Who raised this younger generation?

You parents out there need to take ownership of how your kids turned out. A person is only as good or bad as the example they follow. If your children do not see you as a mentor then ask yourself why that is. Your kids pick up all your bad and good habits, do as I say and not as I do never works. If your kid has a bad habit and you want it to stop then you have to change your habit so they have an example to follow.

Some other things I have learned is that once a person hits about 40 they think they know it all and God forbid someone younger show them up !!
You cant make a sweeping generalization that all young people are lazy,selfish, and dumb.

So, grow up, take ownership of what you created and then remember that people probably said the same thing about you when you were young. Have a great day.

I had one guy complain about how dumb his kid was. I didn't say anything, but dad was a drunk, smoked dope, lost his license, had girlfriends and a wife. And he wonders where the kid got it....

I gotta argue withl you on part of what you said, I never drank, smoked, run around on my wife, used drugs or tried to default on loans. I worked hard and brought my check home to be spent on the family. We had one boy, one girl, and my value of how things were to be done were family matters, they were brought up with this. The boy turned out great, has the same values as I do, and his kids are following in his foot steps. The girl on the other hand, went completely the other way, nothing we could tell her, or threaten her with would or could change her way. She used drugs, ran with the wrong crowd, she appears to be going the right way now, but she's over 40, been married 4 times and's got 4 kids, each has a different dad.

A few generations ago you could lay it all at the feet of the parents but today there are many external corrupting influences. The kids that can read can go online and see how the local "successful" business person, professional athlete, entertainer, etc. skirts the law. I could see even when I was in college that ethics were pushed aside for hard business analysis. I know everybody's experience is different when it comes to love but most girls I got to know were cold and calculating when I was younger. It's going to get real ugly before it just all of a sudden falls completely apart in this country. Yes, there are plenty of trashy parents out there but that is just the tip of the iceberg today.

Hi Stuart. I cant tell you how many times my own words have come back to haunt me over the last 7 years. When my kids where small we would be out someplace and see someone’s kids throwing a fit or acting up and I was always tell my wife "boy no kid of mine will ever act like that" We were in church three times a week every week. We did everything with our kids and for them. Ha we did way too much for them. When my daughter turned 17 she went nuts. Just like turning on a switch overnight she was running with all the wrong people. Had to involve the law a few times. She now at age 23 is trying to pick up the pieces of her live after a lot of bad decisions. She is going to nursing school now while my wife and I are for the most part raising our granddaughter. My son is 21 and sweet boy but prefers hunting and fishing and playing over work. Is just working for min wage as long as the work is not too hard. I take full responsibility. I was very strict with them and at the time thought I was doing all I could for them. In fact we did everything for them. A big mistake looking back. It is my fault, but it breaks your heart none the less when you see your kids making such poor choice.

Stuart: like some who replied to your post, the problems are so complexed, with situations of peer pressure from outsiders,things a person raising kids can't control. Kids see other kids getting by with bad antics at home,freedom to do as they well please, rubs off on kids who have a stricter up bringing.Kids have rebelious streak when they see how children of parents who don't have any morals,values,sence of responsibility etc. That goes on from generation to generation. If you could solve that problem, the world would beat a path to your door. No need for psychiatry,juvy court and the host of other efforts. JMHO
LOU.

Some people take offesne to this but, the abilty to bring a child in to the world does not ever mean that either parent has or will ever have the proper skills, patience, and time to raise that child.
Having children is still such party in the minds of people. True, it bring excitement, laughter, new adventures, but not many folks are in it for the 18 to 20 something years it takes to get the job done.
I hear all the time about women that had the last child just trying to keep the marriage together. Now that is the way to decide to take on two decades of daily responsibilty, isn't it?

Thanks A-Hole,you don't know my kids from a bale of hay. My daughter manages a dental office,her husband is plant manager in an auto parts manufacturing plant.
My oldest son graduated from University of Ohio and is one of the top high performance engine builders in the state of Michigan.
My youngest had his own business at one time doing construction and insulation work. He's manager of the CNC department in the factory where he works now and just bought a house.

