maybe an eye opening experience

larry@stinescorners · Sep 9, 2012

Im very proud of my daughter, but I sometimes feel she is a little spoiled,She does help clean the house,but only when her company is coming. Sometimes when we go to PA ,We get eggs at a Mennonite farm,I keep all the empty egg boxes on a shelf till we go back there and they reuse them.Last week my daughter was having a friend over,she cleaned the house,and said dad Im throwing out the empty egg boxes. I didnt argue with her. This week I was glad she was with us to go get some eggs.She had never been with us to the Mennonite farm before. On the front porch are tables with produce and brown eggs, There was only one dozen,when we walked up a girl about the age of my daughter walked out , We all said hello and I asked if she had any more eggs . She said Ill go right to the chicken house and collect them,and off she went in her bare feet. My daughter said to me ,dad why didnt you just get the one dozen and leave her alone? When she came back,I said Im sorry you had to go to get the eggs,she said ,oh no I would have gone anyway,I should have gone sooner,but I was cooking lunch for the younger children in the house. As I looked on the porch and saw a bag of empty egg boxess,I said to the young girl,I have some egg boxes at home,I forgot to bring them. She said,bring them along next time ,we appreciate them. As we drove off my daughter said dad is that how they make a living? I said ,not entirely,but each person in the family does as much as they can to help, I think a life lesson might have gotten through to her,

Hoofer B · Sep 9, 2012

I see a hen house in her future.

MarkWV · Sep 9, 2012

always helps to see people with less living happily, helps us to appreciate what we have, she will remember that encounter for life

oldtanker · Sep 9, 2012

(quoted from post at 06:01:04 09/09/12) always helps to see people with less living happily, helps us to appreciate what we have, she will remember that encounter for life

Mark you hit that old nail right on the head. Kids and some older folks just don't understand that you don't have to have everything or be rich to be happy. At lot don't understand that members of a family shouldn't have to be paid to help family too.

Rick

SweetFeet · Sep 9, 2012

larry@stines,
Neat story. It would be interesting to ask your daughter her thoughts on the trip... in a week or two, after she has some time to contemplate it - and post her thoughts.

Old Iowa · Sep 9, 2012

Larry you should explain to her how she should be happy to be in a family that provides for all her needs. That Mennonite girl may not have been doing without because a lack of money. They just have a basic belief in living a more simple and less mercenary life style. I have several Mennonite and Amish friends. Some of them may be poor but most are not. They just live a much simpler life style.

Their order of belief is: 1)GOD 2)Family 3)Community. Notice that Self is not in the top three. Look at young people in the main stream and self is the top one.

Not just throwing rocks either. My kids are/where just the same. The only good thing is that most can grow out of it as they age. Some don't though.

Maybe explain to your daughter that her responsibilities don't change just because her friends are coming over. She should be helping ALL of the time. I know it is easier to just do the things yourself but it is not in her long term best interests. You and the wife need to sit down an decide what your daughter should be doing on a daily basis. I don't care if she is going to school. My wife and I have to clean/cook/ maintain our house with all the other things that life requires doing. I can't just quit doing these things just because I have to work or etc. They have to be done. She should learn that NOW not later. She is not a small child any more. We treat young men and women as children much longer than in the past. That is not doing them any favors.

Goose · Sep 9, 2012

I agree that young adults are being treated as children by their parents far longer than they used to.

I can recall when I was a kid back in the 1940's, my sister and I would come home from grade school and cook our own supper because our father was still out in the field and our mother was off on an important errand of some sort. I was probably 8 or 9 and my sister 10 or 12 at the time. We thought nothing of it, that was just the way it was.

More recently, when my wife worked in Student Housing at the University of Nebraska, at the start of every fall semester she would have to teach a dozen or more freshmen students how to use a washer and do laundry. Here were 18 and 19 year olds who had never ever ran a load of clothes through a washer before.

Even our daughter, who has always had a self-sufficient streak, said halfway through her freshman year in college (in 1995) that it was an absolute crime how unprepared most of the girls in her dorm were to be on their own. She went through the same routine of showing other girls how to do laundry, sort clothes between colors and whites, etc.

It's a simple matter of parents abdicating their duties as parents. And some of the parents are pretty danged sorry examples themselves.

