Cleaning out your dads shop after he's gone. How to?

redtom

Well-known Member
As some here know, mom and dad have gone to asstd living and there's no denying the obvious. As time marches on, I am faced with cleaning out and dispersing some of our collection. Like many here, my dad and I are/were "pack rats and lovers of all things old" including tractors. I am faced with cleaning out his shop/shed. Now, I am not on a particular deadline but that could change quickly if he or they pass (I think one will be right after the other). This task seems daunting for a few reasons: I don't have a real shop. I have a huge shed FULL (I'm literally walking from tractor to tractor) and always used his place as "home base" for repairs/restoring. I don't need five of everything...or do I. We have tools galore and other than sentimental reasons should I keep the best, the newest, just what I need? None of my siblings want his shop stuff. I have one brother that is quite well off and his attitude is to bring in a dumpster. several sisters that have spouses that don't want anything either. My one nephew would like some but has no place of his own, just starting out in an apartment and getting married. The saddest part: My 14 yr old son has absolutely NO interest in any of it. I will keep dads machines-Bridgeport mill, lathe and tooling. And the tools I need. But the piles of stuff that we wanted to keep just in case is unreal. I already have a couple tractors outside tarped which is not the best. I just can't seem to draw the line. I look at the stuff now and think, Its been sitting there for 30 years and I never needed it, maybe that means get rid of it. One method is to decide in 6 seconds... yes, no, maybe as to keeping an item. I know my dad always talked sadly how before I was born my grandpa got killed in a farm accident and shortly after EVERYTHING was auctioned right down to the broom and shovel. I guess I just wondered how any of you handled this and needed to talk about it.
 
I did not want to get rid of any of my Dads stuff at first but practical reasons prevailed and I listened to my Wife, who is much smarter than me anyway, and picked several items that are things that he used every day and remind me of him everytime I use them. I have things as diverse as his chest of drawers, guns, tools, tie tacks, sheep catcher cane, vetinary instruments and eye glass case but I decided I did not need every nut, bolt, half roll of used barb wire, wore out lawn mower blade and water hoses with one end missing that he had in his multiple sheds.
 
Take what you NEED, not want. Get the rest ready for auction.It always helps at an auction if the owner is there to vouch for the item as far as running condition. Machines and power items also.
Sort your stuff and add it onto his auction.
They can get a new car.
 
(quoted from post at 10:47:13 01/05/15) As some here know, mom and dad have gone to asstd living and there's no denying the obvious. As time marches on, I am faced with cleaning out and dispersing some of our collection. Like many here, my dad and I are/were "pack rats and lovers of all things old" including tractors. I am faced with cleaning out his shop/shed. Now, I am not on a particular deadline but that could change quickly if he or they pass (I think one will be right after the other). This task seems daunting for a few reasons: I don't have a real shop. I have a huge shed FULL (I'm literally walking from tractor to tractor) and always used his place as "home base" for repairs/restoring. I don't need five of everything...or do I. We have tools galore and other than sentimental reasons should I keep the best, the newest, just what I need? None of my siblings want his shop stuff. I have one brother that is quite well off and his attitude is to bring in a dumpster. several sisters that have spouses that don't want anything either. My one nephew would like some but has no place of his own, just starting out in an apartment and getting married. The saddest part: My 14 yr old son has absolutely NO interest in any of it. I will keep dads machines-Bridgeport mill, lathe and tooling. And the tools I need. But the piles of stuff that we wanted to keep just in case is unreal. I already have a couple tractors outside tarped which is not the best. I just can't seem to draw the line. I look at the stuff now and think, Its been sitting there for 30 years and I never needed it, maybe that means get rid of it. One method is to decide in 6 seconds... yes, no, maybe as to keeping an item. I know my dad always talked sadly how before I was born my grandpa got killed in a farm accident and shortly after EVERYTHING was auctioned right down to the broom and shovel. I guess I just wondered how any of you handled this and needed to talk about it.
e & my Dad, about like you. I'm lucky/fortunate enough that when ever I run out of space for more 'stuff' that 'needs' to be kept, I just build another shed or buy another 40 ft container. After my son, sadly, all these 'cherished' things will probably be scrapped. :(
 
