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Chris English

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Yesterday I texted a 17 year old kid that had been mowing my parents yard for the last two years and asked him if he would want to help me for about an hour today @ 1pm to help me unload 2 tons of bagged coal (40# bags). Ive been doing it myself but figured with some help it would go way faster. He said "absolutly"
Well he shows up @ 11am while I'm off getting the coal, hes sitting there with his girlfreind when I get home at noon. So he says "how long do you think this will take, my girlfreind wants to know if she should stay". Well that just hit me wrong, you see this summer he became more unreliable mowing after doing a great job the first year. The difference was he got this girlfreind. Now bear in mind we wete paying this kid 15$ an hour to mow with our equipment.
So getting back to today, I tell him to never mind and it seems his girlfreind is running his life. He gets mad and tells me to find someone else to mow, which I responded that I was sure to do that, and then I reminded him that 15$ was pretty good wages for such an irresponsible person such as him. At which point he told me to "go f@#k myself"!
Well that earned him a call to his mother to inform her what a fine young man she had (she was mortified )
Then to top it off tonight, as my wife and I pulled into our own driveway the dirtbag, system abusing neighbor whom I had to tell to stay off our property because this summer after I gave him permission to launch his peddleboat from our land near the river took it upon himself to 1. invite some people to camp there 2. invite some people to bring their dirt bikes and ride and 3. grow a couple of pot plants. So hes in his kitchen window flipping us the bird !

I guess i've turned into a grumpy ol man at 54.
Thanks for letting me vent
Chris
 
In the good old days they loaded 16 tons and what did they get, and now we need help to unload 2. Things ain't what they used to be. When someone asks me how long it will take them to do something I usually tell them it depends how fast they go.
Zach
 
What was wrong with him asking how long it would take??? Your response could have been, " probably take a hour and a half, maybe better if she came back," But no you let last summers grievences, that you should have taken care of last summer, imo, fuel a little thing into a big thing. Now you've lost your help and the opportunity to help shape a young man into the responsible young man YOU envision he ought to be. just my thoughts not even worth two cents. gobble
 
Point taken, I did let his poor decisions this pasy summer affect my actions today. I guess I expect that if paying good money a person should arrive at the time discussed, not two hours early and then question ME how long is this going to take (I asked him for an hour in the text) all I could see was his decisions are being driven by his 17 year old hormones.Priorities I guess
 
I think you could have handled the teen better. Not a fully formed adult yet. Nothing wrong with what he asked as long as he asked it politely. His girl wanted to know if she should hang around or if it was going to take a while. She went thru channels...asked him to ask you. From what you are saying, you responded negatively. Now you have to load your own coal, find a new lawn boy or do it yourself. He on the other hand will have a new job in no time. In the big picture, who came out ahead?
 
Chris: HE showed up early??? Heck around here they show up two hours late. LOL

Unless he asked you in a snotty or disrespectful way I do not see how asking how long you thought your going to need him was out of line.

I am way older than him and I have asked that very same question. So I would know if the wife should wait, or if it is was going to be a short time or go home and come back for me if it was going to take awhile.

Also your blaming the girl friend. She may have nothing to do with his issues. I can tell you this SHE will always have more sway then you will old man. She has some thing he wants/needs you only have some thing he CAN earn else where.

IF you had issues last summer you should have worked/pointed them out then and not harbored a grudge until now. One issue clouded another here I think.

Then you started a fight of words and then called his mother when he stood up to you. I hope she gets the whole story and decides that you both acted immature today. Also IF you had started that with an adult man he would have told you off too.

As far as the neighbor abusing the privilege of using some of your property. I would agree that he was out of line. I have found that many will take advantage if they can.
 
I need more help with routine chores the older I get. Kind of like admitting defeat to need help.

At any rate I only need about 5-6 hours a week help and trying to find ANYBODY is tough. All the really good folks have real jobs. Those that don't are young and need constant training and attention, what's the point. OR older and and some problem that keeps them from a real job. I currently am using a functional alcoholic. Does a great job, doesn't tear equipment up, unlike the young men I tried, I just have to catch him dead broke and dried up.
 
Um when I attended school 11:00 a.m and 1:pm weren't the same. Perhaps clocks have changed the last 45 years. I'm on a schedule 11 a.m. Does not reflect 1:00 p.m I'm sure I have my day planned better than his girlfriend. No sympathy here but I have dealt with young ones and how else do they learn? I'll give a little but make my thoughts known. We were all that age
 
If I had a 17 year old girlfriend, I wouldn't be loading the coal either! :lol:



I missed work more than a few times when I was 17 and had a very good looking girlfriend. Now, I just hope to find one who can make a good meatloaf and not burn food all the time.
 
