Speaking of Trespassers... OT

The post below reminded me of a funny story about a trespasser. What stories do you have? I'm not looking for a place to rant, but stories that will make everyone chuckle.

To get mine you have to know that behind my property is nothing but hundreds of acres of woodland, and beyond that farmland accessible only from the other side. There are a few small “roads” that mark the boundaries between parcels and/or that allow hunters access to their tree stands, but beyond that is is just woods

I was near my barn one day when I happened to look up upon hearing an engine back in the woods. Didn't sound like a four wheeler, but what else could it be? As I watched a small sedan crept out of the woodland on the boundary “road”. It crossed the ditch, and proceeded through my meadow toward me, running over the pine trees I had planted to be our future Christmas trees.

Furious and confused about where the car could possibly have come from, I ran to meet it.

But in the seat was a middle age lady who looked sober but frazzled.

“I am so lost,” she said.

How does one respond to that?

“How do I get out of here?”

“Go around the front of the barn, you'll see the lane down to the road.”

She drove straight on past the barn and past my gardens to the hedgerow by the old chicken house. She paused only briefly before turning left toward the road.

She paused at the top of the bank along the road. Then the engine screamed and the car leaped down the bank. She hit the ditch, the car bounced, it lurched sideways, it bounced again, and the front tires landed on pavement. They had enough traction to drag the rest of the car onto the road and away she went.

Where she came from, I have no idea. The boundary road is rarely accessible even to a truck. There is a dead end road a couple miles through the woods that accesses one of the fields. Maybe she ended up in that field and just kept driving up and down one overgrown lane after another until she finally popped out at my meadow.

But I'll never know why she didn't just turn around.
37198.jpg
 
(quoted from post at 13:15:47 06/22/16) The post below reminded me of a funny story about a trespasser. What stories do you have? I'm not looking for a place to rant, but stories that will make everyone chuckle.

To get mine you have to know that behind my property is nothing but hundreds of acres of woodland, and beyond that farmland accessible only from the other side. There are a few small “roads” that mark the boundaries between parcels and/or that allow hunters access to their tree stands, but beyond that is is just woods

I was near my barn one day when I happened to look up upon hearing an engine back in the woods. Didn't sound like a four wheeler, but what else could it be? As I watched a small sedan crept out of the woodland on the boundary “road”. It crossed the ditch, and proceeded through my meadow toward me, running over the pine trees I had planted to be our future Christmas trees.

Furious and confused about where the car could possibly have come from, I ran to meet it.

But in the seat was a middle age lady who looked sober but frazzled.

“I am so lost,” she said.

How does one respond to that?

“How do I get out of here?”

“Go around the front of the barn, you'll see the lane down to the road.”

She drove straight on past the barn and past my gardens to the hedgerow by the old chicken house. She paused only briefly before turning left toward the road.

She paused at the top of the bank along the road. Then the engine screamed and the car leaped down the bank. She hit the ditch, the car bounced, it lurched sideways, it bounced again, and the front tires landed on pavement. They had enough traction to drag the rest of the car onto the road and away she went.

Where she came from, I have no idea. The boundary road is rarely accessible even to a truck. There is a dead end road a couple miles through the woods that accesses one of the fields. Maybe she ended up in that field and just kept driving up and down one overgrown lane after another until she finally popped out at my meadow.

But I'll never know why she didn't just turn around.
37198.jpg
it takes all kinds!
 
Picking corn for a guy one year he said
follow the river. Well I came in from the
one side watching for the river and
suddenly the guy comes up behind me waving
like crazy. Apparently as you start by the
road and go down the river makes a little
turn and inside that bend belongs to
somebody else me coming in from the other
end didn't catch it. The guy said don't
worry the first in the spring always got
the most ground.
 
Years ago we had asked my Uncle about camping on his land down off Rocky River. He said OK, and gave us directions. I can't remember exactly but the directions were pretty generic, to get there, and then something like, 'cross the river, go about 2 miles, and then look for the dirt road at the edge of the big field. Turn down the road, and my place is back behind that field'.

So the next weekend we drove down on a Friday afternoon, and 'turned down the dirt road, beside the field, about 2 miles past the river'. Sure enough just behind the field there was a nice open area, beside a small creek. So, we set up the camp, and were having a great time.