Be careful who you're jumping all over when you're making generalizations. My oldest even thanked me sarcastically one time when my wife complained that he and his brother were both putting in WAY too many hours. He said "Dad taught us to work that way. THANKS DAD for raising us to be responsible".

There's just no single pat answer as to why kids do the things they do. Using myself as an example, I couldn't have had two more caring, moral, hard-working parents than I did. Yet I went through a number of years of doing things I wouldn't have wanted them to know about, things which if they had taken just a slight turn in the wrong direction could have shaped the rest of my life. Sometimes a child's life direction is set in just a moment---a moment of poor decision, poor choice of companion, immaturity to deal with emotions, or just chance.

We've all seen children who had it all and turned out bad and children who had nothing but a sht sandwich and turned out great. We've seen siblings grow up in the same good (or bad) environment and all turn out completely different from the others. Who knows? Granted, this generation has some pressures, distractions and even standards that are different from what many of us older folks had.

Just to be clear, this is not said to absolve parents from the responsibility of committedly trying to be the best parents they know how to be.

Sorry but the parents are to blame. The truth is hard to swallow sometimes.

Then you did a great job. The point I was making and you missed it was that if whether your kids turn out great or poor, you are responsible.

For better or for worse, that "village" they talk about raises our kids. Should they? Or do we WANT the village raising our kids? Not going their.... But society in general has strong infuences on how our kids "grow up". And they get the BAD influences just as much (or maybe even more) than the GOOD influences. Schools, and the teachers....TV and the whack-o's on there, friends, neighbors, ect, effect the end result in how kids turn out....how they evolve into young adults.

Now, take into account just how many "village idiots" you know of in every day life. Kids today don't have a fighting chance of turning out "normal" whatever that is.

JMHO, and worth about what you paid for it.

I have friends who have 3 kids (all adult now). 2 of those kids grew up in a fashon that would make a parent proud. the third one was a handful from the time she was about 5. at 14 she ran off and became a street person, doing what ever she needed to to keep her belly full. The parents are raising her 2 kids. The 3 kids all got raised in a loving christian household, and were raised in the same way as siblings.
Its not always how they were raised, or by whom they were raised.
Lets be careful how wide a brush we paint these idea's with.
Tim in OR

Meant to type "not going THERE" instead of "their. Don't want to get anyone riled up....

Stuart,

Did you raise any children lately or are you one of those funny closet fellas? Go have your rant somewhere else.

Vito

Why don't you enlighten us about some of the acomplishments of your own kids that make you proud?

Then I guess I did OK in spite of myself. I didn't have time to go to most of their ball games or take them on big expensive family vacations,in fact,we went away ONE night for a family vacation while they were all growing up.
What I did do was things like when I took them to the Burger King drive through at noon one day while my wife was working,and the kid gave me too much change,I told him,hold it,you gave me too much. They asked why I didn't keep it and I just told them it wasn't mine to keep. That the kid would have been in trouble if he came up short. And I made it real clear to them when I knew the kids they were hanging out with were less than desirable,that their name was worth more than anything they could ever steal.
Did I ever use physical dicipline? You bet I did. When my daughter was 14 and getting out of line too far,I took her over my knee and blistered her backside til my hand was numb. And the boys wouldn't quit fighting in the barn one night when they were supposed to be getting the cows in. I took a wooden cane right across their backsides and made them think about it the next few times they tried to sit down.
But do I take any cedit for how they turned out? No. I and my wife have both had people stop us on the street or in stores and tell us what a good job we did raising them. I don't ever know what to tell them. I sure didn't think I was there for them as much as I should have been compared to how other parents did things with their kids. All I did was worked with them side by side every day. I just tell folks that it's because they milked cows and they'd do anything to keep from ever having to do that again.

I come from a family of six kids. 3 boys 3 girls. None of us ran with the wrong crowd or made decisions that would haunt a life time. All due to what my parents taught us. Never misbehaved in public to much, respect our elders, and will give the shirt off our backs in a time of need. Are we perfect? NOOOOO !!!!