When I ask my 18yo son to help me I tell him about how long it will take. He never complains but I do understand he has a life.
 
I don't understand how some of you are defending this kid.He said he wanted to work and shows up with his girlfriend.Early or not that's bu&^/*<t.Works work and money's money.

And to top that off some of you have complained more then once on the work ethic of todays young people.Stick to your guns Chris.You done good.
 
I'll give you a 17 year old beauty... see if you post on here when she is around! HAHAHAHA

Just try to remember what that was like!

I can remember a LOT!!!


Oh man... Oh man, oh man, oh man! I miss that young girl!


Although, she couldn't cook for a dang, and ask her to drive a stick, or pull a calf... Worthless...

But, I was 17! I could climb a silo in 2 seconds, I could pitch silage before you knew it was coming down the ladder. I could stack faster than what a modern hay accumulator could grab. I could run to town before you could get in your car and drive there... I was the man! I could put you under 10 feet of gravel before you could spread it out!



Oh... to be that young again! Oh how I wish... Oh... How I wish...



Dang...
 
The older I get, the better I was!


Want to arm wrestle me when I was 17? You loose! I was so good back then! HAHA


Of course, back then, If I did something wrong, the neighbor would yell at me, then when I got home, my parents would beat me.


I learned not to do wrong, never say "f you." But when I was young, I could pedal my bike faster than you could drive! You getting old? Nope! You are turning into that guy who gave me money because you can't!
 
Wow, that kid needs a good azz kicking. Anyone that tells someones else to "go F*** themselves" needs to be shown the way out and or get beat up. Having no respect your elders by telling them what he said is waaaaay out of line. There are places that I worked at that if you said that you would be fired within 10 minutes. (the boss would just have to get the paperwork from the front office)

I had a 28 year old guy, (very immature too) tell me to "F-off" at work last summer. I got a plan together to get him fired. It worked out perfectly, my boss fired him within a month.

I was able to get this kid fingered for driving the hi-lo unsafely (with witnesses) right after having hi-lo driver training with signed sheets proving that him and 14 others had the training.
 
You handled that a lot more reasonable than my Dad would have - or that I would have handled it. The youth of today have some hard lessons to learn - and some never will learn those lessons.

Nothing like handing someone a good dose of reality.
 
Hmm. He came when you asked for his help. He probably had some other plans, which explains why he was there two hours early. Sure, bringing his girlfriend would have rubbed me the wrong way, too, but when he asked "how long" you should have treated him like an adult and answered the question. Was your insult worth getting to unload the coal by yourself?
 
Well, I guess after reading the responses, IT WAS ME. Although I dont think I will be calling him to apologize, I will take all your comments to heart should this situation arise again. My wife agreed with me that that just isnt a way we would have acted at that age.
 
(quoted from post at 00:26:51 12/07/14) What was wrong with him asking how long it would take??? Your response could have been, " probably take a hour and a half, maybe better if she came back," But no you let last summers grievences, that you should have taken care of last summer, imo, fuel a little thing into a big thing. Now you've lost your help and the opportunity to help shape a young man into the responsible young man YOU envision he ought to be. just my thoughts not even worth two cents. gobble
Click to expand...

I agree. If it went down exactly as you said, you dropped the ball friend. It happens. Now, the real test of manhood is- do you have the character to call the kid up, tell him you were having a bad day, let him know why you jumped on him? You don't have to go begging with a weepy eyed apology, but you can let the kid know why he got the treatment he did. If he doesn't respond in kind, it's a dead end. If he does, you are teaching him how adults handle things. Might be good for both of you in the end.

Growing up in this world ain't easy. If kids don't see good role models, then they turn out like all the other lunk heads out there. I know I could of used a lot more good role models growing up. Just sayin'....
 
First off you're not old. A little set in your ways maybe, but so am I. Treat others as you want to be treated. A straight forward question deserves a straight forward answer. Sounds like you escalated and he responded. I don't think that should be an unexpected response from a young man with his girlfriend present. You probably won't get that young man back since he likely continued the discussion in the car with his girlfriend and now he has an ego to protect. We learn at all ages.
 
I forgot to ask down below.
What are you paying for bagged coal? Is it anthracite? I would like to get a coal burner, but the availabliity of it would be tough.
 
(quoted from post at 06:30:47 12/07/14) I forgot to ask down below.
What are you paying for bagged coal? Is it anthracite? I would like to get a coal burner, but the availabliity of it would be tough.
Click to expand...

WileE, I burn anthracite pea coal. I get in fifty lb. bags for approx. $8.80/bagn from my local hardware. I just did a major repair on my 25 year old stove. It self feeds by gravity from the hopper above the combustion grate.
 

