Dad is on the mend

BANDITFARMER

Well-known Member
I haven't posted much for awhile and there has been a good reason. Back in May my 77 year old dad fell in the barn and spraned his ankle but not to bad. They gave him a boot to ware and told him to use his cane to walk with and to stay off it as much as he can. Well dad being dad decider he didn't need the boot or cane after 2 days and walked out of the house about 10 feet and fell again, This time he broke that ankle but good. He spent May in the hospital with cellulitice in that leg and once that was taken care of he was transferred to a nursing home to have rounds of antibiodices for a blood infection. His ankle would never heal up right so the doctor made plans to fuse the bones and put a rod and pins in to hold his leg and ankle together and it will stay in. July 13 they did the surgery and it was back to the nursing home to heal up. 2 weeks ago they let him come home with a cast still on his leg but he was home. Friday we took him to the doctor to get the cast off and he was a happy camper to say the least, But he was not happy with the walking boot and the orders not to walk on it. He can stand on it to get in or out of bed or chair but cant be walking on it.

On the way home he said he wanted to look at the soybeans so mom drove the van around the field so he could look at them (This is not what he wanted to do if you know what I mean.) Now all he is talking about is me getting his Gleaner K out and ready to cut beans when they are ready. The problem is I know he cant do it and he should not even try but he's hard headed so I don't know what I'm going to do. Well dad is at least home and the cast is off and is starting to come off all the meds he was on and is getting more clear headed but I know the combine idea is not going to happen even if he wants to. Now maybe I can catch up on the 2 months or so of work I am behind on now that I don't have to do so much running. Dad is 77 and mom is 76 and last night she told him "Your going to start doing what me and the doctors tell you to do or else!" To witch dad said "NO"! Mom simply came around the corner with a cast iron skillet! OK OK I get it! I think dad got the idea this time! At least he's home and can start getting around better now and can get back to his old self. He is such a turkey bird. Bandit
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People don't realize how time consuming all of those trips can be until they have been there. I hope your dad can heal quick. That combine cab is mighty inviting during harvest.

About twenty years ago I had a surgery t remove a bone chunk from my ankle. The doc said he doesn't put a cast on most people after this surgery but since I am a farmer he put a cast on me. He told me farmers go right back to work after the surgery instead of following doctors orders to stay off it for awhile.
 
I had a compound fracture of my left ankle when I was 31, didn't walk on it for 17 weeks and then it hurt bad for close to 20 years, now its fine. I'd hate to go through that at 77, good luck to old dad.
 
Glad your dad is back home. My 40 year old daughter jumped off of a runaway horse, and broke her ankle very bad. The doctors finally decided to fuse her ankle as it was not healing. It took a long time before she could walk without help. Glad your mom got your dad's attention. At his age he can't afford to have anything happen to that ankle again. Stan
 
You really need to convince your Dad that if he pushes his recovery he very well be a cripple PERMANATLY!!!!! I have seen it too many times with old farmers when they push it and never recover. A good neighbor can't use his right arm at all because of his botched shoulder recovery. He was using it a few day after surgery and tore it completely up and he has other health issues that prevent a replacement joint. He later had his left worked on an followed the recovery orders and it is fine.

I know you really can't convince a 77 year old man much but this time you really need to try. One way would be to NOT GET THAT COMBINE ready. Another would be for your Mother to lock the truck keys up so he HAS to stay where she can keep and eye on him. I know it sucks but if he will not protect himself you will have too.
 
I ended up either disabling or moving my dads equipment when he was not able to use it. It prolonged his life, but made it less enjoyable, do not know which is better.
 
It's hard to tell your dad he cant do something but I guess I'm going to have to grow a real big pair and start telling him NO! But at this point it's not to be mean or anything like that it's just to protect him from himself. This is hard for me and the first year that I did everything on the farm myself without him and now I have to start telling him no like he was a little kid, And this is hard to do. I think mom with the cast iron skillet got his attention (she did it once before when I was a kid) and dad got the idea he better listen. I know when I start cutting beans he will want to be right out there with me, At least right now his truck is not going any ware as the hood latch broke and the hood wont latch right now so were good there. It's just hard to see your dad why you always looked up to sit on the side lines and tell him he cant do what he loves to do. This is as hard on him as it is me. Bandit
 
I don't know but can you try to keep him involved so he's not just sitting on the sidelines? Like maybe pretend you don't know how to do things and ask him what to do? I know nothing about real farm work but maybe you need his help about how set up the combine or whatever (even if you know perfectly well what to do)?
 