I am guilty of bestowing the packrat disorder to my kids. My son always ask " what you saving all this junk for". When he bought his first home, a rebuilder/remodeler. I carried six five gallon buckets into the house, electrical boxes and connectors, plumbing parts and fittings, nails and screws etc. etc. All that "JUNK" saved him a pile of money and many trips to the lumber yard hardware store. He "saves" now too. Your 14 yr old does not know at this time why he might want that at a later date, but he will want something. Especially after Grandpa is not here. So quiz him a little about his memories with G-ma and G-pa. It may give you some insight into what you son might like to have when he is older.Just trying to help. gobble
 
redtom, IMO, Take an Inventory of what you can! Sort off all the "I keeping" stuff first, Heirloom tools, tools that are important, or same kind as yours, fill in missing. If Dads are really nicer tools than yours then Keep his and sell yours.
Your son will need a set of tools when he goes off to college, work just to do minor repair around the Dorm,Apt,Home! Your Nephew the same! , A small tool box that will fit under the bed, or in the back of the closet ect.... .
Set all the Not Keeping stuff in a pile to dispose of later!
The Maybe, I Don't Know pile will be a huge pile
What to do with this or that is hard, for a ton of memories will flood back with each item , Just do the best you can!
With the To Get Rid of Pile will you have and Estate sale, Garage sale, Let friends and family come and pilfer through and have or donate to some organization so they can use it to fund raise!
Tractors and Equipment I can't tell You what to do, But If any was Dads/Grand-Dads something like that You have got to keep it! some way some how!
If you get rid or it you will regret it later.
Storage is usually the issue, It wasn't for me on big Stuff it was to tool, and household items that was hard what to do with all the Antiques! Furniture, really nice Items!
Kept a couple of pieces and we had an Estate sale, had to shut my eyes and say "Let it Go"! that was almost 8 yrs ago. Every so often I will think of something I need, are want! and it went in the Sale so I guess it wan;t really that important!
Hope this helps!
Later,
John A.
 
That is something, now its not clear legally, whats what, given family and siblings, but if you have authority to do so, why not grab that interested nephew and inventory what you have, know whats there, and visit your mom/dad often assuming he is coherent, just lives in a different place now. One would think it would be great conversation with him to talk about the things he and you have, get some history and visitation time. Use time to your advantage if the items are secure and there is no issue with the others. Once you have gone over everything, prior to disposal, you may find it easier to thin the herd, not be under pressure and disperse things accordingly, maybe another sibling would change their mind and want something as a keepsake. When my friends dad passed, he unfortunately, committed suicide, there was a follow up gathering and his middle son cleaned up the garage a bit and put out a table with items on it that were his dads, not everything, and his place was relatively clean, but he thinned it out a little and everyone took a tool or some piece to remember him by, the table looked just like a garage sale table and there were no high dollar items, just some of his tools that were not likely to see use again, he thought people would appreciate having something from his dads garage and everyone found something of use. There was a socket tray on the table, and my chainsaw tool box needed a tray, he used to spend a lot of time cutting in the woods, so now when I go to the woods, I am reminded of him !

Now obviously, with family and legal matters pertaining, one had best get that ironed out and agreed, making the above easier. I have seen so many times how people get when these situations arise, just like vultures and families can be broken up over material things, or if you have a sale and cash is involved, use care, seek an attorney if need be.

I know if I was in their position and would be around long enough and it was time to dispose of what I had, it would be great to have a trustworthy person to handle it. I'd be really happy to talk about anything I had, give any history on it and pass it on to the new owner, someday that will happen, and without any siblings, I may just have to know when to do that myself, if something does not get me first. Luck of the draw I suppose. I know when you are ill it may not be possible, hopefully your parents are well enough to make it a little easier ahead of the inevitable. Reason I say it, is because its nice when these matters are worked out in an agreeable manner, so many people fight over possessions, they lose sight of the big picture, none of us can take any of these things with us. I have seen 30 yard containers full of someones life many many times, and I mean even the persons degrees hanging on the all, I found a PHD diploma in a frame in one of these containers once, they literally emptied the mans home into a container.
 