Our daughter attended, and graduated from, Nebraska Wesleyan University, a private Methodist school. During orientation for both parents and students at the start of her freshman year there was a an orientation session that was billed as a religious service. I dressed accordingly with a coat and tie.

I was appalled to see other fathers of students walk in wearing greasy baseball caps and T shirts with obnoxious slogans. And not bother to remove their caps during the service. With role models like that, it's no wonder some of our young folks are as screwed up as they are.

Didn't mean to sermonize, but ya'll get the idea.

oldtanker · Sep 9, 2012

(quoted from post at 07:52:38 09/09/12) I agree that young adults are being treated as children by their parents far longer than they used to.

I can recall when I was a kid back in the 1940's, my sister and I would come home from grade school and cook our own supper because our father was still out in the field and our mother was off on an important errand of some sort. I was probably 8 or 9 and my sister 10 or 12 at the time. We thought nothing of it, that was just the way it was.

More recently, when my wife worked in Student Housing at the University of Nebraska, at the start of every fall semester she would have to teach a dozen or more freshmen students how to use a washer and do laundry. Here were 18 and 19 year olds who had never ever ran a load of clothes through a washer before.

Even our daughter, who has always had a self-sufficient streak, said halfway through her freshman year in college (in 1995) that it was an absolute crime how unprepared most of the girls in her dorm were to be on their own. She went through the same routine of showing other girls how to do laundry, sort clothes between colors and whites, etc.

It's a simple matter of parents abdicating their duties as parents. And some of the parents are pretty danged sorry examples themselves.

Our daughter attended, and graduated from, Nebraska Wesleyan University, a private Methodist school. During orientation for both parents and students at the start of her freshman year there was a an orientation session that was billed as a religious service. I dressed accordingly with a coat and tie.

I was appalled to see other fathers of students walk in wearing greasy baseball caps and T shirts with obnoxious slogans. And not bother to remove their caps during the service. With role models like that, it's no wonder some of our young folks are as screwed up as they are.

Didn't mean to sermonize, but ya'll get the idea.

Goose, funny you should mention the service. When we were still in Jersey before my dad retired from the Army we attended church every Sunday. Dad and I always wore a suit and tie, mom and sis a nice modest dress. When we moved onto the farm and started attending the lcoal church things did not change. Most of the local farmers wore clean clothing but it would be jeans or bibs and a shirt. A very short time later you started seeing these old farmers wearing new jeans or bibs, a nice shirt and a tie. Was kinda funny to see. By the time we were here a couple of years it was at least slacks and a nice shirt with tie with many having a jacket.

And you are very correct on the example many parents are teaching. There is no excuse for it!

Rick

Dick2 · Sep 9, 2012

I had a cousin that got married and she had never cooked ANYTHING and had never washed a dish or did laundry in her whole life.

Nedless to say, our kids all had to do their share of domestic things. However, daughter always cooked food that was luke warm when she served it - and that's not the way that we like it. They both had to service, maintain and repair their own cars while they live at home.

Traditional Farmer · Sep 9, 2012

I know your daughter won't think so but the Monnonite girl is the more fortunate of the two
think of all the education is she is getting just selling eggs and the lessons she is learning will be with her for a lifetime.

JMS/.MN · Sep 9, 2012

All six of our kids had chores, starting in second grade, by helping distribute bedding in the dairy barn. There never was a question about it- it"s the parent"s responsibility to establish that pattern, that they are part of the family, and everyone contributes. Sometimes fun, sometimes mundane. There was discussion here recently about today"s kids........well, we as parents are responsible for how they turn out. It"s easy to let things slide, but it comes back later to bite.

Maxgussam · Sep 9, 2012

There is a definite correlation between the way young adults act today, and the lack of compulsory military service.
Time in the military also will make a person a better parent... Teaching responsibility, discipline etc.

guido · Sep 9, 2012

Hello larry@stinescorners,

I have found the same thing you did.
You can tell them many things, and they soon forget many of them.
Once you show them, then it sinks in a lot better.
Guido.

maybe an eye opening experience

larry@stinescorners

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Hoofer B

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MarkWV

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oldtanker

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SweetFeet

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Old Iowa

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Goose

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oldtanker

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Dick2

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Traditional Farmer

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JMS/.MN

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Maxgussam

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guido

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