There"s no question that setting a good example is of primary importance. Having the wisdom to judge how much or how little freedom to allow and at what age is also right up there. But to make a statement that it"s the parents fault in all cases is not being very objective or fair. There are other things that influence kids that the parents may or may not catch and then may or may not be able to change. There are kids from bad situations that turn out good and kids from good situations that turn out less than ideal. Kids that are raised the same way in the same family turn out differently. It"s pretty unfair to judge people when you don"t truly know their situation or the extent of events or people, other than family, that influenced them.

Guess that's where we're different. I was in the middle of six kids too. Two older brothers,an older sister,a younger brother and sister. I hung around with some wild kids in the neighborhood. How we kept from being killed as much road drinking as we did as teenagers,I'll never know. I got a girl knocked up in high school,married her and she left me to raise the little girl without her.
Not exactly the begining of a real success story,but the best lessons you'll ever learn are the ones from the school of hard knocks.
I don't remember how many times my oldest brother said if he ever had kids who acted like me and my younger brother,he'd kill'em. Then he had kids of his own. What a bunch of hellions. I'd like to think they finally straightened up because they knew my dad,my younger brother and I were influincing them from the things we'd learned the hard way than from anything their dad did to dicipline them.

Who wants the village idiot and the town drunk to have a say in raising their child?

Let me tell you a sad story. My Aunt's second husband (already starting out bad eh?) had two boys from his first marriage. Let's skip to the ending one in in prison in California doing life without parole (murder), the other is a hard working pipe fitter who not only works long hours to pay his bills but puts in additional time caring for a wife with MS, they have raised a smart and beautiful daughter who will be finishing college in a year.

The book that tells the story of the murder lays a lot of blame for the younger son on a father that was abusive and was a habitual user of marijuana. Oh by the way the son that is a productive member of society is the one that choose to live with his dad, the murderer stayed with his mom. Both the boys got into trouble when they were about 10 and 8, dad went to bat and paid for the church windows they broke. When he tried to get custody of both boys he was turned down because he had no proof his ex-wife wasn't a fit parent, turns out he should of let the church file a complaint and have the complaint/case proceed through the juvenile system, it wouldn't be a lasting scar as juvenile records get sealed when they turn 18, but he would have some proof in the legal system that the boys weren't getting the guidance/supervision they needed from Mom and the new squeeze. In spite of his faults and lack of parenting skills My Aunt and Uncle were able to instill some values in the older boy, he had some rough patches and made a few mistakes but was able to pull it together when his family needed him (wife with MS). But he was taught his actions will have ramifications example he failed a grade in school, his step mom (my Aunt)worked a a University he got to go to summer school that year at the university and he got to ride in with his step-mom and be there 2 1/2 hours early and hang out at a deserted university for hours after class until step mom was done with work and heading home. He worked a little harder in school after that so he would get his summers off.

That second sentence says it all. I can't tell you how many times I've heard parents of down right rotten kids say something stupid like "you just have to trust them". You TRUST them when you know you've taught them well enough to know right from wrong,not until. God knows they won't learn it from their equally young and foolish friends.

As far as the last things you said,yea,maybe an ag based forum isn't the place to be making a bunch of talk radio type asumptions that ALL kids are rotten to the core and it's because their parents are irresponsible. Most of us are pretty darned proud of the way our kids have turned out,dispite who raised them.

Well......I guess somebody has to serve as an example of how NOT to live your life.

I did NOT say I like/want "the village" raising my kids, but like it or not, unless you lock your kids away in the cellar, they're going to be exposed to teachers, friends (both theirs and yours) TV, other relatives, the internet, ect.

It's virtually impossible to raise a child in todays world with the ONLY influences being their parents. You don't have to like it, but you dang sure have to DEAL WITH IT.

...and that's where you step in....

...and that's where you step in....