I was thinking ahead a couple of years ago when I bought a 1550 Oliver Utility witch is a lot lower to the ground. Now I don't even know if he could ever get on it now or not. I know he cant get on his 1550 RC or the other tractors and now with the foot like it is I don't think he could work a clutch to tell you the truth. I will just have to watch him real close from now on. Bandit
 
Well I can tell you there are lots of things I don't know so that's not a problem. There are lots of thing he can do in the shop that's for sure but I got to get him motivated to do them. I do have a couple of projects I need his help on, One I have talked about for a couple years I really need to build. It looks like I have a lot to think about. Bandit
 
You will kill him if you stop him cold turkey. Get that combine ready, sit him in the tractor loader and get him in that combine. God forbid it would be his last harvest, but you would be glad you did it if it was. There's no reason he needs a machine that he could try to run on his own, but the times that you involve him with you will be valuable. It may take longer if you have to help him on a machine, but you will always remember you did it.

When grandpa started getting bad we would get him on the Farmall M and have him grind feed. He just drove it from bin to bin and barked orders. I shoveled all of the grain and opened gates. He was happiest up there and I'm glad he was involved as long as he was. He will decide what slowing down looks like for him. In the meantime you will have more time together.
 
Bandit I know what your going through is not easy. I do NOT have first hand experience with it with my Father. The reason being I never really liked him to start with so telling him NO is not hard. LOL Now when my Mother gets to this stage it will be hard as I have a lot of respect for her. She and my Father are 81. She is fine on her own and my Father is in assisted living right now. He has had mini strokes and can't be on his own.

I do not know if you can set down an talk to your Father like an equal and get him to realize he needs to limit what he does at least for now. Many older fellows are blind to the limitations of their age/condition and refuse to not over do it. If he can't limit himself you and your Mother will have to do it for him. This I have experience in with my Grand Mother. She refused to quit driving even when she could not see twenty feet from herself. So I disabled the car first and then later just removed it totally. Not fun but better than her killing herself or even worse some one else.

I know you run older equipment and that limits what you can do to make them more handicapped friendly. A hydrostatic combine really does not make you use your feet much at all. My one neighbor ran the combine for years with his boys lifting him up to the platform with a loader each morning and getting him down in the afternoon. He ran the combine when he could barely walk but his upper body was fine. So maybe try to update to some thing that your Father can use.

An example would be automatic hitches. When my Grad Father was fighting cancer he would haul loads in form the field with the cab tractor. He never even had to get down as with the auto hitches he could hook and unhook form the cab. My Mother would open the wagon doors for him at the bin. She always watched the dryer anyways. Yes it was $3000 worth of hitches but he helped harvest two more years that way.
 
I agree, Notjustair. Involve him somehow. It will do him a lot of good. Let him sit in the combine and participate as long as you can do it in a way that works around him being in the boot and keeping pressure off the ankle. You'll just need to think it through, how to do it.
 
When you take him to the doctor it more or less shoots the whole day and your about shot just from sitting around. Dad has CMT and he does not have good strength in his hands or arms now so the combine is a problem. In 08 I had my left ankle operated on and it still hurts from time to time and when it gets cold and damp. Dad has CMT so he doesn't feel that much pain witch is good but I know its hard on him anyway. They say you don't know how someone is till you walk in there shoe's, Well I am walking in his shoes now as I found out I have CMT too so I know what's down the road for me. Like father like son has new meaning for me now but I got to get dad motivated to keep him moving in a new way. Bandit
 
I don't know Dads financials at all but is it at all possible to trade the K for something hydro drive? Then help him get in the thing and let him go.
 
Having had a knee replacement this spring, a few months after another guy I know had one I have to sit on myself. The other guy tried doing too much too fast and his is screwed up. He's now behaving but he's been told that his recovery is now going to be well over a year. So I know what it's like to be on the other side of the fence in this situation. It's hard having to ask for help and admitting there are certain things I just can't do anymore. Get him involved as much as you can.