Saturday afternoon, late, we see a tractor coming toward us across the field. The old guy comes down to the fence, and asked what we were doing there. We told him it was our Uncle's place, and we were just camping out. He countered that it was his place, and that our Uncles place was on the other side of the main road, and about 1/4 mile further down.....and that it too was accessed by a dirt road beside a big field, just as we had been told.

He then told us to have a great weekend, and just asked that we make sure we cleaned up behind ourselves before we left on Sunday.

I wonder how many people, like that old farmer, are out there now days???????
 
In 1968 a buddy and I decided to go up north fishing. We left on Fri after work and spent
the first night at my aunt and uncles so we could go bird hunting in the morning on sat. We
hunted until late in the dat and then we drove 50 miles to the salmon stream we were going
to fish in. It was dark when we got there so we went down a 2 track and found a spot to camp
for the night. Now this area was all Federal land at the time and we had not seen a house
anywhere. We set up the tent and went to bed. Got up before daylight the next morning built
a fire and cooked breakfast. As it started to get light we looked to the back of where we
were at and there was a house we had camped in there front yard. We were still on Fed land
but next to private land. What we had done the night before was went almost thru the section
on the two track and almost went on private land. We felt like a couple of fools but we
still get a laugh out of it yet today
 
Years ago my wife and I and some friends started out late for a canoe trip. We had our camping gear and it was late and dark, all
camping places were closed for the evening We drove down a lane and threw our camping gear over a fence set up the tent and went
to bed. Next morning we woke up in a pasture with 30 cows. It is amazing that we did not step in something or set up our tent on
top of a cow pile. OH The adventures of the young.
 
Funny the decisions people make, nice when people remain calm and work it out if and when possible.

For some reason, last summer, a young couple came up over the ridge here, our wood lot and made it down to a stream that I have a berm parallel too, mind you its a farm road, but near wetland, road bed is hard ground, loaded with cobble stones, but the beaver were starting to flood the area and a there was a small pond of water. The fool could have gone around this in an open field and followed the power lines. Instead, he got hung up on the berm. I could hear tires spinning, so I walked down the hill and yelled over, "what the heck are you doing here" ?

I razzed them a bit, found out who they were and who they were related to, ok, so they are locals, joyriding. My tractor was in the garage and the tin off the front because I was working on it right when they got hung up. I walked back up, got the tractor, pulled them out, razzed them a bit more, but in good fun, they appreciated the free tow, me not calling the police/tow truck at their cost. The driver knew it would cost them too. I said "you did not see the 26 posted signs where you came in?" No he responded. I don't believe that for a minute, but said please don't come through here again. I do not know how the heck a full size pick up made it through the path up there. I have photos of this and video of me towing them out. No harm done, but gee, how do people make foolish decisions such as these, beyond me....
 
A number of years back, I was visiting a friend who was the night herdsman at a large local dairy. While chatting, we looked up to see three very bedraggled guys approaching. As they got closer, we could see a few things--they were soldiers from the local army base, they were more than a little intoxicated, and they were VERY liberally doused with cow manure--in fact, pretty much soaked in it. Turned out that after a number of lies and evasions, they admitted they had tried to go mudding in a nearby "field", not recognizing it was the farm's manure lagoon and what looked like mud in the headlights was just the crust on top. They'd put the truck in at about a 45-degree angle, filling half the cab, flooding the engine, and there it sat! Knowing the owner (a Vietnam vet with a temper known to blow up like a hand grenade, and with just as short a fuse) would be along shortly, we melted into the shadows so as not to fall within the blast radius. Suffice to say that their ears and their wallets both took quite a beating before they got pulled out, but as he told them, and they agreed, it was still a WHOLE lot cheaper than calling their CO and letting him deal with getting them out!
 
My dad was in a deer stand on his own property, when he saw a car slowly moving along a trail
through some woods. It stopped, and Dad decided to climb down and confront them and find out
what they were up to. Before he could move, however, a man and a woman got out, opened the rear
doors and climbed in. At that point Dad had no doubt what they were up to, so he just settled
back and watched the show through his scope. I asked him later if he recognized them, and he
said, "Yep". Never would tell me, though.
 
Years ago when things were different farmers in our area had a simple solution to trespassers on their land. They would turn a section of a wood Boss harrow upside down and conceal it in the grass along the path. Those rigid harrow teeth would puncture tires real bad. Anyone who was trespassing knew they had been caught and had to replace their own tires; that's the way things were back then.