Truth of the matter is, each child has it's own personallity and it changes as they grow up,even the parents have a diff personallity and often causes conflict as how to deal with a particular problem that arises in their own relationship or with kids of diff ages and all of them changing as time goes by
As two parents Who have to get experience on the go (As there is no child rearing manual to go by)and one or the other often come from disfunctional families themselves it is still amazing that the majority still turns out right.
I know one thing,when i grew up in the fifties life was a "ell of a lot simpler than today. Everybody had to pitch in with the daily chores wether one liked it or not.
There were no distractions as we have today with all these electronic devices and i had never heard of peer pressure either back then. Bullying in school we dealt with by ganging up on the offender and no one interfered if the guy got a broken nose or busted teeth.
Today's world is just a bunch of sissy's, one can't even discipline his kids no more for the fear gov-ment reprisal.
Society has changed,and not for the better.

I'm glad all my 4 kids turned out right and can pull up their own pants,altough one is divorced(luckely no kids to fight over) The other 3 have partners,2 of them i don't like but what can one do but grin and bear it.
I married aug 17 40 yrs ago,knocked her up at 17,..we're still together and are still on honey moon. :wink:

I'm glad i don't have no kids to raise in today's world. I have no grand kids yet either,and don't know if i want them when i look around me and see what "ell hounds a lot of them yung ones are.

(quoted from post at 13:22:42 09/06/12) I come from a family of six kids. 3 boys 3 girls. None of us ran with the wrong crowd or made decisions that would haunt a life time. All due to what my parents taught us. Never misbehaved in public to much, respect our elders, and will give the shirt off our backs in a time of need. Are we perfect? NOOOOO !!!!

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We raised 7 kids. None have ben in trouble with the law. 2nd son is in IT making good money. #3 son is simi self employed and works another job too. #4 spent 4 years in the Navy, got out went to work and joined the Nation Guard. Just started school for gun smithing. #1 daughter is married and a stay at home mom but is active in her church and with the school. #2 daughter is also married, working part time and going to school. #3 daughter is a mediacal lab tech plus a mother......now on to the #1 son. 5 1/2 years in the Air Force. Got out went to work was doing OK, then went to college. Still trying to figure out what happened. Quit school, got married, had a daughter, thinks he's too good to work for someone, sees nothing wrong with living in a ratty trailer or being on welfare. He wants to be self employed but can't understand that the customer is the boss. Thinks he can work when he wants too. I'm ashamed of him! And he darn sure DID NOT LEARN THAT AT HOME! We were never on public assistance and he knows how I feel about that. Wish I could blame it on drugs or booze but he isn't into drugs and drinks very little. He loves sto sit around and talk about "living off the grid". He also blames everything on Bush. I'd love to kick hi a$$ but he wouldn't learn from it and he would charge me with assualt and battery and I think he would try to sue. He tried to black mial us with no being able to see our grand daughter but his wife put her foot down over that. Seems she is thinking about leaving.

Rick

Raised two daughters-one is married and expecting our first grand daughter end of September! Other one was a paramedic before she turned 21! They are not perfect, matter of fact, they can be frustrating at times, but I think they will be fine. When she was dating her husband, daughter 1 tells me her BF can not learn to drive. Matter of fact, the day he graduated from HS, he HAD to move out-his step Dads rule! He was not allowed to drive his Moms car, and when he moved out, he moved in with an uncle, and he was not allowed to drive his Aunts car either. I knew transportation was going to be crucial for him the rest of his life, so, I hired him to help me finish building my garage! That meant I had to go get him in the morning, and take him home in the afternoon, but it also gave us some time to get to know each other. Told him I would pay his way thru driving school when he had earned it! I figured, even if he did not marry the daughter, as long as he earned it, that would be fine. I gave him $100 cash when we were almost done, then told him to pick his driving school and I would have a check for that school when he needed it. He got his drivers license, not sure what he would do without it!

