that they were some of the first farmers around to have an electric fencer. The two of them were out hoeing the garden one day and the brother asked him if he wanted to have some fun? They went and got a piece of screen,hung it down in the hole of the outhouse and hooked it to the fencer. They went back to hoeing. Eventually their sister came out and sat down in the outhouse. He said you could have heard her scream all the way to town.

Gary Larson has a great mind. Met him at the NCBA convention in San Antonio last year. He was selling t-shirts and books with his cartoons.

We used to rig our cars that way when we were in high school.

Sure cured dogs of peeing on the wheels.

Back in school, Dad had worked his way up the ladder (the old-fashioned way!) and was finally making some decent money. So he bought one of the then-new Olds Aurora's, but a stray cat kept leaving muddy paw prints everywhere. Cat was always around in the morning dew, and the heat of the sun would bake any dirt hard onto the windshield. Had to get it all off or the wiper blade would smear the dirt and scratch the glass. So one day I had a couple scrap pieces of carpet padding that I laid over the hood and over the windshield. Put a piece of chicken wire on each pad, then wired a + to one and a - to the other. Never had a problem with that cat again!

One of my favorites, I have it on the bulletin board above my confuser.

I rigged up a hot wire in the door mat outside the back door to keep our dumb chocolate lab from laying on it and leaving his hair behind, to be tracked into the house. I used the lowest powered fencer I could find. Every time he was bit he would stand there looking at the mat with his head cocked and lips curled, snarling at the mat. The cats would lay right on the hot wire and not feel a thing.

Back when I had hogs I touched a cat with the hog prod and squeezed the trigger. The cat just rubbed into the prod, liking the attention. I kept rubbing the cat but the shock couldn't get through the cat's hair. Then I worked it around back to the tail area. Then it yelped and took off.

Neighbor was working on an old McCulloch chainsaw and was having trouble getting it to rev up. He started back to the workbench to get a wrench leaving the saw idling on the ground. He muttered "----- on the SOB". His 4 year old new[hew overhead and thought this was a request for assistance which he freely gave for a moment. The little boy did not help much in spite of following the directions.

My sister still remembers me telling her it was alright to dump a bucket of water on the fence

I was visiting cousins in Iowa when the good preacher uncle and his brats from CA showed up. One cousin when in the barn and pulled the plug on the fencer so we could pee on the wire and not get shocked. Bet the brat cousin he couldn't hit the wire of course by then fencer was plugged in. Ran all the way to the house crying and told good preacher all about how mean we were. Never did get in trouble guess Iowa uncle was on our side on that one.

I was visiting cousins in Iowa when the good preacher uncle and his brats from CA showed up. One cousin went in the barn and pulled the plug on the fencer so we could pee on the wire and not get shocked. Bet the brat cousin he couldn't hit the wire of course by then fencer was plugged in. Ran all the way to the house crying and told good preacher all about how mean we were. Never did get in trouble guess Iowa uncle was on our side on that one.