On the down side, I had an uncle that forgot that he had laid out a Boss harrow section and got his own tires. That wasn't even on his agenda. His agenda seemed to be to become a world champion in letting engine blocks freeze and bust because he never remembered to drain the water or put in anti-freeze in the fall before we had a hard freeze.
 
Reminded me of a tail my neighbor told. He has a dirt lane between two fields that leads to a woods. He noticed someone had driven down there and hit his mushroom patch. So he hooked the disk and disked the lane. Later another neighbor came walking over to ask for a tow, didn't think landowner would mind. Mushrooms, mind, heck yes! joe
 
I have about a 1/2 mile of wild asparagus in trees along one of my hayfields. It's on my property, next to a trail. People are allowed to pick anywhere along roads, in the ditch, but not on private property. I have a no trespassing sign. Used to be able to pick two or three 50lb feed bags full of asparagus, overpicking and drought, I'm lucky to get a couple hand fulls now.

Anyway, I've caught people from all over, some from over 200 miles away. Some I let in, like families. Others only pick to resell. I went out once and saw 4 wheeler tracks around the inside of the entire hayfield, they weren't there a couple hours earlier, I met guys coming back on the trail, 5 four wheelers all with coolers on the back. I asked if they did it, guy said no. After I asked while I was still talking to him, one of the other guys drove up and into my trees and picked some more. I asked if they could read the sign (only one entrance). I told them to never come back.

Another time, drove by, saw more resellers, asked if they could read the sign, "nope, didn't see it" (obvious sign, new, and only entrance). I told them to leave. I went back to the yard, got the other pickup, went back, and they were there again. I again told them to leave, and to hope I didn't call the police.

I guess I pay taxes on my land, stuff that grows on it is my property, and I don't mind a few servings of asparagus if I can get it. Kind of hard when everyone else gets it instead of me.

Another time, about 3 am I was checking cows. Someone drove in my driveway and parked. I walked to within about 50 feet of them, shined my spotlight. I don't know what they were doing, but they took off pretty fast.
 
The best ones I hear are the "I did not know anyone owned this". And I have heard that many times. There is some strange myth in my area that if you are in or near a stream you can go anywhere you like, or
perhaps it is just playing dumb to avoid owning up to the fact they are indeed trespassing on private property. I normally tell them I would like to know where they live so I can come and hang out on their
lawn, but they always seem to think that is somehow different. I remind them it is no different in my mind than my strolling through their front lawn or driveway, although I suspect most of the ones I
confront probably rent or live with someone else.
 
Best story around here was a farmer who found a pickup blocking his farm lane. Called sheriff and was told not to touch it. So he went home grabbed his backhoe and doug a 6 foot deep moat around the truck. Sheriff had to get out from his desk and come out and mediate, when truck owner came back. Tow bill was pretty big when farmer refused to fill it in.

That said, there was a farmer lived aceoss from a country bar. Had his share of cars left in his drive. One morning here's another blocking him from getting down to the barn to do his chores. So he grabbed a chain and a tractor and slid the offender out of the way. Sheriff was called and farmer had a whole lot of trouble.
 
Sometimes it seems like the law is a club that's used to beat law abiding people with. Maybe criminals have a different opinion about that. I know that when uninvited people come onto my property, selling something, or pretending to be selling something, or just coming to the door with a pointless question to see if anybody is home, or to get a peek at what's inside, I feel like I have to be civil to them even if I don't want to because they know where I live, and I don't know anything about them. People who have no stake in the society and nothing to lose are the ones you don't want to tangle with.

The first renters I ever had, almost 50 years ago, were a shiftless bunch who would tell me things like, "You should have come yesterday---we had the money then." (I hadn't yet learned everything the hard way at that time.) I finally had to hire a lawyer to go through the eviction process to get them out. They all disappeared a few days before the physical eviction was scheduled, taking with them everything that wasn't nailed down. When I told the lawyer they were gone, he suggested that we follow through and get a judgment against them. I don't think he was only trying to drum up more business. He simply couldn't understand that people like that crew are judgment-proof---they own nothing, and are always ready to leave their job on a moment's notice because there's no shortage of jobs for pole dancers and shoplifters.

Stan
 

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