I remember back in high school, played football. Was a better defensive tackle than an offensive one, but we practiced both ways in case someone got hurt and had to fill in. This one particular game, the starting and second string offensive tackles were out hurt and I was first string defensive tackle, third string offensive tackle. That game I was going both ways, defense and offense playing almost every down. There was this one play as offensive tackle that called for me to step out and cut left or right, take out the linebacker, but when I did, he wasn't there, so like a moron I stopped and looked around in time to see the safety blowing by me at full speed through the gaping hole I left open, and he hit my quarterback so hard that he knocked his helmet clean off before flattening him. It was bad. My quarterback didn't get up for a while and our team medics were out there trying to glue his head back on so he could regain consciousness, because he was out cold. Looking back, that injury time out finally gave me a much needed break, the wrong way though. As I stood there watching them try to put his cleats back on, pull his shoulder pads up from around his waist, and perform CPR on what was left of him, trying to regain my own breath, I looked over at the sideline, and there was my head coach just looking at me. He moved his finger like, "Come here", so I did.

When I got there, he just stood, arms crossed, looking at me eye to eye as a former defensive guard or tackle that had played for the NY Giants in his younger days and he didn't say a word. His silence was deafening as he stared into my eyes, so I did the only thing I could do, and pleaded my case. "Coach, the play called for me to step out, cut, take out the linebacker, be he wasn't there, and now our quarterback is dead". I went on and on and on pleading my case until I finally ran out of things to say, stars in the sky to point at, and breath. When I got done, he simply asked "Are you finished?, and I thought a second and nodded that I was.

That's when Coach Rems said something to me that I have never forgotten and never will. He said, "Excuses have never gotten the job done, and they never will", then he told me to take a break and sat me on the bench for the rest of the game. They carried our quarterback off the field, but next week we were both back, his black eyes and my bruised ego mostly gone, although I don't think they ever found his one missing ear or all of his teeth.

Excuses have never gotten the job done, and they never will. I live my life that way. R.I.P. Coach Rems, you taught me a lesson that stuck with me.

Mark

I think the problem is a combination of electronics they have today and the child labor laws. All the computers and smart phones that occupy their time instead of finding something constructive to do. Then the government sticking their nose into our personal lives preventing a child from working until they are almost an adult is adding fuel to the fire. When I was young I was always looking for odd jobs and if that wasn't available I went all over town looking for coke bottles for the bottle deposit. I can't picture any youths of today doing anything remotely similar. I think the constant searching for some income has done more for my work ethic than anything.

(quoted from post at 04:19:49 09/07/12) I think the problem is a combination of electronics they have today and the child labor laws. All the computers and smart phones that occupy their time instead of finding something constructive to do. Then the government sticking their nose into our personal lives preventing a child from working until they are almost an adult is adding fuel to the fire. When I was young I was always looking for odd jobs and if that wasn't available I went all over town looking for coke bottles for the bottle deposit. I can't picture any youths of today doing anything remotely similar. I think the constant searching for some income has done more for my work ethic than anything.

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Add in that they are being taught in school that it's their right to this that and the other thing......they think it's their right to sit on their backsides and do nothing.

Rick

Stephen,
I totally agree with you that raising the age of when children can start working has caused too many kids to grow up with a weak work ethic.
Where we live kids can not get working papers until they are 14. By then they seem to conclude their parents are merely "banks" with a endless supply of money to buy them whatever they need/want.
"Why work when mom and dad buy me everything I need already?"
Add in the both parents work or the parents are divorced and "feel guilty" and spoil kids to soothe themselves.
Top it off with the all the electronics and we are creating a generation of instant gratification addicts.
So it is different then prior generations.
All the electronics have hard wired alot of today's young minds(brains) differently then prior generations.
Robots are the answer. We need to go full steam ahead into robotic R&D until we can make droids that will do all those mundane jobs/chores no one wants to. I envision "personal assistant droids" that look after us and cater to our every whim.
We will then be left to think, read, persue high levels of Consciousness until we attain Nirvana!
LOL

Pete

The reason kids ain't pickin up bottles along the road these days is cause it's so darned hard to find a burlap bag and a brown suit.