It aint easy no matter how you go about it unless you have lots of acres and buildings to store it all. All of us are hoarders to some degree, some just have it worse than others. Believe it or not it sounds like you have the most difficult part handled,, coming to the conclusion that you cant save everything. I have seen many valuable items turned into scrap by hoarders that wouldn't sell for any reason but had no place to put them inside. What I did in your situation was systematically decide what I wanted to keep. If I could only keep ONE thing what would it be? I set it aside and then same with what was left. When I ran out of room the rest was sold at auction. I had no sons or daughters at the time. Did I sell things that I later regretted? You bet, the Super MTA, the H that was the first tractor I drove and the list goers on and on,,but that list also gets shorter every year that goes by. That was over 30 years ago and the most treasured item I saved fits in my shirt pocket. An old John Deere pocket ledger in which dad had written many notes about setting up the planters, combines etc, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
 
BTDT, and it's torture every inch of the way. As you state, the big problem is you can only keep so much and deciding what to keep and what to part with is very difficult. We actioned off as much as sold and then filled three dumsters with scrap iron and other stuff that simply was of no use to anyone in the family. Had some stuff we would have liked to keep but just couldn't keep it around. Sold two tractors that needed work and we simply couldn't afford to do the repairs and still keep a portion of the farm. You will get through it eventually and most of the stuff you decide to let go won't be missed a few years down the road. There will be some regrets about some of your choices but it will be water under the bridge in a few years and life goes on. You do it one tractor and one pile of stuff at a time. As you move through all of this stuff your son may change his mind about some of the things also. Onne of my sons is a neat freak and he threw a lot of scrap out I would have kept, but I can't say as I miss any of it now that it's gone.
 
BTDT also

Actually 5 years after Dad passed I still have his tool box in the farm shop. Pretty much untouched.

When he died Mom pretty much wanted to clear all his tools out of her house and his woodworking shop in back. Makes it a huge pain doing any fixing in her house as I have to drive home if I need something I didn't bring.

Anyway back to the subject at hand. I have found that ones frame of mind is key in this job. You need to be in the mood to pitch stuff. Have a pile that is for pitching. One for stuff that has value but would be extras for you and of course the one for keeping. Stuff with value take to a Auctioneer if you have one that could sell it as part of one of their auctions.

Yes it is nice to have stuff but you don't need "stuff" to have memories. I will keep some of my dad's tools but have already given away some and sold some. The memory of him will always be there and there is no way someone can take it away.

jt
 
I've been telling my 2 kids, better get a house with basement and get a large pole barn. Someday you will need it. Both live in subdivisions, can't even put a shed in the yard, don't have basements.

My daughter is planning to sell in the spring and look elsewhere. Boy can't do anything without being told.
 
Are you sure that your in laws don't want or need anything? There were a few things that I would have liked of my FIL,s, but my wife didn't see the need to consult me and I as an in law of only 10 years did not want to appear opportunistic and didn't feel comfortable asking. Point being don't take your sisters word that nothing is valuble to her household.
 
does the local highschool have a vocational agriculture class? maybe you could donate some of the exess to the local FFA chapter they sometimes rebuild and raffle off old tractors as fund raisers
 
No Fun at all that's for sure !

They all say they don't want it now. Yea right just let them catch wind of what some of that stuff might be worth and that will change QUICKLY !!!!

Well if you have the parents blessing and if they are of sound mind get all of the major stuff out you can and onto your place.

After Dad's stroke I had his blessing to get all of mine and his stuff out and hauled many loads to my place. Worst thing was we really don't know who actually bought what ? Still several things at his place and some hauled to my place made there way back as Dad is doing more then he first thought he would. I got the major items. If something worse happens most left are just smaller hand tool type items that can be replaced with new if and when needed.
 
Start by scraping or selling the obvious things first to clear out some of the clutter. Find a new home for at least 1/3rd of it each time you sort through it.