We had an old guy here who was forced to quit farming about 15 years ago due to age/health issues. He was about going nuts. Then his wife of many years died. When he switched tenants for his crop land he got a good guy who not only visited with him regularly but had equipment with buddy seats. The last 2 years the old man was alive Gary would call me (he knew I was available most of the time) I'd drive over, get the old guy into HIS pickup and drive him to whatever field Gary was in. Then between Gary and I we would get him in a tractor or combine. The first time Gary was harvesting beans. The old guy actually cried he was so happy. He would ride with Gary for hours. Gary would call me to pick him up. When his daughter showed up without notice one time he wasn't home. She panicked! Call the Sheriff! One of the deputies pulled in my drive looking for this guy. When I took here to the field they were and she saw how happy he was and that he was safe and in good hands she was ecstatic!

As others have said figure something out!

Rick
 
The look on his face is priceless, mention that to him LOL I can see he wants to be defiant just by the expression he has! if he's ok otherwise, no different than a younger person being on the bench, having to take time off, longer term he could recover and be active again I would hope.

The farmer I used to help, the last year I did, he had a serious health issue, revolving around internal bleeding, the fix was they would go in an freeze the arteries or veins to repair it, but he still wanted to be active, and this was very dangerous. He pushed it a little, but soon realized that he should not, he was persistent, not stubborn and usually never foolish. I helped out as much I could and he knew I was very trustworthy, so that made it easier, same with his sons, we all pitched in that year. Sure it was hard to watch, he had a new to him grain/sileage truck, recent hay equipment and he just enjoyed doing what he did his entire life, although it was hard on him, just the same, it never broke him and that was testament to his strong character. He fought for 5 years with this problem, but it was gaining on him, I was fortunate to sit with him one afternoon for a few hours shortly before he passed. It was just as hard on me as it was him to see him convalescing, but he said he really appreciated the visit, helped him pass the time, he would call sometimes too, probably the same conversation each time LOL! I knew he had bouts of this, so it was hard to figure when he'd be up and able to visit, I never got to see him again after that one visit because of this. At some point it probably dawned on him, there was no recovering, yet he never let it get him down that I ever saw or heard of. Your dad may very well recover from this even though he extended his situation by being stubborn, maybe you can get him to follow orders and let him know, long term, its best to do so.
 
Only thing that comes to mind for help on a tractor to get on and off WITH supervision is mounting a long hydraulic cylinder up and down with a standing plate on it by the side you get on and off. Would still have to keep an eye on things though....could mount a hand lever on the foot clutch but is a lot extra to keep track of so someone doesn't get hurt.
 
i had my left knee replaced a few years ago i decided i could drive a tractor that was not a good move i went to shove clutch down and couldn't i had to turn key off real fast. i didn't try to drive a tractor for awhile after that.
 
Help him do whatever he wants and can do. Your time with him is limited. I kept an eye on my Father for several years while watching Alzheimer's slowly eat away at him. Finally having to take the keys out of the tractors and combine so he couldn't drive them was the cruelest thing I think I've ever done.
 
If nothing else have him drive pickup some to shuffle you back and forth from field to field and such. With an atuomatic it should be fine with the other foot. This would keep him in the loop as well.
 
Guys this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with, Dads mind is sharp but his body is another story. Dad has CMT or Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease (Names of the 3 doctors that figured out this disease) and is also know as a Hereditary Motor and Sensory Neuropathy that causes Nerve damage in the legs and feet and a arms and hands and causes lessening of mussel in the arms and legs hands and feet. Not feeling pain is understandable with this condition with falling the biggest concern. Its hard to watch dad as he is now, Its hard for him to button a shirt and he cant start a nut on a bolt now as bad as his hands are now. My biggest concern is dads safety and not getting hurt or someone else hurt. This is something that you do not get better, It only gets worse with time. As it is right now he hasn't walked cense May 8 so almost 4 months with no walking and a new ankle that does not bend anymore so he has to learn to walk again. Do I let him try to do his thing and maybe get hurt or do I not let him try to do so much and let him try to work in the shop more at what ever he wants? This is a hard question I have to answer and if I make the wrong one I may have to answer to my family and live with it. I love my dad but I don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him he cant do something But I have to be realistic and keep dad safe. I have a hard row to hoe I think. Bandit
 
I want to keep dad involved as much as I can but I know I have to limit what he does for his safety. This is really hard on me to say the least. Not being able to walk or stand much and getting on and off is going to be a problem as well. I just don't know what I am going to do yet. Me and mom had a talk this afternoon while dad was taking a nap and had a good talk about some things about dad and we have a lot to think about. Maybe I can talk my son into helping dad while I am cutting beans and can be his gofer? Lots of things to think about here. Bandit
 

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