O/T Work place funnies

37chief · Oct 24, 2011

Like myself a lot of people on this sight have had or still have factory jobs to support their tractors. Along with these factories jobs, comes different things that we remember that still make us smile. Most of my time was in the maintenance shop. One I remember. I was in the weld shop, and had finished cuttig a piece of metal. The boss came into the room to chew me out for something, and stood on a pile of hot metal. By the time he realized what was going on, and the rubber smell was from his shoe. A hole was already in his shoe, and burning his foot. He left in a hurry, and never finished chewing me out, The whole shop got a good laugh over that. One time one of the second shift people took a dump in the air vent above that same foreman's office. He kept smelling something. When he fount out what it was he was not very happy at all. He never did find the person. In my 40 some years there are so many more things I can remember. I'm sure there things you remember. Rather it be in a factory, or on the farm. Stan

Jiles · Oct 24, 2011

I remember, many years ago, there was an older man that when told something, he had done more and had more then anyone else.
One day a fellow worker was talking about searching his property for a lost calf.
This older person asked him how many acres he had and he replied 30 acres. The older gentleman just laughed and when he was asked how many acres he had, he replied---"put it this way, sonny boy, I can crank my truck at first daylight, and at dark I am still on my property.
The younger man stated "Yeah I know what you mean--I had a Chevy truck one time!"

Goose · Oct 24, 2011

I shouldn't even admit to this.

I once worked in an Avionics shop in the Marine Corps, and one model of aircraft had a rear pointing radar antenna that had a gearbox with about a dozen small assorted gears in it. A buddy of mine was overhauling one of the gearboxes one day. He cleaned up all the gears, laid them out in a row in order for reassembly. He then went to get a cup of coffee.

Smart Alec me, I put another gear in line with the others. I figured he'd quickly figure it out and it would be good for a few laughs.

The guy tore his hair out trying to fit the gears together, and by the time he figured out what happened, there was no way I was going to own up to being the culprit. By then, he was seriously ready to start swinging!

Mike (WA) · Oct 24, 2011

This was military, too, and kind of like work.

On tank maneuvers in the desert of eastern Washington. Tank threw a track. I was the newby, and the tank commander sent me back to the motor pool to get a BFR. So I drove the jeep 6 or 7 miles in, asked for BFR- motor pool guy laughed, and said, "I don't know how many times I've told those field guys, BFR has to be acquired locally. Its all right in the PAM."

Went back out, gave the message- they already had it fixed, and said "never mind- we found one-" and pointed to a large rock.

Joke was kind of on them- I got a nice drive while they put a track back on, on a hot day. Good laughs had by all.

The next year I had a little seniority, so sent a new kid back to the motor pool to get a sky hook.

jeremy in NE · Oct 24, 2011

I came into the maint. shop and seen two of the maint. guys putting a surgical glove filled with, what I thought was air, into a vise to stop the air from coming out. Next thing I know, they wave a torch past the glove and it sounded like a bomb went off. Couple guys working a few yards away hit the deck and all of management came running. Said I didnt see a thing.

smallercrawler · Oct 24, 2011

Worked at a machine shop where production foreman also "supervised" back shift maintenance crew. Not a great situation, but got worse when new "kid" foreman took over. He would NOT get his hands dirty for any reason. This tended to irk the operators and maintenance crew. Old time maintenance man put a abundant amount of paste type layout blueing on the kid's desk phone earpiece, waited for him to go to his office and paged him. The kid answered page. Of course the blueing went all over the kid's ear and face, he absently brushed at it, and was soon covered with it. He actually turned purple with rage, vowing to fire the jerk who had done this. About 3 hours later, after the kid had cooled down and cleaned up somewhat, the maintenance guy went up and apoligized and shook hands with the kid-of course first filling his right hand with a gob of blueing. Pure screaming meltdown on the part of the kid!! Several "observers" nearly had heart attacks laughing. Surprisingly the two got be pretty good friends.

37chief · Oct 24, 2011

That is kind of like sending the new kid in aircraft power plant shop to supply for a can of prop wash. stan

oldtanker · Oct 24, 2011

Many military tasks involve finding flight and sky line, grid squares the on off switch for a range fan sight reticals and many other interesting things!

Rick

Goose · Oct 24, 2011

All sorts of stuff in the military.

Once, in the Corps, the engine shop got a new Pfc. The M/Sgt in charge of the shop sent the kid out for fifty yards of flight line. The Pfc bit.

A few days later, the M/Sgt was assembling a jet engine and told the same Pfc to get him a tailpipe stretcher, which actually existed. These engines had a large fairing that fit over a lip on the back of the engine with a lock ring. There was a special tool used to expand the fairing to place it over the lip on the back of the engine. The tool probably had a fancy military nomenclature, but in common use it was called a "tailpipe stretcher".

The Pfc wasn't about to get burned twice. He argued for 15 minutes that there was no such thing as a "tailpipe stretcher".

Sam#3 · Oct 24, 2011

In the radar shop we sent the new guy to the suppy room for a fallopian tube.

TomH in PA · Oct 24, 2011

Once we got a guy to run down to the mess deck and ask for some sanitary napkins...

Anonymous-0 · Oct 24, 2011

There's been a few things I've seen done over the years but don't remember a lot of them. One in particular I should have made a big deal out of with the foreman. A guy thought it was funny to flip up the welding lens on my helmet when I was in the process of welding in a bit of an ackward position. I did tell him where to go though. A much nicer practical joke we played on a new apprentice was painting his welding lens black so he couldn't see when he struck an arc. It took him a while to figure out why he couldn't see. He even looked at the lens but since it's dark anyway, he never noticed at first that it was painted.