Ninety nine percent of the time, if something has little sentimental value, has not been used recently, and is not needed for any immediate projects, it will not be missed. So be a little ruthless or you will never get done.
 
Is there enough for an auction, once you've gotten what you want?

You might not make much money but you will make a lot of people happy and the stuff will go to good homes. Fellow packrats who live to go to auctions like this.
 
My father passed 14 years ago , we had an auction as I had moved and was unable to move back to the farm at the time . I kept every tool I could and some things I know I will never use , just to have . Been back here 10 years now , have gathered enough equipment and started working the place again, also built a house with some of his tools . I had a younger boy who worked really well until his teens and then it was like pulling teeth until a couple years ago , now he gardens , had a little road side stand , helps me hay and keep everything running and he messes with old jeeps and he's even into guns now so don't rule him out you never know . Mine was 18 before he showed interest in what I would call my lifestyle , he also works full time . I don't know exactly what tipped the scales but I'm glad it did.
 
I recently read a tip for getting rid of stuff in the kitchen drawer of miscellaneous items: Put everything in a box and take out items as they are needed. Anything that gets used goes back into the drawer. After a predetermined amount of time, say six months, whatever hasn't gone into the drawer is disposed of. I've been trying to think of a way to apply a similar procedure to the huge amount of tools, materials, and goods of every sort that have turned much of my house and garage into ridiculous storage areas. I've heard of many systems for doing what you (as well as many of the rest of us) need to do, but never one I've been able to make work. I suspect that it's a matter of getting the right attitude---brutal and remorseless. If I could do that, I think I'd be okay--there would be plenty of time for remorse later.

Stan
 
I've been down a similar road a few years ago. First thing I would do is call a family meeting with everyone and get it straight with the family you own whats in the shop. Its all junk to some people until they realize what it was worth. If its like what I had to deal with some of it is just junk.

My son at that age had the same opinion about my tools, shop and tractors. Now he's past 30 and is facinate with all that we can do at the shop. So don't worry about your son he will come around. Remember you're not a cool dude right now to him.

Your one nephew would be one to work with right now also. Working with him, sharing the shop tools even if you have to store them at you place may be best for you now and years from now.

I will say again get the family meeting done . In my situation I had to pay my family for a tractor that I already own for more than 10 years. Peace in the family is more important than money.
 
I'm sure when you get into it you will need a dumpster. There will be a lot things your dad saved and only he knows what for. When my parents passed I didn't have anyone wanting any of their stuff so I had to deal with it. I just had to make storage for the most of it and gave the rest to charity.
 
My dad died when I was 22. It's not much fun, that's forsure. I kept what I knew I'd use, everything else went down the road. Several trips to the dump, goodwill, etc. Still have some things that I shoulda tossed. Maybe it'll happen next time I move...

Ben
 
In regard to getting rid of things when you move, my wife told me that her grandmother used to say, "Three moves is as good as a house fire". Maybe it was two, I don't remember, and I missed hearing her say it by about forty years. I like the idea, though.

Stan
 
These items may not look like much but I wouldn't trade them for all the money the devil could offer starting at 3 o'clock (Sorry I couldn't help it) Was one of my grandmothers favorite possessions-a 1972 GE fruit clock which still works next is My grandfathers garden hoe and watering can which I can remember him using till the day He passed and last is a Westernfield 22 My Great grandfather and grandfather on My Moms side owned and let Me use through the years. To be fair the Family decided it was best to auction every thing and if You want it-bid on it and it worked.At the end of the auction We traded memories and stories and We all went away with something to remind Us of our Family and that is how I wound up with the first three items and as far as the 22 My Mother and Her siblings decided that they would each get three items of My grandparents and the rest would be auctioned and My Mom being the sweetheart She is got that 22 just for Me and on one of the worst days of work I had ever had-Not to mention that it was My birthday She gave it to Me and it turned out to be one of the happiest and emotional days in My life. Sorry for the long post but I figured maybe this would shed some lite for You on an otherwise sad situation.
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