Missing Mom An Dad

Today a young couple stopped by and visited. While talking they asked if I knew how to make apple butter. I said no, but Mom and Dad always made a large batch each fall. After they left I found myself sad and depressed. Its been a couple of years now, but does the pain of Mom And Dad getting old and passing get any easier? At night I often dream Dad and I are working together or at an auction. I wake feeling sad. Is this normal? How long before thinking of them doesn't make me get choked up?
 
To a point I know how you feel. I was basically raised by my grandparents. My grandma died a few years back. My grandpa is recently in assisted living. I'm not close to my parents at all. I think of my grandma constantly. It's slowly getting easier.
 
To be honest I don't think it ever goes away. My Dad died back in 1979 and I still dream about our times together. Mom passed 3 years ago and I still find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her. It does get easier with time, but it's in your time. Some morn longer than others, cherish the memories. Many only have bad thoughts of how Mom and Dad treated them.
 
I lost my parents years ago! It takes awhile but one day when you think a pleasant thought of them it will make you smile!
 
Al Baker(pumpman)- Nope. The feeling does not lessen for me. I could only imagine the pain a parent goes through. like some members on this board, that have lost a child.

I think of and I miss my parents daily and Thank GOD for the time I had with them.
 
Well the way I handle it is to look at all those years and experiences and lifes lessons as the best of my life and now that they're gone it's my turn to make sure I pass that on to my kids and grand kids while I wait to join my parents again. I don't think of the day they died , I think of the years we were all together . It doesn't just "get" easier , by thinking differently one just finds it easier. Cherish and celebrate the years you had together.
 
Mom is 99 and Dad died in 1994 as well as my wife. I would love to have both here in good health which I would call missing them. I think about both almost every day but with fond thoughts now. I am 77 and when I am working on a tractor in the field I can hear in my mind Dad giving me the instructions he gave me as a kid. I don't feel sad though anymore. I am not sure when I stopped feeling sad when I thought about my wife or my Dad.
 
I miss my parents still. My mothers been gone for 22 years my dads been gone for nearly 8. It does get easier. I'll hear a phrase or a song or eat something or be doing something and it will bring memories right back. I was having a good dream the other morning but my brother called and woke me up.
 
Pumpman- We each deal with it in different ways, Mom and MIL Passed in 2010,Dadin '12, brother in '13, wife in '14. I did not loose them, I know where they are and that by His grace I will eventually see them again, don't know your situation but that is the only way I know to deal with it and keep it together, I miss them every minute for now. I'm just now getting to where I can go out to eat at places we used to without about cracking up. I had intended to retire at the end of 2014 but chose not to which was the right thing to do for me, I think maintaining as much a normal routine as possible has helped me adjust.
 

It has not been a problem for me, as I was not that close to them, but others that have been lost do slowly fade away. It is true that time heals all wounds, and one can help it along by being involved in things that occupy ones mind.
 
Dad has been gone 23 years and mom 4 years. I still think of them daily. Ever since I was old enough to remember, went everywhere with dad. With three girls in the house I guess mom didn't want my brother and me under foot. If it was breakfast or lunch when dad got up from the table he would say, come on boys lets go. He might as well had a 6 ft. leash on us. I don't think there is a boy out there that could of had as good of childhood as me. When I am with my brother we talk a lot about dad and why he did this or why he bought that or do you remember doing this.
 
My dad has been gone for eight years now.When I was seven years old he was trying to teach me how to drive the 8N scatter raking hay. I was a little frustrated and said I can't do it Dad.He said can't never did nothin try did it all.Times in my life there have been rough spots I always remember him saying that to me. Great memories from a great Dad.I sure do miss him.
 
I don't think I will ever stop missing my parents. Not a day passes that I do not think of them. Every time I cook a meal the way that Mom taught me I think of her. Every time I run into a difficult situation, I remember my Dad's words on how to deal with it. For sure there is a huge empty spot in my soul that was occupied by my parents. Nothing I know of can ever fill that spot.
 
It takes the average person three years to finally come to grips with their mourning after losing a close loved one.
 
Dad died in 92, Mom died around 06. Still miss them. I have a lot of good memories. I keep my tractors at what was Dad, and Mom's place. Still a lot of things as dad left them. I walk past his F12 on the way to my shop. The hay mower is still attached to it, from when he last cut hay. It's parked where he last parked it. I keep it jacked up, and covered. Still have plans to get it operational. It does get easier as the years go by, with a busy life now. With grand kids, son-in-laws and other things to keep me occupied. Stan
 
My father has been gone 30 years, and my mother 17. My father and I were never very close, I was a lot closer to my mother. I've never given it much thought. I just accepted it as part of life and moved on.

Although my wife and I do still chuckle about some of my mother's antics. If there was ever anyone or anything on this earth that woman was afraid of, I sure as heck never figured out who or what it was. For instance, most mothers talk about how traumatic it is when their children are put in harms way in the military. When I was in a Marine jet fighter squadron deployed to a hot spot in the Suez Canal area aboard an aircraft carrier, my mother said she wished she could go along. And knowing her, there's not a doubt in my mind that she was dead serious.

But do I miss her? I'd have to say "No". Life has to move on, you can't dwell on the past. I do see a lot of my mother in our daughter, however. The same logical, objective mind that isn't cluttered up with a lot of sentiment.
 