Another thing to keep in mind when hiring for a short length of time is that often workers are paid for eight hours when they may really work only for five.
 
Very nice.
You are likely in coal country. (I am not)
So you are paying $360 per ton. (wood pellets are $200 per ton it varies year to year) I bought a ton of pellets from Tractor Supply last summer.
 
I worked on the neighbors' farms ever since I was strong enough to carry a corn shovel half full of wet pig manure. It was easy keeping me in line because I needed the money if I wanted to have any sort of life. Good incentive.

Many of these guys can get by without the money obviously, but although it's great they have a good home life it's too bad better manners weren't part of the curriculum.

Even when I quit my last farm job I gave 2 weeks notice and was polite. Although I didn't see eye to eye with the owner, it never would have occurred to me to curse at him on the way out.
 

You are lucky he even showed up, especially for an hour. Sounds like he came early hoping he could start the job sooner.

They probably had plans and he said he needed to help you and he came. She didn't want to end up sitting around while he worked, so was probably and legitimate question, am I here for 5 minutes or 5 hours.

He shouldn't have told you the f off either way...but I guess he felt quite strongly about your statements.

Sounds like you BOTH should apologize.
 
I do not know you. But it appears to me that you gave the kid some attitude. I would not have been happy about that either. As an adult, I might have just turned and walked away, or responded as he did. After all, you were the one who called him.
SDE
P.S. And then you called his mother.
 
I agree with about 1/2 the responses, you handled it wrong. I occasionally make a similar bad judgment with my two (29,26) adult boys. They have their own ways and we don't always agree. I make darn certain I apologize for poor judgments like this.
 
Granted I am only 16, BUT, that has given me a lot of experience with today's dumba$$ generation, and unfortunately a few fights...

He has his head all wrapped up in "that cute little thing sitting next to me"....

I kind of think that he had a legit question, like others have said 5 hours or 5 min, and I think that you might have over reacted a bit, but it sounds like you have had other problems with him, and maybe it was time to burn a bridge.

I personally TRY to apologize for everything (that also got me in a fight, and the stupid sob that started it finished it laying on the ground crying) and I think that maybe you should give him a ring and tell him what you think..

I would imagine that if you apologized for coming off a little rough, that he would probably apologize for speaking a little roughly to you, and for being early...

Just my thought, do what you want, just don't die regretting not doing something.... Bryce
 
Wile E You "get a plan together" to get a guy fired just for telling you off.

I am glad I don't live/work around you. Your response is not a very good one.
 
You blew it I'd hate to think I had to find a kid that would entertain the thought of helping to unload that coal in the first place.Also $15 hr ain't much for just a couple hrs work when he had to spend $$$ to drive to your place.
You really need to learn to relax a little.
 
Well,, he did show up. Was there early. Wanted to get the job done and get out of there. And was contacted on short notice. So what was really the problem? Was you just having a bad day or what? He brought his girlfriend along and asked how long it would take. Maybe that rubbed you the wrong way, but why?? I don't think that warrented being told to go home and being fired from the mowing job. I think an appology might be in order. For what its worth, it is VERY hard to get help to show up on short notice. You should of been happy he showed up. And that $15 you were going to pay him for an hour of un-loading coal, that does not go anywhere on a Saturday night date anymore. Where I live, that wouldn't even pay for the gas, because I am in a rural community and you have to drive a long ways if going out.
 
So is your 17 yr old a man or a boy? Only you can answer. If he is carrying a ton of coal he would up filthy to boot. There are some 17 year old's men and some snot nosed boys.

If that was someone north of 30 years and asked that question, would you have reacted differently?

Did you hire and pay him the lawn mowing work? If not, none of your business. I don't think you can hire help that young to run power equipment, if he got hurt the attorneys would have everything the employer owned.

Lastly, if he is a man, you ratted him out to his mother? Really.
 
I think you made a error.


1. At 17 I wouldn't have been treated like that in front of my girl. I would have reacted, poorly at best. At 17 I had a temper and a mouth. I would have done or said something to appear like a man to her. And that's what you did. You challenged his manhood in front of her.

2. What was her being there going to hurt? Heck she may have pitched in to help.

3. You called his mom? At 17 you could have called my mom and all that would have done was make her mad a t me and me mad at her and you. At 17 I sure wasn't going to get punished. What was she going to do? Yell a little?

I agree with others here. That kid will tell everyone he knows not to work for you. If you want to chew a worker out you always do it in private. You never put them in a position where they may feel the need to show themselves an adult to others or in this case a man in front of his girl.

Could the kid have handles it better? Sure. He could have simply said I quit and walked away.

To me it's a case of 2 wrongs.

Rick
 
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