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Name With Held 10-16-2012 11:09:54 24.229.80.165 Report to Moderator	I have a friend that farms a few miles from me. I knew him in high school but hadn’t seen him in 12 years. Just ran into him last year for the first time, and found out he is milking cows just a few miles from me. He rents a barn, and only has a few acres rented. Buys most all his feed, which has been rough the last couple years. I had picked up 8 additional hay acres near my place and offered to let him farm it on halves with me. I fronted all the money, and ended up doing most all the work,and suppling most all of the equipment and fuel. I did the mowing, tedding , and baling, while he raked. We split the hay 50/50. I also sold him a fair amount of my hay at a fairly discounted rate. On the 10 acres he farms on his own I have let him use my discbine for free. I didn’t mind helping him out, and 10 acres cut 4 times a year isn’t going to wear out my machine. My friend has recently decided to move out of state where he can afford to buy his own place. He has almost no equipment, and he would love to have a discbine like mine. I buy and sell a fair amount of equipment on the side, to supplement my farm and day job income. I recently stumbled across a discbine like mine on craigslist for a very reasonable price. It is about 600 miles from my place. I could really use the profit from selling this discbine to help buy a newer baler. I guess my question is should I sell it to my friend at my cost? I don’t even know if he can afford that….On one hand I feel like I should help him, on the other hand I have helped him many times over this year and I kind of feel like he should start helping himself. If he had cancer, or broke his leg, it would be one thing. But if he just doesn’t have enough get up and go to get things done, be organized and make a living, that’s his problem. Opinions and advice welcome.. . [Reply]   [No Email]
JayinNY 10-16-2012 17:55:57 166.137.88.171 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Don't want to sound cold, but do not help, if he don't want to help himself. You will get noweres by keep helping a person like that, just my opinion, but do as you like. Or feel good about doing. Your choice. [Reply]  [No Email]
showcrop 10-16-2012 16:37:58 75.67.231.80 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Offer it to him at going rate plus your expenses. If he is a friend he will offer to pay you some extra as a partial thanks for all that you have been doing for him. [Reply]  [No Email]
Ray 10-16-2012 15:08:28 74.5.145.85 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   It would have to be dirt cheap to afford to drive 1200 miles there and back to pick it up. Better to pay to much around home than to buy a cheap one that far from home.By the time you get there the guy might sell it to someone else,or just backout if he gets several calls and relist it higher.I've seen all types of low lifes on craigslist. [Reply]  [No Email]
Wile E 10-16-2012 15:01:31 66.188.56.202 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   I see it a different way. If you dont need the money real bad, but your friend does then sell it to him for your cost. You will be repaid later with I think it is called good karma. I have had good deals fall on me in tough times, like----a free costco 1 day coupon, I still had to buy the stuff but the 1 day pass was free to me. I got a large pile of firewood for free 10 years ago when times were tough, actually 4 pickup loads. Now I have given away firewood a few years ago to another friend that needed help. You may need help someday and your friend will may be on the generous side when he remembers who helped him now. [Reply]  [No Email]
MarkB_MI 10-16-2012 15:00:49 75.198.79.15 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Tell him about the listing, and tell him if he doesn't want it, you do. Call him back in an hour and ask if he's called on it. If the answer is "no", well, you gave him an opportunity and he didn't follow up on it. You're free to buy the thing and offer it for sale at whatever you think is a fair price, and you're under no obligation to cut him a deal on it. After all, he already turned it down at your cost. [Reply]  [No Email]
Dick2 10-16-2012 15:00:06 174.19.205.113 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   There are times to help people and times to NOT help people. This is a NOT! It's time that he learned to handle his own enterprise and to figure out how he is going to do that. Your help is just being an "enabler". If you keep doing that, he will just become dependent on other people for help. I say that the best help he can get is at the end of his arms and in his own brain to figure out how to make his own way in the world without being dependent on others. [Reply]  [No Email]
PeteTheRookie 10-16-2012 14:01:53 74.78.21.209 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   sounds like take, take, take, is what he is about. I would not be surprised if the asks to pay you later on the equipment. Either he has the $$$ or he doesn"t. I don"t know about you but I got 3 hungry boys to feed. Pete [Reply]  [No Email]
HillsOfTN 10-16-2012 13:21:08 98.87.31.8 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   I guess I gotta go against the majority opinion. My head tells me to go with the majority. My heart says to remember what an old preacher once told me many years ago. "Son, do good deeds when you have the opportunity and your reward will be laid up for you in Heaven. On the other hand, if you accept payment or praise for those deeds, then you already have gotten your reward." If he was staying around, my answer would probably be different. With him moving, however, you don"t need to make a point about sharing in the future. Your ability to feel good about yourself for your previous help will be taken away by your profit from your very last transaction. Note: Your mileage and opinion may vary! [Reply]  [No Email]
jackinok 10-16-2012 13:13:56 162.58.82.136 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   A friend i would help no questions asked.BUT sounds to me as if your questioning if he "IS" a friend. none of us probably can help you much, since we only know what youve told us,and dont know the guy. If I personally were really questioning the fellows motives,I would say sell the machine yourself.youll shortly find out if hes a friend when word gets around. you can be friends without being buisness partners. sounds like hes trying to help himself if hes buying a place.did he pay for the hay he bought? did you set the price just to help him out? if you set the price ,and he paid sounds as if you both made a deal. it also seems to me,that if hes really a friend he'll understand if you need to sell this for a profit. offer it to him first for what you need and if he cant buy it thats not your problem,, partner,friend ,or whatever.if hes a friend he should be happy you found one even if its out of his price range.if he gets mad,too bad, and your just thinking hes your friend. [Reply]  [No Email]
El Toro 10-16-2012 12:13:31 108.3.143.30 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Charge him the going price. As been mentioned don't sell to friends or relatives. Hal [Reply]  [No Email]
slim 10-16-2012 12:47:22 140.194.40.41 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to El Toro, 10-16-2012 12:13:31   Either charge him the going price or show him the craigslist ad and tell him to get with it. slim [Reply]  [No Email]
MarkWV 10-16-2012 11:56:40 75.111.166.227 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   easy answer, dont do business with friends, think you already learned that [Reply]  [No Email]
Janicholson 10-16-2012 11:29:38 199.17.55.139 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Not even on terms or a plan. Outright cash or you will never see it. Your generosity has been on target. his growth should be based on his reality not yours. Jim [Reply]  [No Email]
LA in WI 10-16-2012 11:29:06 50.50.78.146 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Your second-to-last sentence is your answer to your problem. You know what needs to be done; now you just have to do what you have to do. LA in WI [Reply]  [No Email]
David G 10-16-2012 11:27:04 204.29.138.33 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   He is not really a friend, take care of yourself, let him buy his own equipment. [Reply]  [No Email]
dave2 10-16-2012 11:20:49 79.240.148.7 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   pretty loose with that term "friend"...... I'd have cut the cord as soon as he had the balls to look you in the eye and hold you to the 50/50 deal and still buy your hay below local prices..... If you're lucky, you won't see him for another 12 years....... [Reply]  [No Email]
Traditional Farmer 10-16-2012 11:14:08 67.233.70.253 Report to Moderator	Re: OT-Helping a friend/Drawing the line in reply to Name With Held, 10-16-2012 11:09:54   Sounds like its been one sided enough already,and you have to make a living too.Sooooooooooo..... [Reply]  [No Email]