Like Goose, I accepted the deaths of my parents as the logical, inevitable conclusion of the life cycle. They had lived long, good lives, and both were suffering (cancer, strokes). I don't miss them, per se, but I'm reminded of them every day as I use my dad's tools and his guns, and see my mom's handiwork in a thousand things around my home. Whatever I have become, I am a product of their genes, their guidance and their example. My values are their values.

Unlike many of you, because of numerous career moves I was not physically close to my parents for most of my adult life. Because of that their absence did not create such a large empty void as others who lived and worked near their parents.

I do still hold a deep affection for my parents. My deepest regret is that I never told my parents how much I appreciate their many sacrifices for me, nor tell them how sorry I am for the many times and ways I hurt them by being a self-centered, unappreciative jerk. If only I could have 15 minutes with them again just to tell them so.
 
Both my parents have lived long happy lives. Both in their 80's
If either would die tomorrow I feel I could except it as a natural part of life.

Now losing and young child is a whole different story.
It has been 20 years and still hurts to think about it.
 
The deal for me is when something from the old days comes up. And I got no one to talk that old stuff over.

It hits everyone a litle different, but I think that is pretty normal.

When the aerial photos from the late 1930s appeared on the Internet, and I could finally see the way the farm was layed out back then, when dad was just getting into the swing of things - I got all misty eyed. I could finally see the stuff he talked about, how things were in his day. But I can't point to the picture and see it 'with' him, I can only fuzz brain remember about how he said it was, my fuzzy memories and the fuzzy camera work of the 1930s........ Think that's the one I'd like to be able to do, look over one old photo with him. He liked looking backwards, I don't know I worry about him seeing how I'm doing today, but I'd like to look backwards with him over that photo, something he woulda got a kick out of.

Paul
 

My Dad died 12 years ago and a day doesn't go by that I don't think of him. My mother is still living and I see her nearly every day.
 
My Dads been gone 5 years next month, Mom passed last February. Yes I miss them. Because of various things and the state of the economy in Michigan I joined the Air Force 31 years ago and never moved back to lower Michigan. I suppose some of the loss I feel was the original idea was to do 20 in the Air Force and then move back to be with family, well it's obvious that isn't going to happen. I suppose one of the things that I use to dull the pain for me is that my Dad was 22 when Grandpa Baker died, 26 when Grandma Baker passed so I had my parents around a lot longer than he did. I think the other things that nag at me is I realize I have a more life behind me than in front of me now and if my kids choose a similar career path I probably will see less of them than I have my folks for the last 25 years.
 
Good to see you are smart enough to take them to town and have them tested. I gave my battery load tester away after I purchased a battery conductivity tester, saves me time and a trip to town. Live each day as a Gift from God.
 
Still have my mom, but Dad died in 99. Not a day goes by I dont think of him. I contract for the company he use to work for. Im always asked if he was my Dad, and proudly say yes, he was.
 
Lost my Mom in 1996, Dad 2001,,,, still miss them,, just think of the good times with them to keep me smiling,,, they may be gone but they are Never forgotten,,,, also I still feel them around at times,, like to think these orbs I catch every so often are them checking in
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Of coarse its normal. I think about my Dad alot. I just want him to know that i turned out to be a good hard working Man and tell him thank you for raising me to be that way. My mother left when i was 5 years old and Dad had to raise 4 of us by his self i just guess she thought the grass was greener on the other side. He died in 96 and miss him daily.
 
I lost mom in 1993 and lost dad in 2000 and then lost my sister in 2005. I miss them all but don't dwell on it. From time to time it would be nice to have them here to talk to.
 

I lost my mother a year ago this March. It was kind of a relief when she passed, because of the suffering she was going through the last few years of her life. Dad is still alive at 87, but he is in a home and has had dementia for several years. He doesn't know much anymore. He doesn't even remember many details of his own life, and doesn't even remember that his wife passed away. He still asks where she is. We tell him that she's out shopping, or laying down to rest. Otherwise he'd have to go through the grieving process each time we tell him. I think of mom and dads life together often, but it doesn't make me sad. They lived a long and happy life.
 
Like some have said, I don't get choked up thinking about my parents and other close relatives being gone. It is the natural cycle. I do occasionally think of some event, but it's always with a smile. It seems the memories I have are mostly pleasant ones. The unpleasant ones don't seem to stick.

We have taught our children to be independent so when our time comes, I expect they'll grieve for a short time and get on with their lives.

Interesting thing: My youngest daughter is in mortuary science school and will graduate this summer as a mortician. Death is something she deals with on an everyday basis. I hesitate to ask her when we meet for dinner how her day at school/work was. :shock:
 
Lost mom in 1997, dad in 2013 at age 102 (he had his mind and mobility up to the end). They are in my dreams often. Took care of dad (or he took care of me) for 16 years, Toughest thing is driving, as dad always rode along, I cant tell you how many times I have tried to start a conversation with the right seat, only to look over and find it empty. It never goes away, but in time it gets better. Learn to enjoy your own company.
 
Yes it is normal. I think I would be more worried for you if you didn't have those thoughts. I lost my dad in 1999 and my brother in 2003. I think it is the way your mind "deals" with it. Occasionally I still have dreams with dad or my brother in them. It does get easier in time.
 
Lost my sis on May 27, 2004 at age 65,my grandson on July 7 at age 20,2004,my Mother Aug 16 2004 at age 89,my Dad Sept.27,2005 at age 87.

My sis's husband past away March 2000 at age 63. He had just retired from a state job.


Yes I do miss them all every day.

I {75} and brother{68} are still here. May see the brother at family funnerals. We live about 2 hrs apart.
 

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