Anonymous-0 · Oct 24, 2011

never ending supply of funnies in the military........ We had 12" crescent wrenches in our toolboxes that had 12" stamped on one side and 300mm on the other. Was under a vehicle and asked the guy that was watching me to hand me my crescent wrench..... As he was reaching it to me he said "wait a minute, this is a metric one, let me go get you mine........

pat sublett · Oct 24, 2011

Worked with a guy once who was enambered with self. He had some kind of minor operation and spent to much time talking about it. He was elaberating on it one day to a group of us and this cute young thing that everyone was infatuated with said "Have you heard about the two cows rased up in the same pasture. They were split up and sold. A few years later they met at the stockyard. One said to the other how has life treated you, great was the reply, lived in a pasture with lots of good grass and plenty of bulls. How about you? Terrible she said had to walk all day to get a few bites of grass and there was one old steer in the pasture and all he could do was talk about his operation. Needless to say we never heard any more about the guys operation.

MarkWV · Oct 24, 2011

worked in highway construction repair shop, had a older fella that was a pain, would complain about any and everthing he was asked to do except when asked to drive pilot truck. One hot summer day we took off inside door handles and window cranks, unhooked battery and when someone said they needed pilot truck he ran, got keys and hoped in, some one assisted in shutting door and let him set there for about 30 minutes screaming and waving, we all waved back, strangely after that he calmed down a LOT

DownSouth · Oct 24, 2011

Had a kid in our shop that was always the first out the door at quiting time, and would always burn his tires up leaving. One day a couple of us snuck out about an hour before quitting time and jacked up his truck and put stands under the rear axle, dropping it down so the tires were about 1/4 inch off the ground. We spread the word to everyone but him. Picture in your mind about 20 guys laughing their a$$'s off at this kid as he jammed his truck in gear and attempted to take off. Ahhhh, good memories.

NCWayne · Oct 24, 2011

We sent a guy out once to get us an 'electron analyzer'. he went to nearly every dept on the ship looking and was eventually sent off down the docks to try other ships. When he came back empty handed he got steered to our Div officer who had him fill out a chit to the Engineering officer, whio sent him on to the XO who told him that he had to have the Captains permission to get one. By the time he got to the Captain he had been at it nearly all day and when the captain saw his 'request form' he finally told him....."Son, I think you've been had"......
Had another one that backfired on us. We sent a guy out for a bucket of 'live steam' and he brought back a bucket of water. He said he had finally found the steam but that it had condensed before he could make it back.
Then there were the hunts for the 'keys to the sea chest' so we could get out the steam blankets for the boilers, and of course the Prussian blue, duck tape, etc, etc all getting applied to body parts from the face to shall we say the 'neither regions'.......

ShadetreeRet · Oct 24, 2011

I once worked in the shipping dept. of a mail order company. We had to separate merchandise according to city. When the bin would get full we would send a newbie to the maintenance shop for a "bin stretcher".

EX 450 Owner · Oct 24, 2011

One of the guy we worked 4-Midnight shift with bought a new Citation the first year they came out, he was checking the gas mileage and talking about it almost every night, one night Dave, one of the other guys, went out to his car in the parking lot just after dark; since he had picked up mower gas on the way to work and had it in his trunk he got the bright idea to pour a couple of gallons in the Citation as he was parked next to it.

For the next couple of months Dave would put gas in the Citation several times a week and the Citation owner was bragging about getting nearly 40MPG. Dave then quit putting gas in the Citation and the Owner of the Citation was in the dealers raising cane about his sudden drop in MPH and accused them of messing with the car when they had it in for routine maintenance service, he even wrote letters to GM and tried for months to get GM to “fix” his car.

There was only a couple of us knew what Dave had done and no one ever told the story, we just agreed with the Citation owner that GM should be more responsive to his complaints. :roll:

tractorhead · Oct 25, 2011

Working as a very new machinist apprenest in maching shop. A crankey old timer sent me to the tool room to get 1/2 taps
Returning the old timer looked and said,where drill.I said you said taps
Old timer said; huh next time I go be send dummy, I go myself...

Jiles · Oct 25, 2011

Not exactly a "workplace" story but--I bought a Two Horse Trailer that was in need of a floor. I thought since it was about 40 degrees outside, I would pull it in my garage. I carefully backed the trailer up to the raised 9X7 door and could see that it was a little too high to pass under opening.
I parked it outside, surrounded it with cardboard and placed a small heater inside and began my work.
My 5 year old son came out to help and he asked why I didn't put it in garage.
I stated "it's too tall". He asked how much, and I showed him with two spread fingers.
While lifting a scrap board and not looking at me he said "you could flatten the tires and it might go.
I told him it was too cold for him to help and you know what I did then!!
Funny how the little ones sometimes see what we don't.

Gun guru · Oct 25, 2011

Sort of related.
25 years ago when I was kid I worked at an auto parts store. Behind the store was a tire shop. Well this fat dorky kid worked at the tire shop and he owned a beat up Toyota truck. This truck had garbage piled up inside, like Mcdonalds bags, cups, pop bottles. Well this smartazz I worked with decided to take a brown paper bag with dog schitt in it and put in the bottom of the garbage pile inside the truck. This guy never locked his truck, but I am sure he cleaned it out a day after the bag of dog crap was thrown in.

CheeseHeadFred · Oct 25, 2011

One of the favorite pranks in the second shift weld shop where I worked was to fill a plastic sandwich bag with a mix of oxygen and acetylene, zip it shut. Walk by someone who"s welding and drop it on the floor near them. The first hot spark that hits it burns right through the bag and sets it off like an M-80, scaring the bejeebers out of the guy who was doing the welding.

O/T Work place funnies

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